We often control our children strictly, punish them at every turn, and later overdo them, and turn towards pampering, doting, and sometimes we are forced to do nothing. We all know that it's not advisable to be overly harsh or pampered, and, we don't know what else to do but swing back and forth between the two.
At this time, we tend to come up with the killer weapon as an authoritative parent - punishment. Punishment does stop crying or bad behavior immediately, however, people often overlook its costs and long-term effects. Let's take a look at the impact that punishment can have on children.
1.Resentment - "It's not fair!".I can't trust adults!”
Do you remember the angry look in your child's eyes?
2.Retaliation - "This time they won, but I'll get it back!".”
Aren't you afraid that those cases of revenge on your parents with extreme actions will happen to you?
3.Rebellion – I prefer to do it against the other side to prove that I don't have to do what they ask. ”
In fact, are children really willing to rebel?
4.Retreat
a.Sneaky - "I'll never let him catch it next time".
b.Low self-esteem – "I'm a bad boy".
You cut off your child's wings and complain that he can't fly?
How can these terrible situations be avoided?Positive discipline can solve these problems.
The research of psychologists proves that only in an atmosphere of kindness, firmness, dignity and respect, learning the valuable life skills needed to have a good character and cultivating a sense of responsibility, can children have the seven skills mentioned last time and laugh at life.
To test whether a method is scientific, the following criteria can be used.
1. Whether to make children feel the value of their existence (sense of belonging and worth).
2. Whether it is kind and firm (respectful and encouraging) at the same time
3. Whether it appears to be effective in the long term (the punishment only has a short-term effect, but has a long-term negative effect).
4. Whether the child is taught valuable social and life skills to form a good character.
5. Whether it helped the child discover how capable they are (motivation, perceived personal power, and autonomy).
To be able to clearly understand this, parents need to do a lot: understand the development trend of society;Be aware of the characteristics of the child;Be aware of your character;Understand the purpose of education;Be aware of the events of the time;Be aware of your emotions at ...... time
In this way, you are likely to be kind and firm, and it is possible to achieve the desired effect on your child's education.
How to educate children well has always been a big problem for parents, and there are many books on children's education on the market, most of which are too individual, too theoretical, and too little practical, and difficult to use.
Jane Nelson's "Positive Discipline" is very systematic, professional, and practical, and very easy to use. Personnel range from 3 years old to teenage children. Therefore, I recommend that both parents and teachers read this book, and your parent-child relationship will change a lot.
Several good friends around me bought this book to read and study, because after reading this book, their parent-child relationship and family atmosphere have changed a lot. Because of their recommendation, I bought this book, and after reading it, I was very enjoyable, so I was moved to write this short article to encourage you.
"There is no parent who does not do their best for their children, but the best intentions do not necessarily bring the best results to their children." —Excerpt from Positive DisciplineTherefore, I advise you to read the book "Positive Discipline" carefully, because each of us has to deal with children and communicate with them throughout our lives, and we need lifelong learning, lifelong growth, and growth and progress with our children.
The book is only needed99 yuanFor the money of two packs of cigarettes, you can learn the parenting theory of the Doctor of Education. Why not?Currently, it has been translated into:16 languagesCirculating around the world, allowing millions of families and teachers to better educate their children. If you need it, just click on the link belowShop in storeFinish.