Doudou's mother recently shared an incident with her teacher.
Doudou, girl, second year of junior high school. After Doudou's midterm results came out, he came back and had a big fight with Doudou's mother.
I complained that when I returned to Xi on the weekend, my mother was watching TV in the living room and affected me.
Doudou's mother felt particularly aggrieved, watching TV was to watch the company's publicity materials, and she couldn't see it clearly on her mobile phone, so she projected it to TV, and the sound was already very small. And it was closed in less than half an hour.
Doudou didn't do well in the midterm exam, and blamed her mother for it, Doudou's mother thought it was ridiculous. quarreled with Doudou. accuses Doudou of not doing well in the exam, so he blames others.
Doudou was not convinced, but saw that Doudou's mother was angry. I don't dare to argue too much. But it's been almost a week since I had a good talk with Doudou's mother. It's either 'um' or 'ah', or you shouldn't hear it. Doudou's mother was so angry that she couldn't sleep well for several days.
Doudou's mother told the teacher about how she had felt recently, and her hands were still trembling with anger.
Why is adolescence so unreasonable? I gave birth to her and raised her, why should I show my face. Teacher, I haven't eaten well or slept well these days, and I feel like my mammary glands are going to be noduled by gas. ’
In fact, Doudou's behavior is indeed what Doudou's mother analyzed.
Doudou did not do well in the Xi exam, she casually grabbed her mother's TV as the reason why she did not do well in the exam, shared the responsibility for her failure to pass the exam, and vented her frustration of failing the exam on her mother in the form of attacks.
But Doudou's mother won't give an inchArguments, but letThe focus of the problem is blurredFinish.
Doudou further felt that her mother was not able to help her when she was Xi, and her mother did not understand herself, shirked her responsibilities and so on. Start and momCold War
Actually,What Doudou really cares about is that he didn't do well in the midterm exam
Doudou felt frustrated and panicked. But he can't express it, and Doudou can't see his own problems.
What is more needed now is Doudou's mother to help DoudouThere can be no denial and accusation, tooBlind obedience and connivance cannot be made, should stand up,Help your child sort out the root causes of their emotions.
The first step is to help your child acknowledge the problem
Over the weekend, Mom saw that you were Xi very serious, and Mom was very proud of you at that time. Mom also thought that you would definitely be able to do well in the exam this time, but I didn't expect that the results would not be satisfactory. Mom, like you, it's really uncomfortable.In this way, the first one shows that you are in the same camp as the child, and the second one, the mother can empathize with you and understand you.
The second step is to reflect the child's inner emotions through the language mirror
When your mother picked you up today, as soon as you left the school gate, your mother felt that something was wrong, she felt that you were unhappy, and her brows were wrinkled.Tell your child about your child's emotional performance like a mirror and help your child identify his or her emotions. When the child clarifies his emotions, he will be able to think rationally.
The third step is to rationally analyze the cause and solve the problem from the root
Knowing the child's negative emotions, after the child's emotions have calmed down, you can help the child to find a solution rationally. Turn abstract emotions into concrete actions.
A test score actually doesn't mean anything, and sometimes the time for re-Xi is relatively tight, and the direction of re-Xi may not be grasped. Before the next exam, you can listen carefully to the teacher's analysis of the key points of the exam. In addition, the exam must be the usual accumulation, thinking that you can get a good score by passing the surprise Xi a few days before the exam. This is also unrealistic.Analyze the overall idea and help the child make a Xi recovery plan. The problem is solved.
Mirror reflection is to reflect a person's image in the mirror. What parents need to do is to use the principle of 'mirror reflection' to help children see their emotions, help children find the root of their emotions, and then solve the problem.