Actor Wang Xiaochen plays a beautiful, youthful and lively, kind-hearted young stepmother in "My Physical Education Teacher", but she is quite a bit venomous. Originally, she had a little yellow-haired boyfriend of the same age, why would she rather choose a middle-aged uncle who was 20 years older than her and brought two oil bottles?said in the TV series that she felt that her little yellow-haired boyfriend couldn't give her a sense of security, and on a deeper level, his behaviors were actually related to his original family, she had no father, only a pungent capable and poisonous mother.
No matter how heart-wrenching the love story of the hero and heroine is written in the TV series, in real life, you would never want your daughter to make the kind of choice in the TV series. So what kind of family can better promote children's development?
Family and Child Growth", as a popular science work, provides us with a lot of scientific answers. It is one of the "60 Minute Mom" series by Donald Winnicott, a famous British pediatrician and master of child psychology. This book is a collection of lectures Winnicott has given to social workers, midwives, teachers and other those working with children over the years, providing a clear and popular expression of some of his core ideas, as well as the authenticity and flexibility of his work.
The book focuses on the family and shares some parenting theories and specific cases that the author has summarized by hosting 60,000 families.
01.How to do early feeding.
We still face a very serious problem in early childhood education, which is "left-behind children", these children will become a headache in the upper grades of primary school or junior high school. Teachers are helpless against these students, parents are overwhelmed by such children, why did children become like this?In order to provide a better life for their children, parents work so hard outside to earn money, saving their own food, but they want to give their children the best and try their best to meet their children's needs, as long as the children study hard.
In order for the child to study well, the mother resolutely quit her job and returned to her hometown to accompany the child. After a period of companionship, my mother sadly found that even though she had made such a big sacrifice, it still had little effect. Why is that?
In fact, such failures have long been planted in the feeding of babies at birth. Many young mothers work outside the home, and after returning to their hometown to give birth to their children, in order to return to work as soon as possible, they do not breastfeed their children, only give the baby milk powder, and leave the baby to the grandparents to feed after the full month, which is very unfavorable to the establishment of the dependence of the infant on the mother in the early infancy. Because the mother is the only one who knows how to take care of her baby.
Breastfeeding is the baby's earliest perception of the object and establishes the relationship between the baby and the breast. At this time, the mother is not valued as a whole, and after a gradual process of integration, the baby's personality can become a whole. In this process, a sense of dependency begins to emerge, and therefore the need for independence arises. The perception of the mother's reliability makes it possible for the baby to produce reliable qualities.
02.How to develop a sense of security in your child.
We often see the reasons given by those couples when they break up in TV dramas: the other party is too insecure, or the other party can't give them a sense of security. Why is it that an adult is still insecure?In fact, this can be traced back to the infancy, the parenting of parents.
A child's sense of security is actually to give the child a sense of protection. How to develop a sense of security in children?It's not just about protecting your child, it's about making your child feel protected.
Parents who are able to maintain the stability of the family already provide their children with a very important sense of security.
If you look a little closely, those children in families whose parents are divorced, they will have some psychological problems to a greater or lesser extent, or they will not reach maturity when they become adults.
With a stable family and enough love and patience from parents, children can grow up well
I've seen a cartoon before, it's good to enjoy the shade under the big tree, but the small tree under the big tree can't grow well. Parents give their children enough love and build a stable and safe environment, but this hinders their children's growth.
Therefore, in a good family relationship, it is full of vitality and vitality, and it is constantly developing. To establish such a relationship, parents need to understand the characteristics of their children's psychological development at different times and grow with them.
03.How to treat your child's adolescence.
One of the main words that pervades adolescence is "rebellion". This is the most tormenting stage for parents in the process of children's growth, and it is also the most headache for parents.
My friend's child was particularly rebellious in the third year of junior high school, and there were many conflicts between parents and children, and at the worst time, the father fought against the child. After crying bitterly, the mother repeatedly taught the child, hoping to understand it with reason and emotion, but the child did not listen to it at all. It was in this ordeal that the child went to high school. When she saw her friend again, her anxiety was much better, and she said she heard a mother who had gone through her child's puberty tell her that the child would get better after the rebellious period.
When children go through a rebellious period, parents try to help them, try to understand their behavior, and then get them to accept their opinions, but these efforts are in vain.
Because you don't know, adolescent children don't want to be understood, and adults have to hide their understanding of adolescence. Because adolescence is a period that must be experienced, essentially a period of exploration and discovery by one.
There is only one way to truly achieve puberty, and that is time. What we have to do is to calm down and wait for the flowers to bloom.
In the book "Family and Child Development", the author starts from professional psychoanalytic theories and tells us to create a healthy family and promote the healthy growth of children. The theories and cases in this article can help us build healthy families and vibrant parent-child relationships.