Wen Xiaomo.
*Internet. 
It's 2024 soon, and the New Year is coming soon, and there are unmarried young men and women in the family, especially older unmarried young people, who are arranging blind dates in full swing again.
People are Xi to call older unmarried young people leftover men and women, regardless of whether they want to or not, no matter what the reason, whether they are active or passively left, as long as the woman is over 28 years old and the man is unmarried after the age of 30, it is called a leftover man or a leftover woman.
I don't like it, and I'm sure most people don't, because there's a sense of being offended, abused, ridiculed. Like it or not, it is a fact that there are more and more such older unmarried young people. And after investigation, they believe that blind date is the most reliable and effective way to know the opposite sex.
In this case, it is necessary for us to take a look at the success rate of blind dates, in my opinion, changing the three aspects of cognition determines whether blind dates can be successful.
First, change your self-perception
The general law of the marriage and love market: men like to be young and beautiful, with a gentle personality, and women like to be rich and interesting, and single-minded.
Avoiding the big rules, our self-awareness should be clear, and our needs for marriage and love should be clear.
For example: you are female, 31 years old, bachelor degree, management work, annual salary 30w, your original family grew up in the countryside, your parents are ordinary farmers, and you have a younger brother who is unmarried.
Then it is natural that you will think that education, job, economic foundation are your advantages. I want to find a male partner who has at least a bachelor's degree and earns more than you in an annual salary.
However, among the majority of 30+ men with the same education and annual salary, they think that age, appearance, personality, three views, etc. are their concerns.
Therefore, only by properly adjusting our cognition and needs can we have more choices and improve the success rate of blind dates.
Second, change the perception of blind dates
Regarding blind dates, men and women have different positions and ideas, which can also lead to cognitive differences.
If someone introduces a man to a woman, from a woman's point of view, it is equivalent to having a suitor, then she will treat the blind date as a suitor, and expect to go through the process of pursuing love, such as the perfect impression of the first date, holiday greetings and gifts, usual considerate greetings, sweet words, etc.
In the man's view, the woman introduced completely skips the pursuit of love compared to introducing him to a marriage partner, and they will communicate with women in the way they live. So it is conceivable that the final result is that the woman thinks that the man is reckless, and the man thinks that the woman does it, and they break up unhappily.
Therefore, if the man is willing to slow down the pace and be romantic according to the woman's ideas, the woman is rational and pragmatic, and understands the man's thinking, the success rate will also increase.
Third, change the perception of marriage
Marriage is a science that needs to be learned slowly Xi.
In men's perception of marriage, due to the difference in physiological structure, men pay more attention to rational analysis, and tend to solve problems and take responsibility.
Women pay more attention to emotional communication, sharing feelings and growing together.
For example, Xiao Chen, a programmer who has been on the hot search recently, only keeps 2,000 living expenses a month but his wife wants to divorce. When they were in love, Xiao Chen often worked overtime, but they were all affectionate. After marriage, the wife felt left out, especially after having a baby, due to the lack of companionship and communication, the two had a cold war, and the wife filed for divorce.
I think the essence of this matter is caused by the difference in the perception of marriage between men and women, as long as they understand each other, tolerance can solve the problem. Xiao Chen usually cares more about his wife and children, and when he works overtime, he can send a message to care about her, chat with his wife when he is free, and be more considerate of her hard work.
Therefore, if we understand this cognitive difference before marriage, and both parties make appropriate adjustments, the success rate of blind date will also increase.
In short, when we understand that there are differences between men and women in their self-perception, their cognition of blind date and their cognition of marriage, and we can think more about each other and make appropriate changes and adjustments, which can greatly improve the success rate of blind date.
Regarding the older youth, I think this is what they have to say:
I have been in a daze for decades, and in so many days when I am tired and can't even hold my head up, I really want to have someone who can understand me, work hard together, and live an ordinary life that belongs to us.
So, let's do our best.
Hello everyone, I am Xiaomo, with you ** emotional problems, improve the ability to love, be a warm and happy self, pay attention to me, and grow and learn Xi with you.