Many times, we take emotional stability as our goal in life, and we think that emotional stability is the emotion that people should have.
Don't you know that emotional stability is often because of your emotions?Not to be seenAnd the emotional breakdown in your emotions is not your problem, but these problems are all because of youNot seenThat's going to happen.
You may not believe it, but it's just the way it is.
I don't know if you've ever heard of the term emotional indifference, actuallyEmotional indifferenceis a psychological term.
Emotional indifference refers to a person's lack of ability to empathize with emotions and experience emotions and to neither understand, feel, or express them.
And people who have encountered emotional neglect are generally short-tempered, and they will ** when they encounter a little thing. It is also known as a quick temper, and it will be in trouble.
Actually, there is a reason for this.
01 The emotional pattern between you and your parents in childhood
That is to say, when he was very young, his emotional or other needs were not seen and recognized by his parents, and sometimes even if he had something, his parents did not pay attention to it, did not notice it, and did not take it seriously.
Over time, it will shut up the child.
Because they know that even if they are reasonable, their parents will not take it seriously, so they simply don't say anything to their parents, and they don't tell their parents anything.
Keep everything in your heart and don't tell anyone what you really think.
Because they think that they are not important, that their thoughts are not important, or that their thoughts and emotions are wrong.
As a result, he may listen to his parents in everything, not refute, not complain, and not express his position.
The reason why he is like this is actually to protect himself, because this way he will feel safe.
When he was young, he was very sensible, but when he grew up, he felt that the child had changed, and even for a very trivial matter, he began to lose his temper, or if something similar happened, the trauma of his childhood would beBe awakened
Because of this, they become irritable, capricious, lose their temper for no reason, and don't even want to see their parents or be with their other half.
Why is this so?
In fact, he has suppressed his emotions for too long, and because he has been too long, he will unconsciously attack himself or others when he encounters something.
This is a kind of emotional backlash, controlled by emotions, if you enter the society, do not realize these, childhood trauma will recur at this stage, so that it is impossible to identify which is your true emotion, which is the old childhood injury.
Because of this, you may always be led by your emotions and not be able to control your true emotions.
02 Your emotional pattern with your partner
Here's an example and you'll get the idea.
For example, when you find a boyfriend, when you are in love, there is a conflict, you cry and make trouble there, almost crazy, and when he sees you like this, he does not coax you, say good things to you, or hug you, but is silent, or even leaves you, leaving you to bear alone.
This is still good, and what's more, not only will he not coax you, but he will also accuse you and suppress you.
In fact, it is not loved, your emotions are not seen.
In the relationship between the sexes, if your emotions can be seen and responded to in time, the relationship between the two people will inevitably get better and better, and on the contrary, it will get worse and worse.
If you lose your temper from time to time in a relationship, don't feel naïve and immature and blame yourself, but be aware of it and see what's behind the emotion.
It could also be a hint or an outward hint of something unexpected.
If it is because of the neglect of your parents when you were a child in your original family, you can't see your true emotions, then you must first explore yourself and accept your current self, try to feel what your real emotions are like now, and try to be the master of your emotions and manage your emotions.
If it is because of the indifference of the lover's emotions that leads to an emotional outburst, then don't rush to find him, quarrel with him, feel wronged, and not be seen, but slowly try to communicate with him and understand the reason why he does this.
See if he has emotions similar to yours in it.
If it's because of his neglect, then let's find a way to correct him, let him understand your feelings, and help him change this way of getting along, so as to reduce your mood swings.
In fact, many times, none of us is a roundworm in anyone's stomach, if we have a need, just say it, tell him our feelings, emotions, when he understands, he also understands your suffering, he will also make changes, of course, you also slowly have a new understanding of him, a new understanding.
If you tell him and he is still like this, then he is really deliberately making things difficult for you, then let's not be soft, we will shoot when we should shoot, it really doesn't work, and we don't force ourselves.
After all, life is only a few decades, and you still have to love yourself.