Beware of the Broken Window Effect Never be self deprecating in conversation

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-01-29

In psychology, there is a concept known as the "broken window effect". It states that if one broken window is not repaired in time, other intact windows may also be damaged. In our conversations, we should never be self-deprecating, as this can trigger a broken window effect. This effect is analogous to a house, where if one of the windows is broken and not repaired, the other windows may soon be inexplicably damaged. The environment has a strong cues and influences on a person's psyche. Whether at work or in life, we must always be vigilant and not become the broken window that is trampled on arbitrarily in the workplace. Self-deprecation in conversation is a serious broken window effect, and once you start to belittle yourself, others will start to belittle you. Some people's biggest problem is that they are not confident in themselves. It's part of human nature that what you say to yourself determines how you see yourself and how others perceive you. A confident attitude earns the respect of others, while excessive humility can lead to gains in others.

It's important to have a clear understanding of yourself. You have to know that you have a lot of potential, and although there are some things that you may not be very good at or have experience in, as long as you keep going, you will become stronger and stronger. You can be moderately modest, but you shouldn't be self-deprecating;It's okay to be self-deprecating, humorous, or sad, painful, and sad, but don't fall into self-denial. You're amazing, and you're going to get better, keep going.

Sometimes, we ignore a few small problems, which can lead to more problems.

The Tao Te Ching mentions: "Cure the disease before it happens, cure the chaos." "Only by paying attention to the first small problems and dealing with them in time can we prevent them from happening.

In dealing with provocations, it is necessary to respond in a timely manner.

Keigo Higashino once said, "There are two things in this world that cannot be looked at, one is the sun, and the other is the human heart." ”

We often say "take a step back and open the sky", which is regarded as a motto in life, but some people's "offense" is "premeditated". They try to test whether we are easy to bully and whether we have confidence.

If we choose to be tolerant, they will see us as cowardly and will become even more unscrupulous. Even those who had no intention of bullying us in the first place will follow suit.

Excessive withdrawal can evoke the "dark" side of someone else's heart. A very reasonable saying is: "If you live clearly, you will not be at the mercy of others." ”

Many people can't stand the "pampering", and the more indulgent they are, the lower the bottom line. Only by showing their confidence in time and daring to fight back can those who "take pleasure in deceiving others" restrain their behavior. To be a person who is "not easy to mess with" does not mean to be arrogant, but to have "no one shall offend me, and I shall not offend others;If anyone sins against me, I will fight back."

Contradictions should be resolved in a timely manner.

It is normal for people to get along with each other and have contradictions, and the contradictions themselves are not terrible, and it is the problem to avoid talking about them.

Some people have chosen silence and indifference for the sake of face or for the sake of the Cold War mentality. They believe that time can heal all the wounds.

However, if the existing contradictions are not resolved through timely communication, even if they are reconciled in the future, both parties will be left with a mustard in their hearts.

Small gaps may not be important, but if you have big disagreements, they can complicate matters.

Relationships are often delicate and complex. Some people may feel that they do not have a major conflict or conflict, but their feelings are gradually drifting apart. In fact, the eventual parting of the ways is usually caused by the "small estrangement" that gradually accumulates in life. As the saying goes: "The leaves are not yellow for a day, and the hearts of people are not cool for a day." ”

Getting along with people requires more care. In life, to resolve conflicts and differences, you should communicate more and speculate less, and don't think that the other party can naturally understand your mind, so as to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and make both parties get along more harmoniously.

Treat shortcomings and improve them in a timely manner.

The ancients said, "The heart is more than enough, but the strength is insufficient." ”

A person's attitude towards his shortcomings determines his future. Some people find their "shortcomings" and feel "harmless" and choose to ignore them.

As a result, in connivance, their shortcomings worsened day by day. For people who are psychologically strong, they may be able to correct their shortcomings in time when they are serious, but people who are weak in their hearts may go to the situation of "breaking the can" and thus continue to fall.

Lao Tzu said: "It's easy to keep quiet, and it's easy to prevent it." "It's often easiest to correct your own shortcomings before they're serious. Liu Bei also said: "Don't take evil as small." ”

If a person is casual about small things, it will be difficult to achieve great things. Because all the big things need to start with the little things. Only by doing the little things well can we lay a good foundation for the big things. Therefore, it is very important to find and correct your own small shortcomings in time, so that you can go further.

Deal with problems in a timely manner.

Human beings are inert by nature. In the face of small problems, procrastination will only add up to the problems. As a result, small problems become big problems.

The way a person lives every day determines the future of his life. Only by constantly being strict with yourself and constantly pursuing excellence can you live the life you want.

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