On April Fool's Day in 2003, there was a shocking and sad news in the entertainment industry.
"The famous Hong Kong star Leslie Cheung fell to his death".
That year, Leslie Cheung was only 46 years old and was at the peak of his life, why did he suddenly fall from the building?
Just when everyone was confused, a suicide note about Leslie Cheung suddenly circulated.
In the suicide note, countless words are filled with one thing: "sad, frustrated, sad".
Especially the last 12 words:"I haven't done anything bad in my life, why is this happening?”
At that moment, many people said that Leslie Cheung had depression, which led to the tragedy.
In fact, the reason behind it is not just depression.
Leslie Cheung's family conditions have been very good since he was a child, and his father Zhang Huohai is a wealthy businessman who makes clothes, and was once known as the "king of tailors".
's mother, Pan Yuyao, is a beautiful lady with a docile personality.
It stands to reason that living in such an environment, Leslie Cheung will live happily.
But in fact, it didn't.
They have 10 children, and Leslie Cheung is the youngest.
Due to the large number of children, and the fact that his mother is looking for someone to check the evidence of his father's "nostalgia for flowers" every day, he has no time to take care of him.
In Leslie Cheung's impression, he sees his mother very few times a month, and the longest time he gets along is only 36 hours.
There is only one servant named "Sixth Sister" and an elderly grandmother who has been waiting for him for a long time.
Perhaps it is precisely because of this that Leslie Cheung hopes to be loved by his parents.
In order to attract the attention of his parents, he deliberately soiled his father's favorite clothes, and then left evidence and waited for them to find him.
I have to say that Leslie Cheung's method really works.
When his parents found him, they started the mode of singing red face and white face.
's father scolded Leslie Cheung fiercely, and his mother stopped and comforted him.
Such a scene, if it were placed on other people's children, might have scared and cried.
But for Leslie Cheung, it is rare and enjoyable.
Because he felt that his parents cared about him.
However, Leslie Cheung was wrong.
It didn't take long for his parents to send him to study abroad without consulting Leslie Cheung.
That year, Leslie Cheung was only 13 years old.
He was studying alone in England, surrounded by strangers, scared, terrified.
In order to make his heart feel better, Leslie Cheung wrote a letter home every night, and he longed for his parents to respond to him.
Yet every letter he sent was like a stone sinking into the sea, and he never received a reply.
At that time, Leslie Cheung thought every day:"Am I too redundant, that's why my parents hate me so much and want me to leave?”
Leslie Cheung looks forward to going home every day, to the home where he can see his parents.
I've been looking forward to it for years.
Over the years, he has been like a child without a home, in a foreign land, and his eyes have become desolate.
As time went by, Leslie Cheung also grew up, and he no longer longed for the life of home.
He thought:"Maybe I should live alone in this world. ”
originally thought that Leslie Cheung would cut off contact with his family from now on.
However, in his freshman year, his family finally got a letter.
At that moment, Leslie Cheung was extremely happy, he felt that he had been looking forward to it for so many years, and finally had a loving response.
But this is not the case.
The family told him that his father was critically ill and told him to hurry back.
The short content made Leslie Cheung's heart slip from the peak to the trough in an instant.
It turned out that the family sent the letter not to care about themselves.
Although Leslie Cheung was very awkward in his heart, after all, the blood relationship was still there, and he still hoped that his father would get better, so Leslie Cheung set off to return to his hometown.
On the way home, Leslie Cheung made a lot of psychological preparations.
He fantasized about the picture of the family reunion on TV, and the scene where the parents had not seen their son hugging and crying for many years.
At that time, Leslie Cheung also felt that maybe his parents still cared about him, and maybe they would cry with joy when they saw ...... him
But the ideal is very beautiful, but the reality is very cruel.
When he returned home and saw his parents, both parties were very indifferent, and they found that they had not seen each other for so many years, and the already small relationship between parents and children had long since dispersed.
Leslie Cheung moved out of the house and wanted to change the environment to mend his heart full of wounds.
He rented a house, sold shoes and jeans for a living, and went to the bakery at the door to help shout and attract customers.
Leslie Cheung was originally an introverted person, but these experiences completely wore out his character.
It can be seen how hard he lived during that time.
At that time, the owner of the baked cake shop also joked with Leslie Cheung:"Young man, don't your parents feel distressed when you do these jobs at a young age?”
Hearing this, Leslie Cheung's eyes instantly turned red, and he shook his head and didn't speak.
