My surname is You, I am 81 years old this year, and I am a retired veteran cadre.
My husband died of illness 10 years ago. My son works in the communications department and is about to retire.
The daughter-in-law works as an accountant in the company, the eldest grandson is studying in the United States, and the younger grandson is in junior high school. Basically, I don't have to worry about housework anymore.
After 80, I have been thinking about a question: I am old, and I will have a serious illness in the future, how should I spend the rest of my life?
Originally, I thought about it and wanted to spend it with my son. I went to my son's house for a month and I felt very inconvenient.
One is that the two generations have different schedules.
I like that after 10 o'clock, I'm ready to rest. The two of them, either chasing dramas, or swiping their mobile phones, play until eleven or twelve o'clock in the evening, and sometimes the noise makes me not rest well.
The other two generations have not been able to eat together.
I sometimes like to eat braised pork and stewed potatoes, which are very fragrant.
They like to eat spicy hot, Mao Xuewang, and also like to eat some takeaway fashion food.
I always feel that it is unhygienic, untasty, and a waste of money.
In addition, my son and daughter-in-law and I do not have much in common, and we have different ideas in many ways.
I like the eldest grandson and the youngest grandson very much, but when the two children see me, they always hide away.
Either hiding behind his mother's back, or hiding in the room and playing with his mobile phone.
It's like my grandma is redundant.
Secondly, I'm still idle as a grandmother, I always like to do some housework under my nose, and sometimes I'm tired enough.
So I stayed at my son's house for a month, and I told him, I'd better go back
The son said, Mom, as long as you are happy, you can do anything.
I went back to the house that my wife and I bought.
My wife used to be a cadre of the management office of the office building, and I was a cadre of the Municipal Bureau of Statistics.
He's at the county level, and I'm at the section level. Both of us used to have a low salary.
After my wife passed away, my own salary was about 7,000, which was enough to spend.
Now that I'm over 80, I can't help but start worrying. What should I do when I am worried about my old age and disability?
I have three good girlfriends in the dormitory compound of the agency, one is the former director of the democratic party, the other is Lu Ping, who was a teacher in the school, and the other is Xiao Guo, a good neighbor who walks with me every day.
Internet**. The age difference between the four of us is less than ten years, and the eldest is Sister Ji, who is eighty-three years old this year.
The wives of all four of us have passed away. One of the most talked about topics now is the topic of fear of death.
The other is to talk about what to do when we are old, demented and disabled
The four of us thought about it for a while, and finally proposed: we should go to the nursing home at the foot of Fukuyama, which has better conditions, and go to the scene to have a look.
See how the elderly live in a nursing homeLook at their daily life, what is it like?
Everyone reached a consensus and decided to go on a personal trip.
Second, come to the nursing home in person
After discussing it, the four of us made simple preparations for the first night.
At eight o'clock the next morning, we brought our small bags and water glasses, gathered at the gate together, and then took the bus to the nursing home at the foot of Fushan.
Internet**. Director Wang, the office of the nursing home, was even happier to see us than to see my own mother. The little face smiled like a flower.
She hurried to report to Dean Qi. Dean Qi came, and when we saw her, she looked like a smiling tiger.
Although it is full of smiles, there is also a "fierce look" hidden on the face.
I'm thinking, maybe only such a person can be the dean, right?In order to be able to manage so many employees, to manage those all kinds of old people.
The nursing home is in good condition, with triple rooms, and each person needs to get 3,800 yuan a month.
There is also a two-person room, and each person needs to get 4,600 yuan in January.
Finally, there are the single rooms, which belong to the best conditions. I have to get more than 6,000 yuan a month.
The salaries of all four of us are not low, all around 6,000 to 8,000.
We focused on the double room. The condition of the double room is really good, the floor is very tidy, and the beds are very neat and beautiful.
We also went to the room and read their recipe for lunch meal, four dishes and one soup. There are stewed winter melon with meat, persimmon egg soup, mushu meat, scrambled cucumber with egg, rice and so on.
Director Wang said that all the elderly who can eat by themselves sit at the dining table with a stainless steel square dinner plate.
For the elderly who can't eat on their own, they have waiters to feed them.
