How can we make life better?
There is a high praise answer on Zhihu: "Wake up as soon as possible, so that you can find your own direction and live the life you want!".”
The most difficult thing in life is not to work hard, not to struggle, but to make the right choice.
Awakening is undoubtedly a prerequisite for making the right choice.
As the writer Zhou Guoping said: "Among all forces, the most indispensable inner power is awakening." ”
Once a person is enlightened, his cognition has awakened, and even if he falls to the bottom, he can eventually go straight to the clouds.
What does it mean to be awake?Let's take a look at the following items:
Would you be happy if the leader praised you a few words?A colleague said you behind your back, are you angry when you hear it?
If you are still troubled by these problems, it means that you have not yet "woken up".
Of course, you can't be blamed for that. This idea has been around for a long time.
All along, our education has been about teaching us to gain the approval of others.
When we were young, we got high marks in exams, and you were very happy when our teachers praised us and our parents praised us. When your classmates say bad things about you, you get angry, and some of them will beat up with people impulsively.
Many people's values are based on the recognition of you by others. What's more, some people live in self-proof all their lives.
It is not others who really determine our worth, but ourselves.
What kind of person you are and what kind of person you want to be, you know best.
Other people's evaluations are more or less subjective and personal.
I like a sentence from the writer Sanmao: "Your various annotations to me do not constitute one-ten-thousandth of me, but you are yourself at a glance." ”
So,Not caring about the evaluation and recognition of others, and being brave enough to be yourself is the most sober way for a person to live.
I used to be a person who didn't know how to say no. The work arranged by the leader is always completed conscientiously and responsibly;Please of my colleagues, I also try to do it.
I naively wanted to get along with everyone and make everyone like me.
Sometimes, I refuse others because I can't help, but when I see others embarrassed, I will find a way to overcome the difficulties and help my friends.
However, my enthusiasm did not get good results. Instead, it became a reason for others to hurt me.
Because, the cost of hurting me is the least.
really responded to the sentence: "People can't teach people, but things teach people will." ”
Since then, I've awakened.
People can't be without temper and can't be blindly kind. At the same time, we should be kind and sharp, not to hurt others, but to better protect ourselves.
Remember: not all people are worthy of your kindness.
Do what you have to do, and if reasonable, help each other enthusiastically. Unreasonable requests, resolutely refused.
Don't expect everyone to like you, it's impossible and there's no need. It's okay to like yourself, life is your own.
In the past, I was very envious of "exquisite" people, and I felt that to be a man was to be as capable as them.
Only later did I discover the cruelty of the truth:
Some people can really say beautiful words praising you in front of you. Of course, her praise also has a purpose. But as soon as she turns around, she will purposefully say a lot of detractors about you.
Such people are not unique to TV dramas, there are many of them around us, but you just don't pay attention to them.
Because, sincere people always think that others are as sincere as themselves.
Actually, many people are not like this, especially those who are all kinds of people.
Praise and slander are important for them to deal with others and achieve their own goals".
Since then, I no longer envy and disdain to be such a person.
I was no longer blindly swayed by these words, but I learned to think about the purpose of what they were saying them for.
If you're like me and don't want to be like them, then stay away or you'll get "hurt" one day!
Li Xiao said: "There are three major pitfalls in life: first, inexplicably join in the fun;Second, the impatience of the fire is in the flow;Third, I broke my heart for others. ”
The world is your own, and instead of breaking your heart for someone else, you should enjoy being alone and focusing on your own things.
The way you are now determines your future state.
Enjoy being alone, reading, meditating, developing hobbies, improving your skills, exercising, and managing your day well, and you will meet a better version of yourself in the future.
In the past, I liked shopping very much, and I also enjoyed the process of shopping, and when I got something, I would also experience the joy of harvest.
Later, I found out that these pleasures were short-lived and superficial.
No matter how nice you dress, so what?At most, others just look up to you.
Only when a person has knowledge, value, and deeds can he get the respect he deserves.
People who are poor in their hearts, because of their narrow vision, only know how to pursue desires, and delusionally want to fill their emptiness with material desires, but they don't know that they end up falling into the "ravine of desire".
And those who really have a pattern, a realm, and an abundant spiritual world, what they want to pursue is their own value and true happiness.
Gradually, I began to lower my desires, tried to live a minimalist life, fell in love with reading, and also tried to write, exploring both inward and outward.
I found that my abilities were constantly improving, and my horizons were constantly broadening: life can still be lived like this!
I feel like my life is full of possibilities, and every day is full of energy ......
As the psychologist Carl Jung said, "He who looks outward, sleepwalks;Like the inward-looking person, awakened. ”
In 2023, my favorite book** is "Distant Savior".
The biggest takeaway from reading this book is that only by getting rid of the "waiting" mentality can we achieve true freedom and become strong.
In life, don't always expect others to care about you and take care of you, you are your own master, and taking care of yourself is the most important thing.
Emotionally, you can't "wait and ask", always ask others to meet your "emotional value", and no one will always be your "emotional trash can". You have to find ways to enrich your life and make yourself happy.
At work, we can't "wait for what we need", and when we encounter difficulties, we have to find ways to solve them. If you can't solve it, take the initiative to ask for help. With each difficulty solved, your abilities will improve by a large margin.
Never expect that people who have been doing light work and doing nothing are doomed to be worthless.
When you have value, what you are pursuing will naturally come to you "naturally".
In this world, there are no people who everything goes well, only people who experience "pain" and do not cry out about pain.
It's normal to be unhappy. It is not possible for everything in life to come according to your wishes.
You have to learn to accept and allow it to happen.
It's normal to have emotions, be aware of them, accept them, but don't vent at others, otherwise you will get a "backlash".
The best thing to do: change your mind.
The essence of your unhappiness and emotions is to see problems from a single perspective: everything has two sides, and you must learn to look at problems from multiple angles.
A true master can see opportunities in bad things and turn bad things into good things.
Happiness is not wealth, fame, or status. Although these can bring happiness to people, such happiness is short-lived.
Some people endure humiliation and burden, thinking that if they achieve their goals, they will be happy. It turned out later that the goal was achieved.
Happiness after achieving the goal is only a temporary relaxation, and it is not the same as happiness, and after a period of time you will return to the original state.
True happiness is the joy of the process and the meaning of the future.
For example, some people think that drinking milk tea and eating cake are happy, but such happiness has no future, and will only bring obesity and a variety of diseases to the body, can this still be considered happiness?
Whereas workouts are different. Exercising consistently, not only will you get endorphins, but in the long run, you will also get a better body, which is an important way to make us happy.
It's the same with learning. Many people think that learning is very hard, but in fact, we can also make learning "not bitter".
That is to learn positive feedback, tell yourself the meaning of learning every day, learn to see the progress of your own learning, experience the fun of overcoming difficulties, and feel the improvement of your ability.
Therefore, there are many ways to achieve true happiness: keep a gratitude journal, keep studying, read, write, ......
Importantly,Learn to experience the joy of the process while also recognizing the positive significance of this activity in the future.
There is such a sentence in "The Ordinary World":
Everyone has a period of awakening, but the sooner or later of awakening determines a person's fate. ”
Once a person begins to awaken, he will have a deeper understanding and experience of life and life.
Unconsciously, we are approaching the end of our years, and I hope we can all awaken in our cultivation and live our own wonderful life with a calm and peaceful heart!
Start planning for my 2024