After the birth of the child, the whole family is happy.
In this way, naturally, the child has become the center of the whole family, and it is the treasure that the whole family holds in the palm of their hands, especially the elderly in the family are even more fond of the child.
Whatever the child wants, the old man will give.
Be obedient to your children, don't let your children do housework, and can't wait to do everything for you.
Children who are overly pampered don't know how to think about others at all, and they don't compare their hearts to their hearts.
After a long time, many children have developed bad behaviors towards the elderly, no matter how big or small, and often scold the elderly.
The child often shouts and drinks at the elderly in the family, without any respect at all.
The principles of parent-child communication need to be understood as parents
Grow by listening
In order to achieve reasonable and effective communication, it is necessary to listen patiently to receive and understand the message expressed by the other party. Communication is not a one-sided statement, let alone passive listening, but based on equal mutual respect for communication, it is not easy to do such a seemingly simple thing, don't underestimate the energy of communication.
Listening is not only a science but also an art, and listening carefully will shorten the distance between people and allow you to receive better interactions. The meaning of people having two ears and one mouth is that they should listen more and talk less, and they always receive a lot of complaints from parents, and communicating with their children is like a one-man show of their own, allowing parents to perform as hard as they can, but it is always difficult to get a response. But in fact, communication requires skills and does not rely entirely on skills, understanding between relatives, but also needs each other's sincere hearts, spend time and energy to listen to each other, the role of force is mutual, how much time you spend to understand, children will also give you corresponding responses. Take your time, it's faster. Learning to be good at listening is the most basic respect parents have for their children. It is inevitable that this phenomenon will often be seen in daily life, many children do not achieve satisfactory results, parents will chatter on the side, will criticize the child is not careful, not serious, too careless and so on. After a lot of talking, it is difficult to teach a set of learning methods that seem reasonable but are actually forceful to teach a set of Xi learning methods that seem to be very feasible to the children after a lot of talking, and one-sided didactic communication is very difficult. Only parents are talking to themselves, and most of the children are listening to the wind and will not think seriously, let alone solve problems.
The right time and occasion
(1) Don't yell, talk calmly
Chat may seem like a casual verb, but adults know that it's not something that can be talked about anytime and anywhere. For example, when your child is concentrating on watching an animated show, you, as a parent, suddenly come together to start a topic, it will be very abrupt or even disappointing. Let's put ourselves in the shoes of those here, who wants to be suddenly interrupted while doing something they like?Then this result can only be arbitrarily perfunctory. And, it must be worth noting that parents should not be exposed in public to criticize and educate their children at will, because Chinese parents always like to blame their children's shortcomings outside, which is very offensive to children's self-esteem, and their purpose is even to make children feel ashamed, so that they will not make mistakes again, but in fact, it is easy for children to not trust us, fear and resistance to communicate with us, trust is getting farther and farther, when you sincerely want to communicate with children, children have been disappointed in such an ineffective relationship。 You should learn to talk to your child alone and in private when you are calm.
(2) Control emotions and master the heat
Share a small story about wearing shoes in life, which is why we always have quarrels with children. When Xiaoxiao first learned to wear shoes, she would look at other places, and then, when she got a shoe, she put it on her foot, so she wore it backwards most of the time. At the beginning, I would always patiently tell her that she should look carefully before putting on shoes, not focusing on other places, and would also teach her various ways to distinguish the front and back of shoes. But I have said n many times, and it has no effect. Whenever this happens, the little flame in me slowly turns into a blazing fire, and then I yell at him, even though it doesn't work. Therefore, it is important to be calm and control your emotions during the conversation with your child. Parents should not use too strong words for their children, try to avoid using too strong words, and never communicate when they are angry, some parents are always unable to control themselves because of their angry emotions, and they are hysterical, resulting in saying a lot of language that hurts their children's hearts. Therefore, when parents themselves generate and fall into bad emotions, the "communication" at this time is a "one-man show", when parents themselves vent their emotions, but they put a heavy mental burden on their children.
Don't always say, "Who's kid is better than you";"You're driving me crazy". This is a disguised accusation against the child, which is very easy to make the child feel disgusted, and will make them fight back against you: "You are angry with yourself, it has nothing to do with me", or "You are sad about you, don't look for me". As a parent, you can't be responsible for your emotional reaction, so you give up your responsibilities and preaching at this time, and you need to choose the right time to talk about this issue again, and this kind of communication is also very important.
Educating children is like raising flowers, careful watering, fertilization, and care, in order to succeed, but in fact, not everyone can raise flowers well, and if you don't understand, you have to ask others for advice, and learn Xi experience and art of raising flowers.
If parents lack relevant knowledge of children's education, and do not know how to obtain scientific methods, if they are also looking for books to learn Xi, then this set of books to educate children is the best choice.
This set of books is known as a must-read parenting book set for parents.
It includes five hardcover volumes, including: "Positive Discipline", "Don't Roar and Don't Scream to Cultivate Good Children", "A Good Mother is Better Than a Good Teacher", "You Are Your Child's Best Toy", "How to Say Children Will Listen" Five volumes.
In the process of children's growth, there will be many thorny problems, such as rebellion, isolation, sensitivity, school boredom and so on.
I always feel powerless in the face of these parents, but these 5 books are close to life cases to help parents sort out the problems comprehensively and guide their children correctly.
The content of the book focuses on practical operation, does not talk empty words, and combines thousands of real cases to discuss, what parents should do, what children should do, at a glance. After reading it, you can learn a lot of practical methods, and it is a very practical set of family education tools.
While letting children learn to respect and be grateful, parents can also learn how to communicate with their children calmly and truly enter their children's hearts.
Through this set of books, parents can clearly understand what methods and strategies need to be adopted to educate their children.
will not cross the river by feeling the stones, be ambiguous, and delay the child.
99.9 yuan, but the cost of a meal, a child's education is related to a lifetime, why not!