When the mother and son came to the consultation room, I noticed that the mother was close to forty years old, while the son was about .
Seven or eight years old. They were nervous, and it was clear that the mother was anxious to confide in me about her son's problems. "My son may have a problem and is afraid to go to the public toilet when he goes out. Mother said eagerly. The son kept his head down, clutching the corners of his clothes tightly, no matter how much his mother blamed him or even pushed him, he did not respond, maintaining an indifferent expression and movements.
In further communication, I gradually learned the main reason why my son was afraid to go to the toilet in the public toilet. It turned out that the son once lay down in a public toilet and peeked at other people's urine, and was found by his mother and angrily scolded. At that time, the mother took her son shopping, and after entering the public toilet, the mother asked him to wait outside and go in to the toilet himself. Unexpectedly, as soon as the mother entered, the son followed. When the mother came out, she was shocked to find that her son was lying on the passage of the public toilet and peeking at her to urinate. The mother shouted, "What are you doing?"Then he rushed up and grabbed his son by the collar and lifted it. At this moment, a beautiful girl walked out of the toilet, she glared at her son, and scolded him fiercely: "Little rascal!".Then he added: "It's like this at a young age, and when you grow up, you will definitely become a ** criminal." When the mother heard this, she was furious, hit her son with the bag in her hand, and scolded several times in a row: "You dare to play hooligan!."The son was beaten and scolded by his mother and cried, and finally broke free from his mother's hand and escaped.
Later, the mother heard that her son's classmates scolded him for being a hooligan, but the son did not dare to respond. It turned out that the little girl who saw her son enter the women's bathroom was his classmate, and she told her about it, so the son began to accept the ridicule and contempt of his classmates. The son is introverted by nature, and these injuries make him even more closed and inferior. As a result, the son chose to avoid the public toilet, fearing that he would be embarrassed and hurt again.
After listening to my mother's account, I expressed my understanding and sympathy for the plight they were facing. First, I explained to the mother that my son's behavior was a stress response, a manifestation of fear and stress from previous unpleasant experiences. Then, I advise the mother to stop blaming and punishing her son, but to give him understanding and support. Such an experience is painful enough for his son, and adding negative emotions will only increase his psychological burden.
Next, I offered the mother several ways to help her son overcome his fears. The first is to make my son feel understood and accepted through open conversations. The mother can tell him that such an experience is understandable, and then recall with him the events that happened before, helping him to gradually face and deal with this fear.
Secondly, the mother can take her son to some relatively safe and clean public toilets, so that he can feel that public toilets are not a scary place. In this process, the mother should give her son enough time and space, not to force him to go to the toilet, but to slowly guide him to adapt.
Finally, I suggest that the mother actively communicate with the school, introduce her son's situation, and ask for the understanding and support of teachers and classmates. In addition, mothers can also consider consulting professional counselors to help their sons gradually overcome their inner fears and low self-esteem under their guidance.
Finally, I reminded the mother to be patient and understanding, and to give the child enough support and security to help him get out of this difficult situation. The mother nodded, indicating that she would do her best. And the son still silently lowered his head, a pair of small hands still tightly grasping the corners of his clothes, as if he was not ready to fully open his heart.
Children's psychological problems are a complex and sensitive field that requires the joint efforts of parents and professionals to help children overcome difficulties and rebuild their self-confidence and happy mindset.