Perhaps at that time, he felt that life was bleak.
But there are troughs and peaks in life.
In 1977, 20-year-old Leslie Cheung participated in the Hong Kong Li's TV Asian Song Contest and won the second place with a foreign song.
Therefore, Leslie Cheung signed a 5-year contract with the TV station and successfully entered the entertainment industry.
This is the first time Leslie Cheung has been recognized, and there is a little more light in his dark life.
As the saying goes, when a person is deep in darkness and suddenly shines into a light, then that person will not hesitate to grasp the light with great difficulty.
Leslie Cheung is like that.
In order to keep this light, Leslie Cheung practiced singing frantically.
He could get up at four o'clock in the morning and start singing, except for a short break in between, he stayed in the rehearsal room and never went out.
At that time, many people also advised him to relax properly, otherwise he would get sick.
Leslie Cheung couldn't listen to it, and continued to rehearse, even if his throat hurt so much that he couldn't make a sound, he insisted on practicing.
Originally, he thought that as long as he worked hard, this light would stay.
But the light is destined to be ungraspable, unless you become that light.
At that time, the company saw that Leslie Cheung was almost practicing, so he let him hold a concert.
At the concert, he sang and danced to show his best appearance to the audience.
But no one in the audience applauded and celebrated him, only a sigh.
Not only that, Leslie Cheung also watched his records, and no one wanted them for a dollar.
At that moment, Leslie Cheung suffered a big blow in his heart, and after singing the song, he ran to the backstage and cried bitterly.
He put all the blame on himself not trying hard enough, so he continued to practice desperately.
Hard work pays off.
Finally in 1984, Leslie Cheung made a name for himself in the Hong Kong music scene with a song "Monica".
The following year, he won the Golden Melody Award for "Unruly Wind".
Such an achievement finally made Leslie Cheung feel a little better in his heart.
However, as fast as luck comes, so does the blow.
On the award stage of the Golden Melody Awards, someone told Leslie Cheung:"A moment of splendor does not mean eternity. ”
Hearing this, Leslie Cheung chuckled in his heart.
Then he replied lightly: "It's better than nothing." ”
The dark experience can only be achieved little by little through the light of the career.
In the following years, Leslie Cheung has been proving himself with his actions that he can get that eternal light.
He sang the songs "Who Resonates", "Unintentional Sleep" and so on, and later became the first Cantonese singer to enter the Korean ** market.
and broke the sales record of Chinese records in South Korea, and even won the Most Popular Male Singer Award for the Top Ten Golden Songs for two consecutive years.
It seems that overnight, Leslie Cheung went from a rising star in the music world to the most popular boy in the music world.
However, at this moment, a male singer who competed with him for the light appeared - Alan Tam.
The strength of the two is equal, when Leslie Cheung became popular, Alan Tam not only released three ** in succession, but even won the Golden Horse Award for Best Actor, and later won the Most Popular Male Singer Award for the Top Ten Golden Songs for 4 consecutive years.
-for-tat against Mai Mang, at first Leslie Cheung and Alan Tam were just a simple competitive relationship, and there were not too many problems.
But later, because the fans on both sides pinched each other too much, they almost caused Leslie Cheung to not be able to go out at the concert.
So in 1989, Leslie Cheung made a major decision.
He held a farewell concert, and at the concert site, he told everyone with tears in his eyes:
"I'm quitting the music scene today, and I didn't make this decision rashly, because when I look back at the past records, some glorious stars have chosen to say goodbye to the stage at the best moment of their lives, and I think you will remember me as well. ”He said the saddest thing in the gentlest words.
Who would want to leave the peak of their life, it's just a last resort.
originally thought that entering the music world could seize the light, ** his broken heart, but he didn't expect to encounter this kind of thing.
In Leslie Cheung's life, there was a woman who had been ** him for a long time - Mao Shunyun.
Mao Shunjun is also an actor, and when she and Leslie Cheung met, they were both fledgling newcomers.
Mao Shunyun's personality is very gentle, and her speech is soft and soft, which is very compatible with Leslie Cheung, who is as gentle as jade.
At first, the two were just friends, and then in a drama.
The director asked the two of them to play a couple in love.
At that time, Leslie Cheung and Mao Shunjun had never been in love, and they were very shy about the topic of "couples in love".
In addition, they didn't fall in love at that time, so they could blush for a long time when they held hands, and they were embarrassed for a long time.
The director looked at the awkward duo and came up with an idea.
