Although there is no continuous melon-eating essay incident, when I see many people saying that Yu Minhong has made Dong Yuhui suffer a loss, or that he has treated Dong Yuhui badly, I still have a lot of emotion in my heart. There is no right or wrong emotion, just some thoughts and feelings that emerge. After the promulgation of the double reduction policy, New Oriental faced a huge crisis, and at that time I read an article "Yu Minhong, I respect you as a man", which was very well written, and it was also decisively ** to the circle of friends at that time, because it reflected through a large number of objective facts that Lao Yu is a kind, conscientious, responsible, A responsible entrepreneur, he endured the pain of donating desks and chairs, and always kept the tuition fees refunded to parents and the wages of employees in the account, so that no one would suffer, although many people also said that this should be done, but during the epidemic, I don't know how many training schools, companies and other business places closed down, and basically ran away privately without notifying anyone, so compared to these high-probability runaway events, Lao Yu did a very conscientious and responsible job. Therefore, I have the impression that Lao Yu is a kind and good person, and he will not do anything out of line or without conscience. And Dong Yuhui, judging from his writing, conversation and performance in the live broadcast room, is also an excellent and kind person, caring, patient, responsible, responsible, and cultured people's conscience. So when these two good people were commented on by the public for a while, and they had to choose who was the victim and who bullied whom from among the two good people, I always felt weird in my heart, isn't Lao Yu kind?Isn't Dong Yuhui kind?Undoubtedly, they are two good people, but they can't get everyone's fulfillment and blessing, so they have to distinguish right and wrong, good and bad, win or lose from the two good people, and distinguish who suffers, who takes advantage, and who treats whom, and faintly feels that this kind of judgment itself is actually the biggest harm to two good people, and there will be no winners. Dong Yuhui also said that "the one who is a confidant dies", and Lao Yu also said that he would not treat Dong Yuhui badly, as for what kind of result will be achieved in the end, it can only depend on the personality interaction, mentality interaction and fate of the two. We don't care about the rights and wrongs and trends of the incident here, but just analyze what kind of social and cultural heritage is projected behind this incident
1. Monistic mode of thinking.
We have become accustomed to the narrow and competitive first-place mindset, black and white, either me or him, and the culture has to find out a bad guy and then spit on everyone, and then the matter can be solved, and then it can be considered a satisfactory mode of thinking. may arise from a single evaluation model, The evaluation system is basically a dichotomy of thinking inertia, there is no trichotomy or multiple thinking mode habits, but in fact, social events rarely have a black and white conclusion, mature people know that they can find each other's rationality and reasons for doing things from each other's point of view, so when good people and bad people conflict, comments will generally help the good people and hit the evil, but when two good people are judged together, then both sides will be hurt, and in the end there may be more parties to be more harmful. This is like the usual article "Stay away from the garbage man" wrote that if you meet a garbage man, those who have more will give in the most, because there is nothing to worry about when a person with nothing loses his life, and a person with rich resources can't be so ruthless. Therefore, in terms of **, the public subconscious can easily fall to the weak side, and together to condemn the strong side should be like this, should be like that, in short, it is necessary to make humility to the weak side and make compromises. But Dong Yuhui is also very qualified, and he has not fallen into the thinking mode of disadvantaged groups from beginning to end, but is very satisfied to say that he is glad to meet the New Oriental platform, and he is glad to have everything he has now, and in the words of his parents, he can't be ungrateful, which is a strong mentality. On the contrary, he is more anxious than him to seek benefits for him, which has the flavor of another mode of thinking, that is, a paternalistic cross-border thinking mode.