I thought about it for a long time, and I wanted to see how the old man took a bath
I love to take a bath, I don't take a shower once every two days, and my head is like wearing a tight mantra, which is very uncomfortable.
In my spare time, I also like to write articles. I couldn't write a word without taking a shower, and I was itchy and uncomfortable.
So I paid special attention to the issue of bathing.
Dean Qi said, yes, I just arranged for a few elderly people to take a bath this morning, so you can go over and have a look.
I also said that we mainly want to see how the elderly who can't take care of themselves take a bath
In fact, I thought to myself, if I could take care of myself, I would not normally go to a nursing home.
The dean said that this is easy to do.
Then, she called Director Wang and said, "Later, you will take the four aunts to the bathroom to have a look."
The four of us sat on chairs in the corridor, waiting for Director Wang of the office to call us to see how the old man took a bath.
Third, the disabled elderly take a bath like this
Director Wang of the office sent us to a bathroom on the second floor, and she went to work on other things.
The four of us sat on a chair by the wall and saw an old man who was pushed in by the waiter.
The old man was a skinny old lady. She weighs about 100 pounds and looks very thin.
The waitress undressed her and carried her to the stainless steel shower bed and let her lie down to bathe her.
The stainless steel bed is adjustable, so you can sit up or lie down.
The waitress is skillfully bathing her. We felt like she was working on an assembly line.
The waiter's expression was very flat, tepid, not impatient, as if he was taking a bath for the old man.
In the final analysis, the purpose of their work is to earn this money.
Then came a fat old lady, who weighed about 150 pounds and was chubby.
To our surprise, she was pushed in by a tall male waitress.
Puzzled, we asked the waitress, "Teacher, why did the old lady let the waitress bathe her?"
The waitress was very talkative, still a broken mouth, and very talkative.
She shouted loudly, "Our leaders here have a rule, thin and small, and we waitress will wash them."
Because they are thin, we women can move and get dressed.
Big and fat, like this Aunt Shen, she has more than 150 pounds, and ordinary waitresses can't move her at all.
There is an old saying that the dead are dead, that is, this kind of old man who can't move.
When encountering this, it is generally washed by a strong male waiter, which is no way to do it, hehe.
She then said, "Auntie, you came to see it, do you want to enter the nursing home?"
We hummed twice and didn't answer.
Next, we saw the fat old lady who couldn't move, who was carried to the stainless steel bed by the male waiter, and began to take a bath.
Mrs. Shen is probably Alzheimer's and doesn't seem to have any consciousness.
The waitress turned her over and washed her for a while, and then turned her over to wash.
He seemed serious, with a frosty face, and there was not a smile on his face.
It makes us feel like a male doctor examining a female compatriot**.
It is no exaggeration to say that when the waiter was bathing Mrs. Shen, it was like washing an object and washing a fan of "pork".
He made a straight face, turned over and washed it, without a trace of warmth, without a trace of comfort, without a trace of thoughtfulness.
In fact, he just wanted to bathe Mrs. Shen just to earn this money.
Do you say he's not good to Mrs. Shen?Nor did it. He neither rebuked her nor beat her.
It's like mechanical labor, which makes people feel cold and unapproachable.
Seeing this, the four of us left the nursing home as if we were running away.
Fourth, our thinking
I, Sister Ji, Lu Ping and Xiao Guo, the four of us sat on the bus and didn't say a word.
We are all thinking: if we are demented and disabled in the future, can we accept being in a nursing home and having people bathe us like an object?
It can be said that we have mixed feelings in our hearts and think a lot.
After the four of us came back, we never mentioned in the compound that we went to the nursing home.
But the four of us all knew in our hearts that being bathed by a man in a nursing home was also a kind of helplessness.
Who told you not to move?Who told you not to say it?Who made your children unwilling to serve you in the bath and pee on you?
Everything is helpless. Otherwise, people say that it is difficult to get old, and it is difficult to get old.
You can move, you don't have dementia and disability, you say it's okay. It's a big deal that you find a part-time worker to help you shower.
If you are disabled and you can't do it yourself, it is very likely that you will be sent to a nursing home by your children.
Who's going to bathe you by then?How to wash?You don't even say it.
It's up to the waiters who work on the assembly line to decide.