I never expected that,Star ophthalmologist Tao Yong "collapsed" overnight
The entry about him rushed to the hot search, and countless netizens expressed their disappointment:My filter on Dr. Tao is broken
However, the reason for his reputation this time has nothing to do with the medical profession, but because of a short essay he wrote on his daughter's birthday....
If you don't cooperate with the photo, you will become a "witch" in the eyes of your father?
Tao Yong, an ophthalmology professor at Chaoyang Hospital in Beijing, is well-known for a violent injury to a doctor three years ago.
As the leading ophthalmologist in China, he almost couldn't pick up a scalpel again. However, such a top talent in the medical field in the eyes of everyone has "overturned" in family education.
coincided with his daughter's birthday, and Dr. Tao Yong posted a short article titled "12 Years Old" on Weibo, as if he wanted to show off his parenting experience.
In the article, he listed the rebellious performance of his 12-year-old daughter"Dragging", and "stinky temper".
How do you do that?
I don't cooperate with the heart of taking pictures, and I patronize and play games with netizens;
When eating, she obediently served food to her elders, and asked her to wash the dishes but was unwilling, so that he could "invite her out of the room to wash the dishes and chopsticks".
In the end, Dr. Tao Yong sighed: "At the fork in the road of becoming a witch and a lady, my father does not dare to slack off at all, and I am honestly afraid, there is only that little thing in the brain structure, once the obedient circuit is formed, the format cannot be cleared." ”
Dr. Tao Yong casually wrote a short article of true feelings, but netizens sniffed a strong and familiar smell of dad from his words.
The daughter didn't want to be careful, and forced her to cooperate with her father's wishes to pose for a photo;
Obviously it was her daughter's birthday, and she had to direct her to serve her elders at the dinner table, and she was satisfied to describe it as "obediently complying";
Knowing it with emotion, moving it with reason, citing scriptures and classics", as if washing a dish has become a major event that affects the international people's livelihood.
Thinking of the little girl's birthday, of course, it was reluctant, and it was really hard not to be angry for her when she was proudly posted by her father to show off on the whole network.
Washing dishes or not washing dishes, cooperating or not cooperating, in the eyes of Dr. Tao Yong, is the difference between "a lady and a witch".
Netizens couldn't help but sigh:He has read so many books and has become an intellectual elite in the eyes of everyone, why is he still a feudal leader?
Unexpectedly, a child-rearing impression actually sent Tao Yong to the hot search, to be precise, it was "scolding" on the hot search.
Soon he also deleted the article and made a new response. He admits that this "self-righteous humorous" text is actually an inappropriate ridicule, and it is still necessary to consider whether the communication is proper for children's education.
After Dr. Tao Yong responded, it calmed down slightly.
Because compared to many opinionated parents, self-reflection has won at the starting line.
2023 is the most terrifying**, evoking collective PTSD
Why did Dr. Tao Yong's Weibo post set off such a violent reaction?
Because angry netizens saw their childhood selves from this girl.
I saw the self who was forced, suppressed, and suppressed by my parents.
I saw the child who was obviously celebrating his birthday but still had to meet the expectations of adults;
I saw the boy who didn't care if he was happy or not, but he still had to work hard to perform politely and well-behaved.
This is a disappointing youth that they have been suppressed for too long, and a similar episode can provoke distant pains.
I don't know if you have seen that there is a very popular one on the Internet"Twins eat strawberries".**, which is also praised by netizens"Be cautious about poor psychological tolerance".One of the horror home videos.
Mom bought the two girls a matcha cake with a strawberry on each side of the cake.
After my sister ate the strawberry on the left, my mother also reached out and took the strawberry on the rightMy sister broke down and cried because she couldn't eat strawberries.
At this time, the mother dropped the strawberry on the fork on the ground and asked her sister to pick it up, and when the sister bent over, the sister reached out and ate the grapes and candy on her side.
My sister cried even louder, and my mother handed her sister the strawberries she had picked up to her sister and asked her to bite them apart with her mouth. So my mother and sister got two large strawberries, and the smallest one was left for my sister.
My sister continued to cry, and my mother had to tell my sister to be "fair".
So my sister spit out the strawberry in her mouth again, bit a slightly larger piece and handed it to my sister.
My sister collapsed the whole time, my sister was expressionless and only cared about the food in front of her, and my mother didn't balance the food that the sisters shared, but in the end she still forced her sister to accept it:"Laugh a little, don't eat if you don't laugh. ”
is just a twin's daily small **, but it has aroused the monstrous emotions of netizens.
