Filial piety is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, and it is also the expectation of every parent for their children. However, with the changes in society and the diversification of education, many children's values and behaviors are different from those of their parents, and even some "unfilial piety" phenomena have appeared. These "unfilial" children have some common characteristics since childhood, but many parents mistakenly think that these characteristics are a manifestation of their children's intelligence, thus ignoring the correct guidance and education of their children. This article will analyze the two characteristics that these "unfilial" children have since childhood, and how parents should respond and prevent them.
An "unfilial" child shows disrespect for his elders since he was a child, does not follow their advice, and even refutes and contradicts. This kind of child is often self-righteous, believing that he is more sensible, knowledgeable, and capable than his elders, so he is unwilling to accept the opinions and help of his elders. They think that the ideas and methods of their elders are outdated and do not adapt to the current society and environment, so they do not need to pay attention to their words. This kind of child often makes his own decisions in school Xi and life, does not consider the consequences, does not care about the feelings of others, and only does what he thinks.
Many parents mistakenly think that this kind of child is a sign of intelligence, that they have their own opinions, the ability to think independently, the spirit of innovation, and the motivation to pursue self-realization. They feel that this kind of child has a future, potential, and hope, so they are unwilling to interfere with their choices and decisions, and even condone and support their behavior. They ignore this child's lack of respect and gratitude, as well as the possible undesirable consequences.
According to a 2023 survey by the National University of Singapore, 38 per cent of 1,000 teens aged 15 to 24 said they did not identify with or did not fully identify with their parents' values, 32 per cent said they did not often or never seek advice from their parents, and 28 per cent said they often or occasionally quarreled with their parents. These data show that there is a generation gap and conflict between many adolescents and their parents, and a lack of communication and understanding, which leads to the loss of family harmony and happiness.
A concrete example is that in November 2022, a 19-year-old Singaporean boy stabbed his parents with a knife because he was dissatisfied with his parents' refusal to let him play computer games, causing them serious injuries. This incident shocked society and also triggered people's reflection on youth education and family education. The boy's behavior is undoubtedly unfilial to his parents and irresponsible to himself, bringing irreparable harm and pain to himself and his family.
An "unfilial" child has shown indifference to the family since he was a child and is not filial. Such children tend to be selfish, only looking out for their own interests and pleasures, not considering the needs and difficulties of the family, not caring about the physical and emotional affairs of their parents, not helping the family's affairs and expenses, and even refusing or evading the family's responsibilities and obligations. They think that the family is their burden, their bondage, and their obstacle, so they don't want to have too much contact and involvement with the family. They pursue their own freedom and individuality, are unwilling to make sacrifices and compromises for the sake of their family, and do not even want to admit that they are part of the family.
Many parents mistakenly think that this kind of child is a sign of intelligence, thinking that they have their own life, their own pursuits, their own space, and their own happiness. They feel that this kind of child is a sign of maturity, a sign of independence, a sign of self-confidence, and a sign of success. They are unwilling to disturb their lives, to put pressure on them, to make demands on them, and even to give up on educating and caring for them. They ignore the lack of affection and sense of responsibility of such children, as well as the alienation and breakdown of the family that can result.
According to a 2023 report by Singapore's Ministry of Social Development, 26 per cent of 1,000 adults aged 25 to 34 said they did not contact their parents often or never, 22 per cent said they did not eat with their parents often or never, and 18 per cent said they did not often or never provide financial or material support to their parents. These data show that there is distance and indifference between many adults and their parents, and a lack of communication and care, which leads to a lack of warmth and support from the family.
A concrete example is that in December 2022, a 28-year-old Singaporean girl sent her to a nursing home because she was unwilling to take care of her mother, who was suffering from Alzheimer's, and then moved to another city, cutting off contact with her mother. This incident caused indignation in society and also aroused people's attention to filial piety and family. This girl's behavior is undoubtedly unfilial to her mother and immorality to herself, bringing irreparable harm and regret to herself and her mother.
An "unfilial" child shows disrespect for tradition from an early age and does not inherit culture. Such children often despise their ancestors and history, ignore their own nation and country, resist their own Xi and etiquette, abandon their own language and writing, and even deny their identity and roots. They think that tradition is backward, shackling, and an obstacle, so they don't want to keep it and keep it. They pursue foreign, trendy, and fashionable, so they don't want to learn Xi and inheritance. They lack recognition and pride in their own culture, as well as respect and tolerance for the culture of others.
Many parents mistakenly think that this kind of child is a sign of intelligence, that they have their own vision, their own taste, their own style, and their own personality. They feel that this kind of child is a manifestation of openness, a manifestation of progress, a manifestation of diversity, and a manifestation of internationalism. They are unwilling to limit their choices and preferences, to impose their beliefs and values, to educate them in knowledge and skills, or even to give up guidance and influence on them. They ignore the lack of cultural heritage and charm of such children, as well as the loss and impoverishment of culture that may result.
According to a survey by Singapore's Ministry of Education in 2023, out of 1,000 secondary school students aged 12 to 18, 24% said they did not regularly or never participate in activities related to traditional culture, 20% said they did not often or never read or ** books or film and television works related to traditional culture, and 16% said they did not often or never use or learn Xi languages or scripts related to traditional culture. These data show that many middle school students are not interested in and enthusiastic about traditional culture, and lack opportunities and channels for learning Xi and experience, which leads to the difficulty of cultural recognition and inheritance.
A concrete example is that in October 2022, a 16-year-old Singaporean boy who was unwilling to participate in the celebration of the Mid-Autumn Festival went so far as to make some insulting and mocking remarks about the Mid-Autumn Festival online, which caused outrage and criticism from netizens. This incident has attracted the attention of the society, and has also aroused people's attention to and protection of traditional culture. The boy's behavior is undoubtedly unfilial to traditional culture, and it is also disrespectful to himself, which has brought a bad influence and impression to himself and society.
To sum up, children who are "unfilial" have the following two characteristics from an early age: they do not respect their elders and do not follow advice; does not care about the family, does not fulfill filial piety; No respect for tradition, no inheritance of culture. These characteristics reflect not only the child's unfilial piety, but also the child's unwisdom. These traits can cause various problems and dilemmas for children and families, affecting their growth and well-being. Therefore, parents should not mistakenly believe that these traits are a sign of their children's intelligence, but should correct and educate them in time to cultivate their children's filial piety and wisdom. Only in this way can the child truly become an excellent person with filial piety, virtue, knowledge, ability, love and responsibility.
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