From the former me to the current me, why did I choose to disguise in front of you?

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-01-31

Occasionally, you'll look for me, contact me, and your sudden appearance will still tug at my heartstrings. It's been so long, and you still have a way of making ripples within me. It seems that time has not really separated us, and the emotions between us are still alive, just hidden in the dust of the years.

Once I was, like pure white paper, dyed with colorful colors by your appearance. Your smile is like sunshine and warms my whole world. I revel in the stars in your eyes and indulge in your soft words. At that time, I was always lost in your fantasies, turning all my dependence on you into moving poems. But now I seem to have learned to disguise you.

I no longer have all my heart for you, and I no longer show a burning passion for you. I smile at you, but I've mastered the best camouflage skills. My smile may seem quirky, but it hides endless banter. You can't feel the waves in my heart, you can't read my unpredictable emotions. Neither hot nor cold, neither salty nor bland, I am like a plain flat land, without ups and downs.

Those cheap tears have long since disappeared in the smile on the corner of my mouth. I will not let you see my vulnerability again, I will not show my helplessness in front of you. I am no longer the lamb that you lead, I have matured and become strong and fearless. You have withdrawn from my life, but I have been relieved from your shadow. Now I don't need your care anymore, and I don't crave your hugs anymore.

However, when you gently say, "You've changed." My heart trembled slightly. Is this your true self seen in my disguise?Is there a corner of your heart that still longs for me to be who I once was?I can't help but reflect on the bits and pieces of the past, those good memories and endless pain entangled.

Yes, I've changed. I used to be persistent and fearless for you. But now I have a different way to face you, to face the story between us. No more letting yourself get caught up in it, no more blindly hoping for your memories. I learned to face the ups and downs of life in stride, and I learned to bear the tribulations of life on my own.

My change does not mean that my love for you is less, but it means that I am more responsible for myself. When your sudden appearance re-opens my heartstrings, I choose to soothe the slight turmoil and respond to your memories with a bland treat. They are no longer the whole of my life, but the scenery that I can't go back to.

Occasionally, you'll come to me and contact me. But I'm no longer who I used to be, and I don't want you to show up, even for a second. My heart has flown freely between heaven and earth, and is no longer trapped by your thoughts. I don't need your support anymore because I've become a strong and independent person.

You may be my guest in this story, but for me, you are an indelible memory. I won't shed those cheap tears anymore, because my smile has taken on a happy tone. I don't need your company anymore because I've learned to face the ups and downs of life alone. I hope you can understand that my change is not a resistance to you, but the best care for your heart.

So when you gently say, "You've changed." I smile and respond to you, "Yes, I've changed." Get better, get stronger, get happier. ”

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