In her later years, the focus of Zhang Ailing's life was not on writing, researching, or traveling, but on the arduous struggle against lice.
Walking on thin ice in his later years: 180 moves in 3 years.
According to Lin Shitong, the executor of Zhang Ailing's will, she moved an average of once a week for three and a half years, from August 1984 to March 1988. This seems to be an exaggeration, but according to this frequency, Zhang Ailing has moved more than 180 times, almost hitting the Guinness World Records. In a handwritten letter to the literary historian Xia Zhiqing, she wrote: "In the past few years, I have been busy moving in the morning, busy seeing a doctor in the afternoon, and often missing the bus when I come back in the evening. Even if Zhang Ailing doesn't move every day, the frequency of moving is far beyond the imagination of ordinary people.
Eileen Chang moves so often just to avoid what she thinks is a flea from South America, almost invisible to the naked eye but with tenacious vitality. She carries her rudimentary luggage with her, and if she finds fleas in her shelter, she will leave immediately. In 1991, she wrote to a friend: "I spend $200 a month on pesticides" and "one can in the cupboard." This frequent relocation and extreme fear of bugs is clearly an obsessive-compulsive disorder, a pathology.
Life is a beautiful robe crawling with lice."
At the age of 17, Zhang Ailing once said: "Life is a beautiful robe crawling with lice." Such words are full of horror for a girl in the prime of her youth. However, it seems to have become a portrayal of her life. Zhang Ailing has long seen through those men and women who are shuttling through the prosperity of the world, their gorgeous appearance hides the dark diseases of human nature, and there are tiny but stubborn "lice" hidden in their souls, greedily and quietly gnawing on their true temperament. In "Love in a Fallen City", Bai Tassel knows that Fan Liuyuan will not regard her as his only love, but in order to marry a decent rich child, he has to use his remaining youth to fight for the last time. Greed makes them lose the courage and strength to remove the "lice" in their hearts, and they can only watch themselves being devoured.
Be famous as soon as possible": the price of pursuing fame and fortune.
Zhang Ailing once said a frank and almost "shameless" famous saying: "Be famous as soon as possible." This was in 1944, and she was advised not to publish it in some publications in Shanghai at that time that had an affair with the Japanese army and the Wang puppet regime**, but her answer was: "You should be famous as soon as possible, if you come too late, the happiness will not be so happy!".At that time, most of the Chinese intellectuals and writers lived in the southwest, some for the propaganda of the Anti-Japanese War, and some wrote silently, but at the same time, Zhang Ailing couldn't wait to be "famous". However, life is unpredictable, and the more a person wants to get something, God may not let him get what he wants. Zhang Ailing may be famous "early", but it may not be "happy".
Step by step into a place where there is no light".
Someone once asked Hemingway "what are the conditions for the growth of a writer", and Hemingway replied that it was "an unhappy childhood". This sentence also seems to apply to Zhang Ailing. However, Hemingway's words are only halfway there. If a writer is not able to gradually move beyond the personality defects caused by the misfortunes of his early life as an adult, such misfortunes can destroy the writer. Zhang Ailing never completed this transcendence in her life. This once beautiful woman, like many of the women she wrote, gradually declined and gradually withered. When she spends long days and nights in a lonely and desolate apartment, people can't help but think of Cao Qiqiao, who "walked step by step into a place where there is no light".
The Shadow of Old Life: Wrestling with the Demons of the Heart.
In the last 20 years of her life, Zhang Ailing showed more and more obvious mental illness. She has become cold to people, her life has become increasingly closed, and she buys and throws away furniture and clothes. In this way, she gets rid of the emptiness and loneliness in her heart, but the "lice" that have been lurking in her heart for many years finally become a real enemy and launch a final offensive against her. During her last 23 years in Los Angeles, she traveled from hotel to hotel, carrying only a few plastic bags with her ...... to avoid the little things that scared her
Finale: A bleak goodbye.
On September 8, 1995, Zhang Ailing died in her Los Angeles apartment at the age of 75, and was only discovered seven days later. The room was empty, there was no bed, so she lay on the carpet, unclothed, covered with a thin blanket ......How ironic and sad it is that a life that was once beautiful and infinite is withering in the most bleak way!
The struggle of later life: Eileen Chang's struggle with lice.
Through the description of Eileen Chang's later life, this article reveals the hidden hardships and struggles behind this literary giant. In her later years, Zhang Ailing not only had to face frequent moving life, but also had to fight against the demons in her heart - lice. This seemingly absurd struggle actually reflects the ups and downs and hardships of her life. What price did she pay on the road to fame and fortune?How did loneliness and mental illness in her later years push this talented woman into endless darkness?Through this story, we may be able to more deeply understand the changes of an era, as well as the vicissitudes and perseverance of a literary giant's heart.
Zhang Ailing's later life, like her **, is full of irony and tragedy, and has become an embarrassing story in the history of literature. The essay profoundly depicts her struggle with lice, as well as the absurdity and bitterness of her later life. Zhang Ailing's brilliant achievements in the field of literature seem to cover up the helplessness and ups and downs of her personal life.
First of all, the article focuses on the life of Zhang Ailing who moved frequently in her later years. From the staggering number of moving an average of one house per week, we can sense the depth of her fear of lice. This abnormal frequency of moving is not only incredible, but also exposes Zhang Ailing's obsessive-compulsive disorder and pathology deep in her heart. Perhaps, this frequent relocation is an escape from inner troubles, an attempt to get rid of the psychic bugs by changing the environment.
Secondly, the article shows her deep insight into human nature by quoting Eileen Chang's famous saying, "Life is a beautiful robe crawling with lice". This metaphor not only reveals her view of the attitudes of the people in society, but also reflects her unique recognition of the complexity of human nature in her personal experience. In her **, the characters are often plagued by desires and dilemmas, and this may also be a portrayal of her own deep suffering from lice in her heart.
Then, the article talked about Zhang Ailing's pursuit of fame and fortune, especially her frank statement that "you should become famous as soon as possible". This may reflect the difficult situation of the literary world of her time, but it also shows her desire to succeed. However, fate's mockery of her did not make her feel happy in Vanity Fair. This description not only shows Zhang Ailing's persistence and stubbornness, but also makes people think about the meaning of the definition of success for a person's life.
Finally, the article ends with the bleakness of Eileen Chang's later years, emphasizing her loneliness and mental illness in the final stage. She is no longer the literary superstar with infinite beauty, but a woman who spends her old age in loneliness. Her struggle with lice became a symbol of her lifelong struggle and escape from inner pain. This ending is deeply regrettable, and it also makes people think about whether we will lose our inner peace and peace in the process of chasing our dreams.
Overall, the essay shows the multiple facets of Eileen Chang's later life through vivid and detailed descriptions. The ups and downs of her time, the twists and turns of her personal life, and her long struggle with inner troubles are all vividly presented in this essay. Through an in-depth analysis of the life of this literary giant, we may be able to understand more deeply the stories behind her works, as well as the ups and downs in her personal life.
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