Introduction:
There is an old saying: "When you get old, you are disgusted." Although cheesy, this sentence reveals the common problems of Chinese-style families. In modern society, many elderly people work hard to raise their children when they are young, but once their children form their own families, they seem to have forgotten the grace of parenting.
The following is the embarrassing situation that Uncle Li personally experienced. After the death of his wife, Uncle Li originally just wanted to live in his children's house for a while, but he was unexpectedly snubbed by his son's daughter-in-law, and when he went to his daughter's house, he was not welcomed by his mother-in-law, and finally had to return to his own small home. This experience gave him a clearer perspective on things and led him to make a difficult decision. Next, let's listen to what Uncle Li said!
From Uncle Li's statement:
I am Li Bingjian, 70 years old this year, a retired old worker, receiving a pension of 2,000 yuan a month. My wife passed away from cancer last year, leaving me alone in my hometown in Shaanxi. I have two daughters and a son, both of whom are married. My daughters are away from work and rarely come home to see me. And his son opened a small company in Beijing, and he was also quite busy.
I was alone and felt lonely and bored. There is nothing else to do every day except watching TV and playing mahjong. I wanted to move to my daughter's house and enjoy family time with them. But the daughters were unwilling to accept this, and refused under various excuses, saying that their father-in-law did not like them, that the house was too small, that they had children and dogs to raise, and so on. Their words hurt my heart and I felt like I was a burden to my family.
I had to call my son, hoping that he would understand my pain in losing my wife. I would like to move to him for a while. At first, the son was a little hesitant, but perhaps out of a sense of responsibility, he finally agreed.
The next morning, I packed my bags, took a taxi, and went to my son's house. He lives in an upscale neighborhood in Beijing and owns a spacious three-bedroom, two-living room house. He drove a luxury car and looked very stylish in a suit and leather shoes.
He greeted me warmly and hugged me tightly. He welcomed me to his house and took me by the hand and led me into the house. The room is beautifully decorated, with all the furniture and appliances, and the walls are covered with famous paintings and **. My daughter-in-law also came out to greet me, greeted me with a smile, and poured me a glass of water. She advised me not to be polite and showed me around my room. This small bedroom is located in the innermost part of the room, with only a bed and a wardrobe, no windows and no air conditioning.
She said it was the only room vacant and she hoped I could. She promised to take care of me as much as possible and told me to get some rest. With that, she left.
I put down my luggage and sat on the bed and looked around. Looking at the small, dimly lit room, I thought about the living conditions of my son's family. Even though they had a car and a house and had a good time, they gave me such a small room. I was a little disappointed, but I didn't think much about it because I wasn't going to stay here for long anyway.
After a week at my son's house, I was visibly unwell. My daughter-in-law didn't seem to like me and was polite at first, but as time went on, she always looked at me with indifference. She wouldn't let me into the kitchen or use their communal cutlery, and prepared a set of old cutlery specifically for me, claiming to be hygienic. She also limited my dietary expenses and only gave me some simple dishes and rice every day, claiming that the elderly needed a light diet to stay healthy.
As for my son, he didn't care much about me, he went out early and returned late every day, and rarely communicated with me. He said he was busy at work and had to earn money for his family.
Every day I watch my son and daughter-in-law busy, and I also feel bored. I tried to communicate with them, but they didn't want to listen to me, and they always left with a few perfunctory words.
I tried to spend more time with my grandson, but he seemed to dislike me a little bit, and often threw toys around, called me a bad person, and said that I had invaded his home. At first, I thought it was just a child's unintentional words, and I didn't dig deeper.
One day, I approached him and said, "The floor is full of toys, and your mother will be upset when she comes back, so hurry up and clean it up." The grandson responded: "You go away, your mouth stinks, mom is right, you stinked our house, why do you live in my house?".I was surprised and shocked by these words.
My daughter-in-law was busy in the kitchen, and after hearing this conversation, she walked out and said to me awkwardly, "Children have no brains when they talk, so let me not mind, just live here in peace."
I returned to my room feeling disappointed and miserable. It turned out that my daughter-in-law hated me so much, she prepared food and shelter for me alone, and even my grandson disliked my bad breath, and they regarded me as an outsider, a burden.
I thought about my daughters again, and although they didn't want to accept me, they would at least greet me and occasionally send me some clothes and gifts. I feel that although my daughters are far away, they are more filial than my sons.
