My ex-boyfriend won't reply to my messages again, is it like this if you don't love it?
Many people often get stuck in reminiscing about the past after a breakup and wonder why the other person doesn't love me anymoreWhy don't we get results?Get your ex-boyfriend back
If the other person doesn't get back to you, you may think that the other person has lost interest in you.
For example, the night I was getting ready for bed, I turned on my phone only to find that a counselor had sent me more than 30 messages. The message reads roughly:
I felt anxious because my ex-boyfriend was ignoring me again. I didn't know what to do, and I was worried that he would remain so cold to me. Is it like this if you don't love it?
The subtext is: he's not interested in me, do I still have a chance?
I tried to guide her:"If it were me and I haven't replied to you for so long, what would you think?
Student: "Teacher, you're different from everyone else, and you have a lot of clients and jobs to deal with. ”
I said, "It's easy for you to understand my situation, but what if it's your friend?"You've been chatting well with your friends, and all of a sudden they don't reply to you anymore?”
"Sometimes I do this, maybe because I'm busy with something else, or I accidentally forgot to reply to a message," the student said. ”
Me: "yes, why didn't the other people reply, but you were able to understand them." But when it comes to things related to him, your attitude changes”
She was silent, as if suddenly aware of something.
I asked, "You can think about it, if he didn't reply to the message right away before you broke up, would you have the following thoughts: He doesn't care about you anymore, He's talking to other women, Someone else is more important than me, He doesn't love me anymore." Is this the right idea?”
Student: Teacher, I see, as you said before, I used to treat him as my boyfriend and wanted to possess him, not as an individual.
I agree, this kind of behavior is what I mentioned earlier, exposing a sense of need. In fact, this girl has not yet succeeded in shaping the right mindset.
Whether it is the process of falling in love or the process of redemption, you need to maintain a good attitude and don't label him badly because of a certain behavior of the other party.
At this moment, you need to calm down, not to make a nasty impression on the other person, and not to lose yourself, become inappropriate and irrational.
In the process of recovery, in addition to methods and skills, timing control, the most important thing is actually mentality adjustment and control, which is a bit anti-human. But if you want to redeem it, you really can't do it casually, otherwise it will be tossing back and forth over and over again.
In order to effectively win back their boyfriends, girls should avoid the following behaviors and not let emotions prevail:
1.There are some extreme views on the perception of redemption.
Some girls will try to ease their relationship with each other according to the methods we provide. However, they may be in a hurry to get an answer because they are making their own decisions, so they ask each other to reunite. But in the end, it may be rejected by the other party. If this happens, the girls may immediately find a reason to argue:
Since someone has already taken the initiative to speak to me, why not consider offering a settlement?”
She made a typical cognitive mistake by merging the two steps in the redemption that should have taken place sequentially into one step because of her impatience.
However, the process of reconciling the two is not as simple as she thinks. It is precisely because of a "buffer period" that the previously cold relationship has been eased. Only after a buffer period can we talk about the next step of reconciliation.
2.Anxious to get the result, act without a plan.
Some girls choose not to pester each other after breaking up, but they don't really understand the meaning of disconnection, and as a result, in the process of disconnection, they just focus on time. They stare at the date every day, expecting that one day in a month's time, the other person's mood will suddenly change, or after a while, he will get better and then come back to them.
Allow me to be frank and say that there is almost no difference between freezing and keeping in touch without skill. In this case, the chances of the other person coming back to you on their own initiative are very slim because they are also afraid of repeating their previous mistakes, and a connection without skill will only continue to add stress to the relationship.
It's not so much a redemption process as a self-improvement process.
We need to make the most of this time to increase our value and attract the attention of the other person again. It's a very practical thing to do, rather than doing nothing and watching the time go by, hoping that he'll come back automatically.
3.Hysteria
Just venting your pain will not solve the problem, but will only deepen the rejection of you by the person you broke up with.
4.After the breakup, I asked him from time to time to get back together.
Due to the existence of conflict, when he decides to break up with you, the following emotions inevitably wells up in his heart:
Since the contradictions have been accumulating, I have long been irritable about you.
I finally felt a sense of freedom from the relationship.
When you make a compound request at this time, it actually increases his double negative emotions about your irritability and loss of freshness and pleasure. In this case, how could he possibly agree to your compound request?
I'm Madoka Xiao, an emotion analyst for Broken Mirror Reunion, if you are struggling with how to move forward and get your boyfriend back, you can consult with me, and I will help you analyze the current situation in detail. (Minors and those who are unwilling to receive paid counseling should not add it, as time and energy are indeed limited.) You can Xi learn it yourself in the AV area of the Redemption Academy. ）