Full of control and admonition, there is no trace of a warm family atmosphere. Obviously, strawberries are not a very valuable thing, but they are invisibly endowed with high emotional value by this mother.
You have to eat with a smile, and you have to eat with gratitude, otherwise you will live up to her expectations.
* The mother in the background sound heard the little daughter being noisy and ignorant, and in the hearts of netizens, this is a stress reaction after experiencing mental abuse.
An untouched home video has become the horror of the year in the hearts of countless people**.
And this kind of "family horror video" is common in real life, and it often appears in film and television works to stimulate the audience.
The popular TV series "Minglong Boy", a remake of the Japanese campus inspirational drama "Dragon Sakura", was called a "Chinese-style horror" by netizens.
This kind of "Chinese-style horror" is none other than the Chinese parents who are best at using love as a threat.
In this drama, there are middle-class parents who have rich resources and backgrounds, but force their children to cheat in exchange for their parents' expectations;
There are also mothers who are excessively involved in their children's lives under the banner of concern, even introducing themselves, queuing, and wiping the bath;
There are also excellent teachers who teach and educate people abroad, and are full of peach and plums, but when they return home, they become hateful fathers who suppress, deny, and despise their sons.
The child who grew up under this repression was admitted to a top college with hatred for his father.
What kind of future will children grow up with hatred, and will they have great futures?"The Singing Dragon Boy" asks us such a question.
However, the audience who watched this drama had no time to think about it, and they were already hurt by this suffocating sensation.
A repressed childhood, a youth that was denied, a kidnapped emotion....The damage suffered becomes muscle memory, which can be accurately captured at any time when the plot repeats itself, and then it hurts again.
This is a necessary PTSD in the process of getting out of the haze of the family and scraping the bones to heal the wounds.
Re-nurturing yourself, ** childhood pain
A popular phrase for the first two years:"Parents have been waiting for their children's gratitude all their lives, but children have been waiting for their parents' apologies all their lives."
But recently, some young people who can't wait for their parents to apologize have begun to choose a more active way of self-redemption:Nurture yourself again.
After all, parents are not something we can choose, and "raising ourselves" is what we can pamper ourselves when we become adults.
How do you raise yourself again?That is to become your own family of origin.
Blogger "Wen Luxin", was beaten by his parents when he was a child playing with mud, and at the age of 28, he went to Jingdezhen to learn clay sculpture;
When I was a child, I wanted to sit on a small flying chair in the park, but every time I was driven by an adult, I signed myself up for a paragliding course when I grew up
When she was a child, her family hated the cold north, and when she grew up, she came to live in the north alone, and when the snow was falling in winter, she and her lover sat in the house listening to songs and enjoying the snow, which was warm and comfortable.
Sometimes, "raising yourself" doesn't even have to travel so far.
It can be a sudden wake-up in the early hours of the morning to take a shower, without worrying about the chatter of adults.
It can also be ordering a takeaway pizza and watching an episode of "Life Big**" on the sofa
It can also be to make up for the strawberry cake that was not satisfied in that childhood.
To nurture oneself is to abandon those hurtful and neglected pasts, and to rebuild a new order with oneself as the absolute center.
In his book "It's Okay Not to Forgive", American psychologist Pete Walker spends a lot of time elaborating on the law of "raising yourself again".
And he himself is the beneficiary of redeeming himself through this method.
In the opening dedication of the book, Pete Walker writes:"I would also like to dedicate this book to people who are often verbally and emotionally abused at dinner tables. Hopefully, this book will help you with all your hurts and repair your relationship with food. ”
Many readers wrote in the caption to this passage: "Thank you. ”
Maybe they were also the girls who were eaten strawberries at the dinner table, maybe they were the birthday stars who were also arranged to add food to the adults on their birthdays, or maybe they were naughty teenagers who encountered too much criticism and accusations at the dinner table...
Most of the injuries caused by childhood come from the family that brought us love and care at the beginning, but we still have the opportunity to ** them and let go of them.
Holding hatred may be inspired by the destruction of the boat to achieve temporary glory, but with love, we can go further and longer in the torrent of life.
What our parents didn't do well, we wouldn't necessarily get a perfect score. But giving ourselves unconditional love may also be the starting point for us to get the best.
In 2024, may we all become pampered children.