I told my second daughter all this, and she persuaded me not to endure any more grievances here, and insisted that I move to her. She said that she had given the dog away and discussed it with her son-in-law, and that there was no objection to me going to live in the past, and she just wanted me to have a good time.
I was surprised, because my second daughter was the least concerned of my children, and I thought she also thought I was a burden, so I refused to go to her house. I didn't expect her to be really distressed, and after hearing that I was wronged at my son's house, she still accepted me.
I was relieved, but I was also worried about causing trouble for my daughter, and even more worried about my son-in-law's reluctance. The second daughter said that although her conditions were not very good, she heard what happened to me at her son's house in **, and she felt very sorry for me. If you feel lonely in your hometown and want to go out for a break, it's no problem to go to live with her. She has already discussed it with her son-in-law, and everyone has no objections.
Seeing that my daughter was so sincere, I decided to accept her invitation and move in with her for a while. Later, I called my son and daughter-in-law together and announced my decision, and although I was disappointed to see my son and daughter-in-law as if I was relieved, after all, he was my son, so I didn't bother with him anymore.
On the day I left, my son bought me some food and drove me onto the train. The train traveled for more than ten hours and finally arrived in Guangzhou. Guangzhou is a bustling metropolis with high-rise buildings and lively streets. The climate is hot, sunny and humid air.
The second daughter was waiting for me at the train station, recognized me at a glance, and hugged me. She said glad I came and picked up my luggage. She said she was going to take me to her house and took me to her car.
Her home is in an ordinary neighborhood with a two-bedroom house. She and her husband are both ** and work in the hospital. She said she had prepared a room and bed for me and said she would take good care of me.
When we arrived at her house, she opened the door for me and showed me my room. Although it is still a small bedroom, what is better than my son's house is that there is a window that looks out onto the garden of the complex. The second daughter has just gotten married, and although the family is small, it looks very warm.
Stayed at my second daughter's house for a month and felt very comfortable. I found that my second daughter loved me very much and always looked at me with gentle eyes. At her house, I was not subject to too many restrictions, she often prepared some delicious vegetables and fruits for me, and gave me 500 yuan a month pocket money for my health.
Seeing that I rarely go out, my second daughter encouraged me to go out more often to chat with the old man and grandfather, and also encouraged me to buy what I wanted. My son-in-law is also very kind to me, often reminding me to cut my nails more and bathe frequently. I listened to their advice and slowly adapted to life here.
As the years passed, I gradually realized that it was inevitable to share the household chores of my daughter and son-in-law. This is exactly what I look forward to in my old age, and I secretly fantasize about enjoying my family at my daughter's house in the future and leaving my savings to her.
A year has passed. My daughter was pregnant with a grandson, and I thought I would spend time with their family forever. However, unexpectedly, one day, an old woman pushed the door in and asked me for my identity. I told her that I was Xiaoyan's father and settled in my daughter's house. She gave me a disdainful glance and slammed the door shut.
When my daughter and son-in-law came back, they called me to the table, and my daughter said vaguely, "Dad, if Mom is gone, will you miss her?"Thinking about going back to your hometown?I replied, "With you by my side, I'm already doing well and adjusting to life in the big city." ”
When my son-in-law saw that I wanted to speak, he interrupted me: "Dad, here's the thing, this house was bought by my mother for our young couple." We didn't have much savings, so we received help from my mother. Now my mom says she's going to take back the house if you continue to live here. ”
I was caught off guard by these words, and asked my daughter directly: "Didn't you say that everything is fine?"I didn't expect you, like your eldest brother, to want to drive me away. The daughter hurriedly explained: "Dad, don't worry, go back to your hometown to live for a while, and when we save enough money, we can buy a house alone and take you to live in the old age." But now there's really nothing we can do about it, I hope you understand. ”
My heart was as cold as I listened. worked hard to raise three children, but in his later years, he faced the fate of loneliness. Feeling extremely disappointed and helpless, the next morning, I packed my luggage and left my youngest daughter's house silently. She kept calling me, and I picked up and just said, "Everything is fine!.""And hung up**.
After taking turns living with my two children for a while, I finally realized that it was in vain for me to raise these children. Relying on them for old age is not feasible in old age. When I got home, I decided to get a new job, even if the salary was low, and I wanted to save more money while I was still healthy. In the future, I will also choose to live in a nursing home like the people in the city.