When you interact and talk to people in your daily life, who do you come into contact with?Parents and children as your family become your most fundamental support group, to a certain extent, they constitute the background color of your life, from childhood to ** in the process, the family has become an important environment for us to grow up, in Winnicott's bookFamily and child developmentFrom theories to concrete cases, we see the importance of the family to the growth of children.
From this easy-to-understand text, we feel the warmth and strength of protecting children's growth and building a happy family, and the four parts constructed in the book, from dependence to independence, promotion to hindrance, as well as the classic cases of casework and school and social help, let us feel many details of children's and family life, bringing us some inspiration.
When we become adults, in the process of self-growth, we suddenly discover, what is self?How far back can it be?What's in it for us?In the first article of the author's book about the first year of life, the modern view of emotional development is explored, from our initial understanding of infants, and in the process of growing up, in the process of infants moving towards independence, the recurrence of dependence and double dependence, in the company of mothers and other caregivers, a stable self is formed, and in this process, with each person's different personal experience, each person's growth self appears different feelings and different formations.
This also allows us to understand the formation of different types of children, such as safe, avoidant or anxious, etc., which extends to the inner personality state of our adult self, and the meaning of the word love, the book says that the elements it adds to the baby change as they grow, and there is such a meaning in turn.
1. Love means to live, to breathe, to live, to be loved.In understanding the meaning of love for the existence of babies, we go to a deeper understanding of the existence of children's life development, and give our hearts an understanding and vision.2. Love means appetite, there is nothing to do here, only the satisfaction of needs.
3. Love means affectionate contact with one's mother.
4. Love means the combination of the object of instinctive experience and the affectionate touch of a complete mother;"Giving" began to be associated with "taking, taking", and so on.
5. Love means showing ownership of the mother, compulsive greed, forcing the mother to make amends for the deprivation for which she is responsible.
6. Love means taking care of the mother (or vicarious object) as a mother takes care of a baby – this is a preview of an adult's sense of responsibility.
From the importance and understanding of mothers and babies, we will probably have such a few for the function of mothers, one is the embrace of the baby's identity, which brings a sense of security, and good care, so that the sense of comfort forms the feeling of body and experience, and paves the way for the inner relaxation and comfort in the future, and for the sense of connection, it is a good ability to perceive the external reality formed in the interaction.
Based on this function, we can understand the importance of the mother to the child at the time of the baby's birth, but as mentioned in the preface of the book, the importance of the mother to the child, is there a responsibility and function of other caregivers based on this function?Rather than just feeling that these functions belong exclusively to the mother?When we understand the importance of the mother-infant relationship, will we fix the mother in such a state of responsibility, and more often give rise to more guilt and self-blame for the child's inner pain?
Infant growth is based on the overall atmosphere of the family, so the family members in the environment also have an indispensable importance to the growth of children, education is based on the whole of the family, when we better understand the overall function and the importance of the atmosphere, we will blame the individual less, and more accommodating, and really go into a state of promotion and integration, which is also worth seeing in the book for the integration factors and destructive factors in the family.
Every individual has a positive side, and this positive tendency comes from how we perceive and define her, and the role of parents in trying to build a family that benefits everyone when a child develops his or her personality through healthy emotional growth and a satisfying way. This is why we will be in the process of accompanying our children to grow up, we will say that we are also healing ourselves, those parts of childhood or growth experience that have not been reconciled, will be healed again, and the family will become the cornerstone of our growth again.
Family and child developmentLet us see more situations and principles, for children and family members, understand it, better see the inner self and heal the self, and better raise children, and children and ourselves, in the continuous exploration, learning and growth, to obtain a happy and beautiful life!