My children are all in the way of scientific upbringing, do not rush, do not make up classes, play at the age of play, our point of view is that learning depends on stamina. "A mom proudly talks about her parenting philosophy.
In the era of "chicken babies become the trend", this kind of parenting style is indeed rare!
However, many parents are worried that "other people's children are in school, my children are playing, will the children's stamina be able to keep up with the time?".”
In fact, these two views are now the mainstream ideas of parents who are worried about their children. Let's not mention which method belongs to "scientific parenting", but we must know that there is no same leaf in the world, and in the same way, there is no one method in the world that is suitable for all children, so "scientific parenting" still needs to master the method!
What about letting children develop freely, playing at the age when children should play, and learning depends on "stamina".
Let's take a look at the actual case!
Can a child who doesn't run ahead be a preemptive strike?
In the crisp autumn of Beijing in October, Xiaoheng and his parents came to the consultation room.
It is understood that his parents graduated with a doctorate, his father worked as an executive in a well-known Internet company, and his mother was a university teacher.
Seeing this, I thought to myself, "This may be another child who grew up under the 'chicken baby' of Kochi parents." ”
But as the conversation between Xiaoheng's parents and Mr. Song unfolded, I found that the truth was diametrically opposite, but the result was "the same way"!What's going on?
In general, children who grow up under the "chicken baby" of Kochi parents will largely have too strict parents and lack of self-confidence.
However, Xiaoheng's parents advocated a learning strategy of "free growth and late development", and he still lacked self-confidence.
What is the point of today's children carrying a big schoolbag from an early age and going back and forth to various tutoring classes?His mother and I both feel that learning depends on stamina, so we hope that our child will seize the time to play when he is a child and concentrate on his studies later. His dad said this about his parenting philosophy.
Xiao Heng actually has a very fast brain, and her mother and I both came over like this, so we are very confident in his learning ability. ”
When Dad spoke, Xiao Heng kept his head down, as if what he said had nothing to do with him.
When I was a child, my grades were reasonable, but now that I am about to be promoted to junior high school, I found that Xiaoheng is slow to do things, and I don't know how to work hard, and I don't have the hard work we had back then, I hope to mobilize his enthusiasm for learning and make him confident in his learning ability. Xiaoheng's mother added her own ideas on the side.
Seeing this, we seem to understand a little:
You can learn well without making up classes, this is the consensus reached by Xiaoheng's parents!
Therefore, their way of nurturing children in primary school is to go with the flow and give children a relaxed and happy childhood;After middle school, the child's physical fitness and psychological ability to resist pressure have come up and add to the material, and the relaxation in the early stage is to accumulate "stamina" for the child.
In other words, Xiaoheng's parents choose Buddhist parenting, firmly believing that their children can be motivated and excellent without rushing.
In fact, this kind of family education is relatively healthy, but when it comes to going to school, Xiaoheng's learning state is so depressed. Parents can no longer maintain their usual calm;
Also for himself, the study life that was originally based on play was relaxed and comfortable, but now it suddenly became nervous and full of pressure, and it was naturally difficult to adapt, coupled with his performance in school was always mediocre, and finally he became less and less confident.
Look for the shining point and regain the confident "treasure boy".
Children aged 6-12 are in the contradictory stage of 'diligence' and 'inferiority' in their psychological development. During this period, if the child is able to achieve through his own efforts, he will gradually develop self-confidence. ”
If you want to change Xiaoheng's situation, mobilize his enthusiasm for learning, and establish information about his self-learning ability, you need to find his self-confidence, discover the child's potential, and guide and help the child continue to succeed.
Xiao Heng, think about it, is there any time or thing that makes you feel that you are very good or okay?Teacher Song helped Xiao Heng recall his own shining points.
It was this question that made Xiao Heng discover his shining point.
Once my father and I went to pick persimmons, and later, in the Chinese textbook, there was an ancient text, very similar to our persimmon picking, I thought it was fun, so I wanted to memorize it. Then when the teacher asked me to memorize this text in class, I was the first to raise my hand to carry it, and at that time, I thought I was very cool. Xiao Heng said with a smile, this time his smile seemed to be a little different.
Awesome!You've put in the effort and you've reaped the rewards. Do you still have such an experience?Teacher Song encouraged.
Inspired by Mr. Song, Xiao Heng found that he still had a lot of experience in achieving results through hard work. For example, English writing was used as a model essay once, he led his classmates to win the first place in the relay race in the school sports meeting, and the extracurricular public welfare activities he participated in were selected as excellent projects in the grade.
As he spoke, Xiao Heng had a lot of smiles on his face, "Teacher Song, I didn't expect that I could work hard like this and complete the task through hard work!."When I get back, I'm going to do the same I did the times I just said. "He's a little eager to take the plunge.
Self-confidence doesn't come out of nowhere, it requires children to have a successful experience as a foreshadowing. Of course, you don't have to achieve much achievement, even if it is just a small success in daily life, it will bring a certain sense of accomplishment to the child, and the accumulation of time can make the child gain enough self-confidence.
It is worth noting that children at this age should not be too demanding, but should pay attention to the small progress of the child, encourage them to achieve small progress through hard work, and become more confident when the child knows that his efforts can be exchanged for positive recognition and reward.
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