A young mother's self-report: The year after giving birth is really the most difficult year for husband and wife!Postpartum Marital Crisis Many mothers, including myself, are most reluctant to look back on the first year after giving birth.
Even though the child is now grown up and seems to be a happy family, in reality many people are reluctant to talk about this experience, but few people are able to understand these numbing mindsets.
During pregnancy, I couldn't fully understand how having a baby could make so many changes to a small family
01 Why do so many mothers sigh, "The year after giving birth is the most difficult year for their husband and wife"?
There is a saying called "marrying a ghost knows the ghost", and only when you have a child can you know the hardship, which may be a bit exaggerated. But as soon as the children are born, the facts are revealed, and they are indeed like a magic mirror, magnifying and even creating a lot of problems.
And as a couple of new parents, it is easy to forget to understand and be considerate of each other in the busyness and fatigue.
In addition, the postpartum depression hormone declines, does the body recover well?You can imagine that a patient still needs to take care of the child, breastfeeding, can she be in good condition?
The second problem is that Bao Dad joined this identity late, did not experience the change of pregnancy and appetite, it is difficult for him to have full feelings for this child, and even many Bao Dad will show that this child has nothing to do with him, and even more will ask Bao Ma to cook supper for him as before, play games and watch movies with him, but Bao Ma is too tired.
In addition, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and family is also a problem, and the mother wants to take care of the child in her own way or in a scientific way, but she has encountered a lot of resistance. In addition, Bao Dad often drinks, plays games, and snores, and Bao Ma is about to die of exhaustion every day, but no one understands. Sometimes Bao Dad will make some comments, but the more I listen to it, the more unpleasant it becomes, and the more I think about it, the more angry I become. You want your husband to understand how hard you work, but he can't understand it at all, and even thinks you're messing around. So many mothers have varying degrees of postpartum depression. This is not an exaggeration.
In the year after giving birth, in some couples, the wife can comfort herself and choose to forgive, and the relationship will continue. Some wives can't bear it, so they choose to divorce when they find the right time, and then they fight for property and child custody.
02 How to get through this difficult postpartum year?
How can I ease or reduce postpartum quarrels?
First of all, you should talk to your husband more during pregnancy, so that he can feel like a father and have a better attitude.
For example, take him to see the growth process of the fetus during pregnancy, for example, to see that the fetus has now grown to the size of an apple, and then becomes a big watermelon, and there is an interesting father with a child.
Don't think that if he accompanies you to the prenatal check-up, he will cultivate his feelings of being a father. A lot of men just sit in another place and play with their phones.
Second, try to get dad more involved in parenting.
For example, you can arrange for him to take care of the child alone for two hours, so that he can experience the whole process of raising a baby. It's not just about simply changing diapers or feeding your child some milk, but letting him deeply feel the fun and challenge of bringing a baby.
Third, let the father be responsible for family communication, don't criticize the mother, don't cause trouble to the mother.
Try to give Baozi some alone time every week, or you can enjoy the time between you and Baodad.
Fourth, a very important point is about mothers, that is, don't treat children as everything.
I didn't fully realize the problem until my child was over a year old, and I've been ignoring my husband for a long time.
Don't feel like you're going to be the perfect mom, the perfect mom doesn't exist. Be sure to leave enough time and space for yourself and your husband, rest when it's time to rest, dress up when it's time to go on a date, and leave the children in the care of your family.
The relationship between husband and wife is always more important than the parent-child relationship, and I hope that all parents can understand and practice.