There are three main forms of marriage among the Miao people: free love, arranged marriage, and snatching relatives. Free love refers to the voluntary marriage of a man and a woman after mutual understanding and love. An arranged marriage is one in which the parents or elders of a man and a woman arrange for them to marry without their consent. Snatching refers to the man forcibly taking the woman home without the woman's consent, and after a certain procedure, becoming a legal husband and wife. These three forms of marriage have different degrees of popularity and trends in different Miao areas and different historical periods. Generally speaking, free love is the most popular form of marriage among Miao youth, arranged marriage is the oldest and most common form of marriage, and snatching relatives is the most characteristic and dramatic form of marriage of Miao people.
The Miao wedding ceremony is mainly divided into three stages: engagement, greeting and wedding banquet. Betrothal means that the man proposes to the woman the intention to marry and gives a dowry, such as wine, cigarettes, sugar, tea, money, etc., to show his sincerity. After the woman accepted the dowry, the two parties were engaged. Greeting means that the man brings relatives, friends and gifts to the woman's house to greet the bride on the appointed day. In the process of greeting the bride, the man has to go through various tests and difficulties in the woman's family, such as guessing riddles, singing, drinking, dancing, etc., in order to show the man's talent and courage. The woman's family should also try to delay time to express their reluctance and attachment to their daughter. A wedding feast is when the man brings the bride home and holds a grand banquet to invite relatives and friends to celebrate the wedding. The size and dishes of the wedding banquet are determined according to the man's economic conditions and local customs, but generally there are meats of chickens, ducks, pigs, cows, sheep and other animals, as well as food such as rice wine, glutinous rice, and glutinous rice cakes to show abundance and auspiciousness. During the wedding feast, the couple should toast, be blessed, and perform programs to increase the festive and joyful atmosphere.
There are two main aspects of the Miao people's post-marriage customs: returning to their parents' homes and passing through the door. Returning to her parents' home means that the bride will return to her parents' house for a certain period of time after marrying into the man's family to reunite with her relatives. The time and frequency of returning to my parents' home vary according to different regions and habits, and are generally carried out at different time nodes such as three days, ten days, half a month, one month, three months, half a year, and so on. When returning to her parents' home, the bride should bring gifts from the man's family, such as wine, cigarettes, sugar, tea, money, etc., to show her filial piety and gratitude. When the bride returns to her parents' home, the man's family should also send someone to accompany her to show respect and concern. Passing through the door means that the bride returns to the man's house again to reunite with her husband after returning to her mother's home. When passing through the door, the bride should bring gifts from her mother's family, such as chicken, duck, eggs, rice, noodles, oil, etc., to show filial piety and courtesy. When the bride passes through the door, her family should also send someone to accompany her to express blessings and farewells. Returning to one's parents' home and passing through the door is an important part of the Miao people's post-marriage customs, which reflects the importance and maintenance of family affection and marriage of the Miao people.
The marriage custom of the Miao people is the essence of the Miao culture, reflecting the national character and national wisdom of the Miao people. The marriage customs of the Miao nationality have both traditional factors and modern changes, both common characteristics and individual differences, constituting a colorful national customs painting. Understanding and respecting the marriage customs of the Miao people is conducive to enhancing exchanges and understanding between different ethnic groups, and promoting ethnic unity and social harmony.
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