Let Leslie Cheung and Mao Shunjun treat each other as their other half, hold hands and go to the playground to play for a day to find a feeling.
In this way, the seeds of ambiguity were planted.
After that day, the relationship between Leslie Cheung and Mao Shunjun immediately rose from a ladder.
They often talk and laugh, sometimes they talk shoulder to shoulder, and people who don't know think it's a young couple talking about love.
The rendering of the atmosphere, coupled with long-term contact, Leslie Cheung really fell in love with Mao Shunjun, and he pursued it crazily.
Finally, the two fell in love.
Their love is very sweet, Mao Shunjun knew that Leslie Cheung had a rough experience when he was a child, so he often comforted him, and sometimes took him to meet his parents and feel the love of some elders.
Leslie Cheung was very grateful for the light brought by Mao Shunyun, and he couldn't wait to keep this light by his side, so he quickly proposed to Mao Shunyun.
At that time, Mao Shunjun was still young, and her parents often told her not to worry about marriage, so in the face of Leslie Cheung's marriage proposal, she subconsciously refused.
This refusal completely hurt Leslie Cheung.
The seed of inferiority complex in his heart began to sprout, and he began to wonder if he had done something bad to make Mao Shunyun unhappy, and asked if he was not good enough.
Leslie Cheung asked Mao Shunjun in every possible way:"If you want to reject my marriage proposal, why don't you say break up when you're in love?”
Mao Shunjun didn't know how to answer, so the two broke up.
This incident was like a thorn in Leslie Cheung's heart, and it was not until the two met again in an interview many years later that the conflict was resolved.
Emotionally wounded, Leslie Cheung began to focus all his attention on his career.
He was first active in the music industry, and later entered the showbiz after quitting the music industry, and successively starred in "The True Story of A Fei" and "Farewell My Concubine", which received very good responses, and also won the title of actor.
reached the peak again in his career, and Leslie Cheung ushered in the news of his father's death.
At that moment, he thought, what should his mother do?
Although Leslie Cheung had a lot of opinions about his parents when he was a child, as he grew older, he suddenly felt that his parents might have been in distress.
So he wanted to take the initiative to reconcile to make up for the regrets he had when he was a child.
Leslie Cheung returned to his hometown and took his mother to his home, which made it easier to take care of her.
originally thought that it would be an exciting thing for mother and son to meet, but they were very strange.
After her mother Pan Yuyao arrived at Leslie Cheung's house, she didn't dare to walk around, didn't dare to touch it, and even went to the bathroom to ask"Can I use your bathroom?"”
At that moment, Leslie Cheung's heart was full of sadness and was very hurt.
In fact, due to not seeing each other for a long time, Pan Yuyao no longer knew how to get along with her son, and even forgot his preferences.
It's sad that they are mother and son, but they don't know how to get along.
But this can't stop Leslie Cheung's idea of breaking the ice.
He took the initiative to chat with his mother, took his mother to eat at a high-end restaurant, bought beautiful clothes for his mother, and gave his mother gifts and ...... that she liked
Leslie Cheung tried everything to be good to his mother.
However, the most unexpected thing is that the better Leslie Cheung treats his mother, the more his mother retreats.
At that moment, Leslie Cheung's heart was cold.
He suddenly felt powerless and unable to warm his mother's heart.
Until later, there was a time when Leslie Cheung was under too much pressure at work, and there were some emotional problems, so he cried all the time from the company to his home.
Mother Pan Yuyao was startled when she saw her son's face for the first time, and hurriedly stepped forward to check the situation.
But Leslie Cheung had locked the door, and no one could enter.
Pan Yuyao, who was at a loss, was scared and nervous, and immediately knocked on the door and asked warmly"Son, don't be like this, I'll be sad if you do this. ”
The moment he heard this, Leslie Cheung was stunned for a moment, and then cried bitterly.
It turned out that his mother still cared about him.
In this way, Leslie Cheung and Pan Yuyao resolved the contradictions for many years in tears.
Leslie Cheung, who finally got his mother's love, was extremely happy, and he sang a song at the concert"The Moon Represents My Heart"., which is used to express love for the mother.
originally thought that the family relationship that was finally repaired would last for a long time.
It didn't take long for Pan Yuyao to pass away.
That day, Leslie Cheung broke down and cried, he hadn't done his filial piety well, he hadn't let his mother feel his heart, and he hadn't enjoyed enough of his mother's love, so he would never see him.
A child without a mother is like a root grass.
