Stefanie Sun sang in the song: "What I miss is to say everything, what I miss is to dream together, and I miss the urge to love you after a quarrel." ”
In marriage, I am afraid of quarrels, and I am afraid of not quarrelling.
Afraid of quarrels", because quarrels can warm up feelings and cool down feelings. People who can quarrel are valuable after quarrelling, and those who can't quarrel can only have problems that have not been solved and hurt their feelings.
I'm afraid of not quarrelling", it's just that I'm afraid that the marriage is relatively silent, and it's a cold war with each other, and I don't even bother to quarrel. Such a marriage is just an empty shell.
In Predecessor Raiders 3, Meng Yun and Lin Jia quarreled over trivial matters. After the argument, they went to their respective friends to confide in. When a friend asked the reason for the quarrel between the two, the two replied: Meng Yun said "forgot", and Lin Jia said "I don't remember".
Sometimes it's like this, arguing and arguing and not knowing what to argue for. One problem after another, mixed with some old accounts, the original problem was not solved, and even the reason for the quarrel was forgotten.
In marriage, we fight to solve problems and improve the situation, not to make it worse. Therefore, when you quarrel with a man, you must grasp these three principles to achieve a win-win situation.
When arguing, both of them are angry, and they both want to vent their emotions as soon as possible and tell each other their truths. As a result, there will be a phenomenon where two people rush to speak, but they don't listen carefully to each other.
In fact, as long as one person is willing to "shut up" at this time, wait for the other person's emotions to vent, and explain all the theories that he thinks are reasonable, then his emotions will gradually cool down.
We all know that it's not easy to solve problems when you're emotional. If you are quick to speak for a while, it will backfire, and the more you talk, the more angry you become, so it is better to be silent first.
When the other party finishes expressing his emotions, you at least have clarified the context of this matter in his heart, and you have also figured out his thoughts.
At this time, it is easier for the other party to accept it if you express your views calmly. At the same time, you can also find some breakthrough points in his words, and fill him and ** him in a gentle way.
We want to pinch a man in a quarrel, not to stand on a high place and look down, but to look at each other levelly, and understand and empathize with a woman's unique gentleness, so that the other party can really not do without you.
Intimacy", arguing is regarded as a compulsory course for intimate relationship run-in. A good quarrel is actually a meaningful thing, it can repair the loopholes in the emotion, take precautions, and prevent the slightest problem.
Usually, a matter has reached the point where it needs to be resolved through a fight, then most of this emotion has been accumulating for a while.
Many people don't quarrel, they just want to release their dissatisfaction with their other half and their disappointment in marriage through quarrelling.
But they forget that quarreling is a way to let the other party understand themselves better and find a balance between each other to solve the problem.
There will be some disharmony in everyone's marriage to a greater or lesser extent, and no one dares to say that their emotional path is smooth sailing.
Therefore, encountering problems and solving them is the only way, and it is also the best glue for two people in marriage.
If a woman wants to grasp a man's heart, she must understand what the original intention of the other party is to quarrel. Learn to quarrel well, so that you can know how to solve the problem in this quarrel and how to get the maximum benefit.
Quarrels are not for hurting each other's feelings, not for blurting out bad words and accusations, not for who oppresses whom. Men usually have a good face and eat soft rather than hard. No amount of "you should" is worth a "I understand".
No two leaves are the same in this world, and it is impossible for people to think in the same way. If you have different ideas, you will quarrel, and if you don't agree with you, you will be estranged.
Husbands and wives are the closest people, but they are also the ones who quarrel the most. Two people get along day and night, maintaining a family together, and those trivial and complicated, work and pressure, all impact everyone's nerves.
In "The Bottom Line", his wife Li Xiaole wants to go out to work. For so many years, Li Xiaole has always been in charge of children's education, and her sudden letting go caught Fang Yuan off guard, and he couldn't accept it in his heart for a while.
Fang Yuan looked down on Li Xiaole's career and wanted his wife to focus on her children. Li Xiaole also fought back, accusing him of being a judge for so many years and having been at the deputy section level, and he couldn't take care of his family with less money and more work.
In the end, the two parties released cruel words and went to the Civil Affairs Bureau for a divorce tomorrow. Later, under the persuasion of others, the two people each gave each other steps.
Although Li Xiaole said that Fang Yuan should quit his job and become a lawyer who could make money, he was supporting Fang Yuan's work in action, because through quarrels, she knew how persistent and loving Fang Yuan was to his current job.
And Fang Yuan also realized how hard his wife had worked for so many years. He is no longer the same as before, he is only busy with work, leaving the responsibility of taking care of his family and children to Li Xiaole. He began to attend parent-teacher conferences with his children and took the initiative to do household chores.
This quarrel was effective.
Whether the person next to the pillow loves you or not, in fact, after a quarrel, it can be seen best. Love or not to love is not about what you say, but what you feel is the best answer.
Lin Yutang preached in "Quarrel and Art": "Some quarrels tear their faces at the end, and some quarrels end with a smile." ”
Quarrels between husband and wife are really an art. Quarrels in marriage are often just a matter of perspective, not right and wrong. When two people quarrel, they must be both reasonable and intercede.
Don't speak ill of each other between husband and wife, win quarrels, and lose marriage. People who don't quarrel will disperse the more they argue. People who can quarrel, the more noisy they are, the more they love.
end-
The world is so big, thank you for seeing me!
Text|Wei Wei'an: The pen has a temperature, a voice for love, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together].