One.
Saw such a question the other day. Why is it that the poorer and more backward places are, the more patriarchal they are, and the more the bride price the woman asks for when she gets married? There are two couples around me, who have been in love for several years, but when they were about to get married, the bride price collapsed and they went straight to goodbye. Cases such as bride price and preference for sons over daughters seem to be particularly serious in rural areas. There are also in the city, but the situation is not serious.
It's like some people don't understand why some families are so poor that they have to have a son. At the time of family planning, most of the workers in the city had only one child. Because of the violation of national policies, most of them were laid off directly, and there was a queue behind those who wanted to take your place. But there are still several children in the countryside because there are no jobs in the countryside. You can prevent him from working in a state-owned enterprise, but you can't let him not farm. The rest of the house stuff isn't worth much. Most of the workers in the city also want to have a son, but they know that it is more reliable to have an iron job than their son.
Why do most rural areas say that there must be a son in the family?Because the countryside is an ethnic group, it is the legacy and epitome of the feudal system, and most of the villages are the same surname. Moreover, most of the homestead and land are reserved for men, and women are married out and cannot be obtained. The most important thing is that when the law is not perfect, there is a rush for water and land, and fights to intimidate others, and most of the heavy work needs to be done by men. In terms of physical strength and momentum, men have an advantage over women.
Two. In the city, there is an industrialized and commercial society, and the legal system is less affected by human feelings. Most jobs, such as white-collar workers in office buildings, do not require physical effort. Women are paid the same wages as men in these positions. And the house and the car, whoever buys it is who's whom. Unlike rural land and homesteads, it is divided by population, but mostly by male population.
So, that's why rural women have to study hard and go to the city to work. Because boys at least have houses and land in the countryside, what do women have to stay in the countryside?Boys are not good at studying, even if they go to move bricks, they have more strength and earn more than girls. Girls are not good at studying, and they can most likely only work as waiters. These jobs cannot be compared with the slightly technical jobs such as cooks, electricians, welders, and numerical controls. Some jobs seem to be skilled workers, but in the end, they still have to fight for physical strength.
So that's why rural people prefer sons over daughters. Because his son is not good at reading, he still has the strength to learn a little bit of technology, and he can finally provide for his parents to support his parents. And my daughter is not good at reading, so she can only go to serve dishes or work on the assembly line. After getting married, I can only be a housewife, and then work hard to have a son and gain a firm foothold in my in-law's family. In their view, women are not profitable to marry, or the money they earn can barely cover the living expenses of a small family.
Three. At the same time, women are married and have no time to take care of themselves. I have to take care of my children, and I usually live with my parents-in-law. If you marry far away, you can't count on it. In their opinion, giving birth to a daughter and raising it so big, whether it is money or time, can not be counted on when providing for the elderly, it is a loss-making business. You tell them that you can study, you can go to work in a big city. They will tell you that your daughter will earn money and become someone from another family, etc.
This is what is said in the political class, the productive forces determine the relations of production, and the economic base determines the superstructure. The productivity of rural areas determines that men have a greater physical advantage, and the physical advantage of men makes it easier for them to obtain a certain economic base, and at the same time, they also have more houses and land resources than rural women. Therefore, the preference for sons over daughters in rural areas is more of a practical factor. The most important thing is that there are no women's property resources in rural areas, such as the ability to divide land and have their own homesteads. And that environment dictates that there are no suitable employment opportunities for women.
Therefore, the change of patriarchal thinking depends on the progress of science and technology. In Western countries, the industrial revolution was earlier, and women entered the workforce earlier, so their patriarchal mentality is not as serious as ours. There are more job opportunities for women in cities, especially in big cities, so the preference for sons is not serious. Because women work the same and can provide for their parents in the same old age.
Four. And the more economically developed the place, basically do not pay much attention to the bride price. This is because women's access to education, inheritance of their parents' property, and promotions and salary increases at work are almost equal to those of men. They don't rely on a bride price to support themselves. And rural areas, especially poor areas. Access to education is given priority to men, for example, only one child can go to college, and boys must go. As for property, there is no property in the countryside. The only land and houses must have belonged to the elder brother and the younger brother. Employment, there are almost no good job opportunities, just to subsidize the family.
At the same time, they may also be forced by their in-laws to have a son, and there is nothing after the divorce. The original family can't give support, and the education is not high and I can't find a particularly good job. The house on the side of her in-law's house, she only has the right of residence, and the nominal person is not her. At this time, they can only ask for a bride price to give themselves a guarantee. In case you are forced to divorce, at least you have a sum of money in your hands with your children, so you won't be too depressed.
At the same time, because low-level women are unable to support their parents in providing for the elderly, some bride prices are directly taken by their parents to support the elderly or subsidize their brothers and sisters. The parents received the bride price, and the pension has nothing to do with the daughter. During the New Year's holidays, my daughter is only responsible for taking a little gift to visit. This is also the reason why some places are poorer and more likely to have sons, and they are particularly patriarchal, which can easily lead to too outrageous bride price.
Five. Having written so much, in fact, regarding the issue of patriarchy, my mentality has calmed down a lot in recent years. At least I won't complain about the relatives who urged me to have a second child and wanted me to have a son. I don't care about the unfairness of my parents, and I know that my husband is not exempt from vulgarity. But these are more historical issues, problems of the productive forces and production relations of that environment. It's certainly not appropriate to just complain about a certain group of people or a certain person.
But I don't complain about the family of origin and the preference for sons. However, some boys are still complaining about the bride price, but they do not talk about the historical reasons under the feudal system and the real plight of women in poor areas. At the same time, I avoided the issue that many people like sons and are unwilling to have daughters. And when family planning was born, many baby girls did not have the opportunity to come into this world at all. Just blindly complaining about the bride price, complaining that it is not easy to marry a daughter-in-law, is this really appropriate?
Why is the problem of patriarchy and bride price not so serious in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai, because it is the most developed area in the country. Why is the Northeast not serious, because the Northeast is the first industrialized region, and the employment rate of women is almost the same as that of men from the beginning. There are many state-owned enterprises, which has also led to the smooth implementation of the one-child policy. It seems that the status of women in Sichuan is also relatively high, but since ancient times, the embroidery of Shu in Sichuan has been difficult to buy, and most of the people engaged in this profession are women. In Fujian, there are many wealthy businessmen in Chaoshan, and there is a strong clan atmosphere in business or like family marriage, and most of the right to speak is in the hands of men. As a result, the place is generally wealthy, but it is still not exempt from vulgarity.