During that time, Leslie Cheung fell into heavy pain and couldn't extricate himself, and later it was his beloved Mr. Tang who helped him get out of the shadow of losing his mother.
Mr. Tang and Leslie Cheung have known each other since childhood and have always had a good relationship.
Later, Leslie Cheung went abroad to study and cut off contact with Mr. Tang.
But people who are destined will meet after all.
In 1982, Leslie Cheung and Mr. Tang met again at a convergence.
Since then, they have developed a different kind of relationship.
Mr. Tang quit his job as a bank executive for Leslie Cheung to concentrate on taking care of his life.
In order to give Mr. Zutang a sense of security, Leslie Cheung even took him to various public occasions.
The two have never deliberately concealed their feelings for each other, they boldly go in and out together, and never shy away from it.
So it quickly caused speculation in **.
Leslie Cheung was unwilling to let Mr. Tang's stable life be broken, so the two went underground.
But the underground love affair is not guaranteed after all, and Leslie Cheung was in the popular period during that time, and the news was spreading everywhere.
The relationship between the two was shaken for a while.
Leslie Cheung didn't want this new light to dissipate so quickly, so he was under tremendous pressureIn 1997, I made my relationship with Mr. Tang public.
A relationship that is not accepted by many people** is destined to be criticized in the spotlight.
Countless netizens ridiculed Leslie Cheung's sexual orientation, and some people said that something was wrong with him, how ugly and ugly those words were.
Originally, Leslie Cheung was a sensitive person, and when he heard these words, his already scarred heart cracked again.
During this period, Leslie Cheung had many bad thoughts, and he wanted to leave this world.
But when he thought of Mr. Tang, he gave up on this idea.
Later, once Leslie Cheung took advantage of Mr. Tang's absence to secretly look through the newspaper that Mr. Tang had hidden.
The newspapers were full of criticism of him, and foul language was full of words that hurt him.
At that moment, Leslie Cheung collapsed, and he went to the extreme.
Fortunately, Mr. Tang found out in time and sent Leslie Cheung to the hospital, which saved a life.
At that time, the doctor told Mr. Tang that Leslie Cheung was suffering from severe depression and should always be concerned.
Since then, Mr. Tang has not dared to leave Leslie Cheung for a moment, for fear that something will happen to him.
But fortunately, Mr. Tang did not leave him, and has been silently taking care of and comforting him.
In this way, Leslie Cheung persevered.
But the bumpy things will not pass so easily.
In 2000, Leslie Cheung prepared a world tour concert.
He wanted to give his fans a visual feast, so he prepared everything from the dance to the lighting.
He also specially found a foreign stylist to create a very dazzling and different costume for himself.
At the time, he wore long hair and was wearing an angel outfit.
At that moment, Leslie Cheung felt that he was very beautiful and free.
However, what people didn't expect was that as soon as Leslie Cheung's look was released, it was accused by countless people of being ugly, and some people even used sharp words to say that his style was not like what men wear.
This sentence is nothing more than a denial of Leslie Cheung's professional attitude, and it is also a denial of his love to fans.
At that time, Leslie Cheung was already sick and couldn't accept the stimulation of the outside world.
At this moment, it directly poked Leslie Cheung's sore spot.
In 2003, Leslie Cheung jumped from the fitness center on the 24th floor of the Hong Kong Oriental Culture Hotel and died at the age of 46.
On that day, the entire entertainment industry was crying.
They felt sorry for their brother Leslie Cheung and shed tears for his tragedy.
Time has passed, and now Leslie Cheung has passed away at the age of 19.
When the generation of superstar Leslie Cheung is mentioned again, countless people in the entertainment industry express their nostalgia.
Looking back on Leslie Cheung's life experience, in fact, it was not just depression that led to his tragedy.
There is also a family that has been estranged since childhood, a bumpy and complicated love, and a family relationship that has just been relieved and separated.
Many people say that the pain of people with depression lies in being too attached to themselves.
If you think about it, it does.
In this world, many people are very obsessed with fame and money, and they are so persistent that they do not hesitate to give up everything.
But you know,People originally came to this world with nothing, and they will leave with nothing, so clinging to themselves brings only pain.
What is the most important thing in a person's life?
It's life, it's people's hearts.
To borrow a quote from a reader:The fate of life is different, the flesh and blood are thick, the rich and the poor are all fateful, and the virtue is content to win!
I hope there will be more kindness and less malice in this world.
The world does not treat good people badly.