2. Paternalistic transgressive thinking.
This mode of thinking is very common, that is, parents do not regard their children as independent individuals, do not respect their children's independent thoughts and feelings, do not return the world to their children, let children make their own choices, and deal with things according to their own wishes, and have to have all kinds of moral kidnapping, conspiracy theories, sympathy, worry, to interfere and influence, and finally whether it is excessive worry, excessive care, or excessive moral kidnapping, excessive critical judgment, and excessive conspiracy theories, ......In the end, it will be a lose-lose situation. Why can't two good people be perfected?Give the world back to them and let them choose to deal with it themselvesWhatever the outcome of the discussion, one or both of the two good guys will be hurt ......At the same time, it also shows that our culture of perfection is too weak, the culture of tolerance is too weak, and the parental mindset is too strong!The habit of not knowing respect is too strong!We always sympathize with the weak in a fixed mind, but in fact, the strong also need sympathy, and it has to be done by watching two kind people go their separate ways or fight for interestsIn a sense, aren't they fulfilling each other and giving each other face?There's really no need to break out who is right and wrong between two kind people, and it's not clear who is wrong, so excessive breaking itself is the biggest harm to kindness!I really hope that the two of them can unite sincerely and twist into a rope to face all kinds of speeches and various crises, otherwise it will be the greatest sorrow, just like the story ......of grandpa, grandson and donkey that I heard when I was a childLao Yu actually said that he hoped that the public would look at this incident with a more tolerant heart. Dong Yuhui also has his own mode of thinking, growth logic and willingness to choose, but some parents stand up and think that you are not right to choose this way, that choice is not right, how should you choose!Like many parents who have to go against their children's interests, hobbies, wishes and growth laws to force their children to choose their own path?I don't think that children have their own growth laws, personal willingness and mentality, etc., they have to force the influence of compulsory care and compulsory love, parental control is bursting, and children lack a sense of freedom, these all come from the parents' crossing of the line, parents are still very tired, children are still very bitter, why bother?
3. The victim's mindset.
When the weak are bullied, they will always put themselves in the position of being hurt, even if it is a good thing, it is possible to think of the aspects that are not good for themselves, and infinitely magnify, in short, they emphasize their feelings of being hurt, there is no gratitude, no satisfaction, just feel that they have been bullied, they have been hurt, they are very pitiful, they are very worthy of sympathy, I hope to say it to more people, to win sympathy and attention. And during this period, Lao Luo often paid close attention to and commented on this matter, whether it was out of justice, rubbing the heat, or understanding personal emotions and grievances, etc., but no matter how clear his thinking was, he said that there was always a kind of dislike atmosphere, to put it bluntly, it was a victim mentality, a cognition of standing in the defense mechanism, not talking about paying, Dedication, only talk about taking, this is a typical weak mentality, egoistic mentality, lack of respectful attitude, lack of awe, and even no cultural feeling, praise and praise to everyone to take a derogatory meal, a meal of judgment, there is no lack of moral kidnapping and stealing concepts, the mouth is very powerful, all are thinking and cognitive ...... under the defense mechanismIt's too far from Dong Yuhui's comfort and civilization, and all good things should be gentle, right?Hideous, strong words, and transgressions, etc., it is difficult to give people a good and comfortable feeling.
Fourth, the culture of moderation, do not advocate the top-notch.
Many people have been influenced by proverbs since childhood: "People are afraid of being famous, pigs are afraid of being strong", "Mu Xiu will be destroyed by the forest wind", and there are many historical allusions, such as the influence of high merit and the master, etc., which will cause excellent people to be more bumpy, frustrated, and even unsafe, and cannot start and finish well. As soon as you are excellent, you will feel that you are going to be subjected to **, and you are all mindset, and it is very easy to cause mutual attraction, one is afraid, one thinks, and finally, it happens. Some people also say that New Oriental can't keep strongmen?In fact, if you look carefully, there are really not many units that can retain the strong, mainly depending on the pattern and mind of the manager, but also look at the mentality, character and wisdom of the strong. In short, it can be said that this is a microcosm of a big culture and environment, and any enterprise and any culture cannot be born in a vacuum, and there are many cultural inputs.
5. Education and culture.
Finally, it needs to be mentioned that the slow or even lagging development of social culture and civilization also sets off the failure of educationCan education improve culture and improve the level of civilization of the masses?How to improve it?What can be harmed, it should be the dregs culture that is making trouble, what do you think, welcome to leave a message in the comment area ......