As the relationship with the counselor grows closer, the client immediately thinks of sharing it with his or her counsellor when he encounters difficulties and happy things. I hope he is happy about his achievements, and I hope he will guide him when he is in trouble.
There are also clients who want to keep in touch with the counselor outside of the consultation, which seems to be more able to have a sense of stability and security.
Some visitors will test whether the counselor will be concerned about themselves, whether they will respond to themselves, see if they are important in the counselor's heart, and contact the counselor.
Some clients forget or are embarrassed to say what they want to say during the consultation, so they send a message to the counselor outside of the consultation. For example, if you are angry with the counselor and you are not able to express yourself in the counseling room, you can ask for information and send out messages. And so on and so forth, and in any case, the visitor will try to cross this setting.
Why do you say "setup"?This is because there is usually a clause in the counseling agreement: try not to contact the counselor outside of the counseling period, except for adjusting the counseling time and crisis situations.
Many clients feel very cold and impersonal about this rule, feeling that this setting is to protect the counselor from being disturbed, and will quickly fall into some negative perceptions, such as: no one really cares about me, and the relationship with the counselor is just a monetary relationship. Counselors are reluctant to devote a little bit of time and care to me outside of counseling.
Is that really the case?
Actually, this is not the case, and such a setting is also to protect visitors.
What happens when a counsellor receives a text message from a client outside of work?It is easy for him to feel that he is disturbed, like a person who is immediately called to work overtime after work, will he be annoyed?Is it possible that he will come into your counseling with a dissatisfaction with you?If he is dissatisfied with you, will it affect his attitude towards you?Will his functions of holding, tolerance, and empathy be impaired?Like a mother who doesn't sleep well, it's likely that her patience will be almost as good as when dealing with her children. And in the end, it is the visitors who suffer from the benefits.
On the other hand, some counselors have a strong sense of helping others, just like some people love their work after work, they don't find your messages annoying, but patiently read them and reply to you one by one. How do you feel?You're starting to feel good, but what happens over time?If you go to him whenever you encounter something, your ability to solve problems on your own, your ability to contain your emotions, you may become dependent, you may become disliked by yourself. I once met a very enthusiastic novice counselor, there was a client who often texted him, he replied one by one, and after many times, the client wanted to end the counseling, and she said to him, "Every time you reply, it pushes me to death". The counselor was very confused and hurt.
Why is this so?
Counseling is not a friend-style daily chat, it requires the counselor to free up his or her psychological space for the client, and it requires the counselor's full commitment. Outside of the consultation, the counselor is doing his or her own thing, and it is difficult to quickly switch to the working state of the visitorSecondly, there is no time to fully discuss and communicate these materials, so the consultant cannot make an accurate interpretation. This can also disappoint the visitor and even feel misinterpreted......
However, some clients will still violently push this boundary, which is also a test for the counselor. The counselor may say: You can send a message, but I won't read it or replyIf I'm bothered, I'll just block your message;If that's the case, I may not even be able to see the information you sent to adjust the time, so if you are adjusting the time, then you need to call me **.
Such a statement, although it sounds ruthless, will protect the interests of both parties. Do not contact the counselor outside of the consultation so that the counselor can better help the client during the consultation room.
Psychological counseling is a professional job, and each setting is learned by the seniors through their own experience, and finally becomes a common setting in the industry. Each counselor also refers to these settings and combines their own lessons and experiences to understand their importance, and the same is true for the client. In the end, it was agreed that these settings were the basis for the cooperation between the consultant and the client, and also the protection of both parties.