Communication is an art and a science.
In a marital relationship, it is not only about the harmony of two people, but also affects the growth and happiness of two people.
However, communication between husband and wife is not an easy thing, it requires the efforts and cooperation of both parties, as well as certain skills and methods.
Sometimes, there are some problems and difficulties in communication between couples, which can even lead to some serious consequences.
So, how can couples communicate effectively with each other?
How can we avoid or overcome communication barriers and dilemmas?
How can communication be used as a tool to enhance relationships and solve problems?
This article will take a look at this topic from the following three aspects, hoping to give you some inspiration and help.
The first aspect: the purpose and meaning of communication.
Husband and wife communication is not only to solve problems, but also to enhance relationships, share happiness, reduce stress, cultivate trust, and improve quality of life.
It's easy to say, but it's not easy to do.
It requires the efforts and cooperation of both parties, as well as certain skills and methods.
One of the most important skills is listening.
Listening is the foundation of communication, the premise of communication, and the key to communication.
There are five levels of listening, from lowest to highest: neglect, feigned listening, selective listening, attentive listening, and empathetic listening.
Husbands and wives should reach the level of empathetic listening, that is, they should feel each other's emotions with their hearts, understand each other's views with their brains, feedback each other's information with their mouths, and support each other's behaviors with actions.
Only in this way can we truly communicate, truly communicate, truly interact, and truly love each other.
The second aspect: communication barriers and dilemmas.
Couples often encounter a variety of problems and difficulties in communication, which will affect the effectiveness of communication between couples and even lead to communication failure.
So, what are the common problems and difficulties in communication between couples?
It can be analyzed from the following aspects:
1. Gender differences.
Men and women are two different creatures, they have different physiological structures, different psychological characteristics, different ways of thinking, different expression styles, and different communication needs.
In general, men pay more attention to facts and logic, and women pay more attention to emotions and details.
Men prefer directness and conciseness, while women prefer tactfulness and delicacy.
Men are more inclined to solve problems, and women are more inclined to confide in their feelings.
It is easier for men to hide their emotions, and it is easier for women to express their emotions.
These gender differences can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts in communication between couples.
For example, in the process of communication, men may feel that women are too verbose, and women may feel that men are too cold.
Men may feel that women are too sensitive, and women may feel that men are too rough.
Men may find women too picky, women may find men too casual, and so on.
2. Conflict of values.
Although husband and wife are people who love each other, they also have different backgrounds, different experiences, different education, different beliefs, different ideals, different goals, different Xi, different tastes and so on.
These differences will form different values.
These differences can lead to disagreements and disputes in communication between couples.
For example, husband and wife may be concerned about the education of children, the division of labor in the family, the management of money, the fidelity of marriage, the interaction of relatives and friends, the way of life, and so on.
They all have different views and practices, and if they are not understood and respected by each other, they will lead to dissatisfaction and discord between husband and wife.
3. Emotional interference.
Husband and wife, although they are the most intimate people, are also the most vulnerable people.
Communication between husband and wife is often affected by each other's emotions.
The influence of emotions can lead to deviations and obstacles in communication between couples.
For example, couples may be due to work pressure, life troubles, family disputes, personal troubles, and so on.
Some negative emotions are generated such as anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, jealousy, resentment, and so on.
If these negative emotions cannot be regulated and released in time, they will affect the communication between husband and wife, making both parties sensitive, impulsive, stubborn, resistant, and even hurt each other's feelings.
4. Time pressure.
Husband and wife, although they are the ones who need communication the most, are also the ones who are most likely to ignore communication.
Communication between husband and wife is often limited by time.
Time constraints can lead to a lack of communication and a decrease in the quality of communication between couples.
For example, couples may be busy with work, trivial life, child care, social socialization, and so on.
Not having enough time and energy to communicate effectively, or even if you have the time, not having the mood and interest to communicate in depth.
In this way, the communication between the husband and wife will become formal, superficial, mechanical, or even no communication, which will lead to a weakening of the relationship between the husband and wife.
The third aspect: communication methods and strategies.
Husband and wife communication, although difficult, is not unsolvable.
Communication between husband and wife can be improved and enhanced through some practical and effective methods and strategies, which can help couples establish a better communication model, a better communication atmosphere, and a better communication effect.
1. Communicate regularly.
It is necessary to maintain the frequency and quality of communication, allocate a certain amount of time and space for communication, avoid interruptions and interferences in communication, and ensure the focus and commitment of communication.
Some communication rules and Xi can be developed.
For example, take ten minutes every morning or evening to talk about each other's feelings and plans, or arrange a date once a week, or go on a trip once a month, etc.
These can give couples more opportunities and time to communicate effectively.
2. Positive feedback.
It is necessary to maintain the enthusiasm and interactivity of communication, give some positive feedback and encouragement to the other party, avoid the negativity and indifference of communication, and ensure the enthusiasm and vitality of communication.
There are some communication skills and methods that can be used.
For example, use body language or eye contact to show concern and support, or praise or gratitude to show recognition and respect, or laughter or hugs to show appreciation and love, etc.
These can all make communication between couples more positive and interactive.
3. Empathy.
It is necessary to maintain fairness and rationality in communication, to give the other party some understanding and sympathy, to avoid prejudice and arbitrariness in communication, and to ensure equality and respect in communication.
You can try some Xi exercises and games.
For example, look at a problem from the other person's point of view, or use the other person's tone to say a point, or use the other person's way to do a thing, etc.
These can make communication between couples more fair and rational.
4. Common goals.
It is necessary to maintain communication collaboration and cooperation, to give the other party some help and support, to avoid communication confrontation and competition, to ensure the unity and harmony of communication.
Some common goals and plans can be developed.
For example, for the education of children, or for the happiness of the family, or for personal dreams, etc.
These can allow couples to have more commonalities and common interests, which can increase collaboration and cooperation in communication.
5. Emotional expression.
It is necessary to maintain the sincerity and honesty of communication, to give the other party some trust and security, to avoid false and concealed communication, and to ensure the transparency and honesty of communication.
Can fully express their emotions and needs.
For example, say your likes and dislikes, or your worries and expectations, or your wishes and dreams, etc.
These can make communication between couples more sincere and candid.
6. Seek common ground while reserving differences.
It is necessary to maintain tolerance and tolerance in communication, to give the other party some space and freedom, to avoid the compulsion and control of communication, and to ensure that communication is diverse and flexible.
It is possible to accept and respect each other's differences and differences.
For example, accept the other person's personality and Xi, or respect the other person's choices and decisions, or appreciate the other person's characteristics and strengths, etc.
These can make communication between couples more inclusive and tolerant.
The above are some practical and effective methods and strategies for couples to communicate.
Of course, these methods and strategies are not static or omnipotent, and they need to be flexibly applied and adjusted according to specific situations and individual characteristics.
Husband and wife communication is an art and a science.
It is not only about the harmony of two people, but also affects the growth and happiness of two people.
Through effective communication, couples can get to know each other better, be more intimate, be more supportive, and be happier.
No matter what your marital status is, no matter what your communication level is, no matter what your communication problems are, you must actively communicate, take the initiative to communicate, communicate effectively, and make communication a beautiful landscape in your marriage.
Author: Wang Xiaoxue.