Have you ever had such an experience?The closer you are to someone, the more dissatisfaction you seem to have. In the beginning, you were good friends who talked about everything, but as time went on, some subtle changes began to happen. The original relaxed and happy relationship was gradually replaced by some dissatisfaction and disputes. What's going on here?
In fact, there is a psychological explanation for this phenomenon. It involves the "proximity effect" and the "familiarity effect" in interpersonal relationships. To put it simply, the closer we are with someone, the higher our expectations are of them, and the easier it is to spot their shortcomings. And this accumulation of dissatisfaction often stems from a sense of disparity between our expectations of them and reality.
Imagine that when you first date a friend, you always see the good in the other person and selectively ignore the disadvantages. But as time goes on and you get to know each other better, those shortcomings that would otherwise have been overlooked begin to become apparent. Sometimes, we even have a "can't get used to" mentality about those shortcomings, thinking that our friends should do better.
Dissatisfaction doesn't just arise because the other person has done something wrong. Sometimes, it stems from our high expectations of them. When a friend doesn't behave the way we want it to, resentment can creep in.
But the problem is that the closer we are to someone, the easier it is for us to vent our emotions on them. Because we know each other's weaknesses, we often use the most hurtful words to express our dissatisfaction. This kind of behavior often hurts each other's feelings and creates a rift in an otherwise strong friendship.
So, how can this be avoided?
First of all, learn to look at the relationship with your friends rationally. Don't let high expectations become a burden. Everyone is an individual with their own way of thinking and acting. We need to learn to accept their imperfections.
Second, learn to control your emotions when dissatisfaction arises. Don't take your frustration out on your friends. Instead, you should choose the right time and how to communicate with them. While expressing dissatisfaction, try to understand the other person's position and feelings. Solve problems with peace instead of arguing and blaming.
In addition, learn to cherish the relationship with your friends. Friendship is hard-won and should not be easily given up because of some minor contradictions. Always remind yourself of the shared values and interests that brought you together in the first place. Don't forget the original intention, you have to always.
Finally, one thing to remember: true friendship stands the test. Even if there are sometimes contradictions and grievances, as long as both parties are willing to work hard to maintain the relationship, the boat of friendship will not easily capsize.
So, when you find that there is a growing dissatisfaction with your friends, you might as well sit down and have a good chat. You may find that the problem is not that complicated. As long as both parties are willing to put in the effort for each other's relationship, the friendship can last.