I am 62 years old this year, a year apart from my wife, and we are both ordinary retired workers with a modest pension. It adds up to more than 5,000 points every month.
We only have one daughter, who stayed in Qingdao after graduating from university and successfully entered the civil service. Her husband works as a department manager in a foreign company. Due to their busy schedules, they have been married for three years and have not yet had children.
When our daughter got married, we spent almost all of our savings. They needed 200,000 yuan to buy a house, and we also bought her a car worth 200,000 yuan. Since we only have one daughter, we decided to make her wedding a wonderful one and make sure that we can proudly return to our parents' home in the future.
Suddenly one day last year, my daughter told me that she was pregnant, and I was very happy. In the first half of this year, my daughter gave birth to a chubby grandson. So my wife and I discussed and decided to go to Qingdao to visit my daughter and help her through the confinement period.
When I was ready, I called my daughter and told her that I wanted to take care of her confinement. But my daughter told me that she didn't need us because she had already found a confinement center.
At that time, I thought it was right, now young people like to enjoy it, and having children is also following the trend, and most people will choose to go to the confinement center. The service there is good and professional.
Despite this, my wife and I were worried, so we decided to visit our daughter in person. After all, this is an important event in our daughter's life, and we must witness it with our own eyes.
When we arrived in Qingdao, we found that our daughter was very happy in the confinement center, so we were relieved and stayed there for a week before going home.
More than a month passed, and we calculated that our daughter was about to go out of confinement, so we didn't give her a **, for fear of rejection. At the same time, I wanted to surprise her. My wife and I went to our daughter's house again and specially prepared a red envelope of 50,000 yuan.
But when we arrived at my daughter's house, we found out that she had hired a nanny to take care of the children at home. Once inside, I couldn't wait to hug my grandchildren, but I was stopped from them. My daughter told me to change my slippers and wash my hands before I could hold the baby.
My wife and I changed into slippers and washed our hands. However, my daughter was still not at ease, so she asked the nanny to disinfect us twice more before allowing me to take over my grandson.
I was happily teasing my grandson, and in less than ten minutes, my daughter suddenly said to me, "Don't hug me, look at the way you hold your child, will he be comfortable?".Give it to the babysitter!”
As soon as the words ended, the nanny quickly picked up the child.
Such an only daughter, when she arrives at her house, she feels left out. We would have liked to spend more time at our daughter's house to help take care of the children. But since we arrived, my daughter has treated us with little treat.
During the day, when she finishes her meal in the bedroom, I want to see her more and talk to her. But she always expelled me: "Mom, please don't stay in my bedroom, okay?"I really want to take a nap now. ”
When my son-in-law came home, he rarely communicated with us, either playing with his phone or staring at the computer. My wife and I occasionally watched TV in the living room, and my daughter thought it was too loud and asked us to turn down the volume.
The atmosphere at home became awkward, and several times my wife said that she wanted to go home, but I was worried about my daughter and the nanny I hired, so I insisted on staying at my daughter's house for a while.
Gradually, however, I found that my daughter and son-in-law didn't seem to like us staying here, and many times it gave people a sense of rejection.
One morning, just after dinner, I had a few words with my son-in-law. He frowned and shifted his body back to deliberately distance himself from me. Maybe it's because I'm not happy with my bad breath, or maybe it's because I'm old and has the smell of an old man.
At my daughter's house, none of our clothes can be washed in the washing machine. She told the babysitter: "You can wash your mother's and father's clothes by hand. ”
Another weekend, my daughter and son-in-law decided to take us to a restaurant for dinner when they were in a good mood. They ordered a pot of seafood and pig's trotters. I saw my wife holding a piece of pig's trotter with chopsticks and dipping it in the spice next to it, and my son-in-law immediately said to the waiter, "Please add another seasoning to us." ”
My daughter and son-in-law use the same condiment, while my wife and I use the other one.
There are many more small things like this, and although the daughter and son-in-law have not expressed it explicitly, it is clear from their attitude that they are dissatisfied with us.
My wife told me, "Look, we've spent so much energy and even all our savings to be here with her. But instead of being grateful for it, she only rejects us. Nowadays, young people are becoming more and more realistic!Now that she's only in her 60s, she's starting to get tired of us, do you still expect her to feed you in the future?”
Now I take a shower every two days and brush my teeth twice a day, but people still hate the smellDo not put clothes in the washing machine. What are we staying here for?”
Listening to what my wife said, I also sighed wordlessly. Maybe I've always had too high expectations for my daughter.
In the future, I won't think like that again. As people get older, the higher their expectations, the greater their disappointment. I used to have high expectations for my daughter, but now I realize it. How many of today's children would like to live with their parents?Thankfully, we have a pension and savings so we can live comfortably, stay happy, and more importantly, stay healthy.
So I told my wife, "You're right, I used to pin my hopes on my daughter too much. ”
Don't worry about your daughter anymore. She gets along so well with her mother-in-law, they have a high pension, excellent conditions, and can hire a nanny to take care of the children. It seems that we don't need to bother to help them at all. We should start enjoying our retirement, travel in style, and see the world outside. Let's enrich our old age. ”
That's right!The 500,000 yuan doesn't have to be given to her daughter. She'll ask us for help when she really needs it. Ever since we were young, we have been frugal and have never been willing to spend money to buy ourselves new clothes or other things. It made my daughter feel embarrassed. Now I can end this scarcity life and live the life I want, so that I can have some self-esteem in front of my daughter and not embarrass her. ”
My wife and I decided to sign up for a tour and it was our first time traveling. We chose Qinghai Lake as our first stop.
Sitting on the vast prairie, watching the herds of cattle and sheep, reflecting the blue of the sky in the clear lake water, I sent a circle of friends with emotion: "It's good to travel for the first time in my life!."”
Unexpectedly, not long after the release, my daughter called**: Mom, you and Dad went out on a trip?”
That's right!You said you were going to work overtime, and you didn't let us come over to stay with you. And we thought it was boring to be at home, so we signed up for a tour. Now we are financially prosperous!I wanted to give you some money to help pay off the mortgage, but seeing that you get along so well with your in-laws, they don't need us at all because of their high pension and superior conditions. So save the rest for yourself to use when you are old. At the same time, I don't have to ask you for help!”
Mom....I've never been disgusted with you!When did I dislike you. ”
Then you don't get tired of it, whatever. Happy holidays to you, and I'll see you when we get back. ”
After saying that, I hung up **.
I didn't want my relationship with my daughter to become too stiff, but this time has taught me one thing: the older people are, the higher their expectations, and the greater the disappointment. It was my fault for expecting too much from my daughter in the past.
From now on, I don't think about it anymore. It is normal for today's children to grow up and become independent, and for young people to pay more attention to their own lives and families. We should enjoy life after retirement and make the most of our old age while maintaining a healthy and happy mood.
With a sense of freshness and comfort, I continued to explore the unknown with the tour group and actively participated in various activities. Discover different cultures, landscapes and cuisines through travel. Soon after, I joined a hobby group and made some like-minded friends.
As time passed, I still miss my daughter, but I don't expect much from her anymore. We should take good care of ourselves, enjoy our retirement, and make our old age more fulfilling and happy.