In the preface to the Lanting Collection, it is written: "Death and life are also great, isn't it painful." In this life, in addition to life and death, the rest are just "bruises". Usually when you encounter a little pain, you can stand up by yourself and endure it. But at the moment of life and death, it is a little surprising that he can't remain quiet.
If you think about it carefully, you will find that before the death of a loved one, some people do not shed tears or grieve, they are not ruthless and unrighteous people, but related to the following reasons.
In the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a famous minister in the State of Qi named Guan Zhong. When Guan Zhong was young, he did business with Uncle Bao and quietly took some money and sent it home. When Uncle Bao found out, not only was he not angry, but he also said: "He has a mother and his family is poor, so he should do this." Guan Zhong followed the prince of Qi, hoping to support him to be the king of Qi. It's a pity that the position of King Qi was occupied by Gongzi Xiaobai, and Gongzi Ji also passed away because of the competition for the position. According to the Xi of the time, Guan Zhong should be martyred. Guan Zhong didn't do this at that time, Bao Shuya said: "Guan Zhong's family has a mother, and he depends on him to support him alone, so he can't take the first step by himself." ”
As the head of the family, he is looking for death and life at every turn, so is the family still alive?If not, who will take on the family responsibilities?
In the suspense drama "The Long Season", after Shen Mo's uncle died, she was not sad at all, but revealed happiness. This suspicion was caught by the police, and the police followed the relationship between Shen Mo and the uncle, only to find that the uncle was simply a brute. The uncle adopted Shen Mo after her parents had an accident, but he had a very strong desire to control, and often insulted and hurt Shen Mo because Shen Mo did something that was not in line with his heart. So Shen Mo killed the uncle many years later. Of course, there will be no tears for such scum.
These people may have experienced the breakdown and hurt of family relationships, and they did not receive enough love and warmth as they grew up. When a loved one dies, they may have become Xi to loneliness and helplessness, and have long since lost the ability to shed tears.
The law of nature is that there is life and death, and since we are born to death, since we cannot be resurrected after death, we will also accept reality. At the same time, it will channel emotions, turn grief into motivation, and prevent excessive sadness from causing negative effects on the body.
When Zhuangzi's wife died, instead of grieving, Zhuangzi sang instead. Sometimes, death is not necessarily a bad thing for a terminally ill person. Rather than lying in a hospital bed, maintained by various instruments, and finally losing the quality of life, it is better to enjoy the last time with your family until death comes, to free yourself.
Death is a necessary path that everyone needs to experience, and no one can escape the natural law of birth, old age, sickness and death. Instead of being afraid of parting, it is better to face every choice and responsibility of yourself carefully while you are alive, and have a clear conscience. It takes a lot of courage to live, and to accept death, you need more tolerance in your heart. In psychology, when a person is excessively sad and painful, he often does not cry because he adopts the psychological mechanism of isolation and isolates all emotions. Because once you let go, all the negative emotions will come up and be difficult to control.
In the face of the death of a loved one, for too many people, they are caught off guard, or they are not the slightest bit mentally prepared, and suddenly take away the person who loves them the most in the world. Crying is often unable to express the truest feelings of the heart. At that moment, the whole person will be confused, or even overwhelmed.
Tears are just a way to express sadness, but at this time, only you really understand, because it is too uncomfortable and painful, the grief that the whole person feels is only known to yourself, and others have no way to empathize.
Relatives refer to people who are related by blood, but people who are related by blood in this world are not necessarily the people who are close to each other, they may also have little contact with each other and have weak feelings, or they may have hurt you and made you feel disgusted. In real life, although some people are close relatives, they have not lived together for a long time, nor have they fulfilled the corresponding responsibilities and obligations, and they have no feelings for each other.
In "It's All Good", Su Mingyu did not shed a single tear at her mother Zhao Meilan's funeral, but she still insisted on contributing money and efforts to do a good job as a daughter. Later, even her eldest brother accused her: "Why don't you have tears?".Why don't you have a trace of sadness?Actually, it has to do with the human experience. Because Su Mingyu has not been treated by her mother since she was a child, and was even excluded by her family, she can't even feel a trace of warmth, and she lives completely in a cold and bullied family environment, so it is normal for her not to be sad or cry.
The reason why we are sad for the loss of our loved ones is not only because of the blood relationship, but also because there is dedication, dedication, and indelible kindness between both parties. In this way, many people will cry bitterly for the loss of their loved ones.
Those who can "hold back and not cry" in the face of the death of a loved one are often very self-disciplined people. Everyone's situation is different, and people who are especially tolerant can always force themselves to accept things that others can't bear. No one can guarantee the direction of life, but we can control our emotions. Those who have strong control over their emotions and have strong endurance can behave like nothing in the face of major blows in life, which is not indifference, but strong.
People who endure their emotions do not want to be spied on by others about their mood fluctuations, so they show no fluctuations. "The Catcher in the Rye" tells the story of a weekend spent in New York through the eyes of the protagonist, Holden Caulfield. In the story, Holden recalls the death of his close brother Arleigh, an extremely painful experience in his life. Despite the hurt inside, Holden did not cry out loud, but instead chose to take the pain with restraint and overcome his grief by finding true friendship.
Introverted people are not sad, but the pain in their hearts cannot be expressed in words, and they are Xi to bury their emotions deep in their hearts and not easily reveal them. People who are unable to express their emotions may be very sad in their hearts, but they do not know how to express their emotions, resulting in them not shedding tears. This type of person usually needs more understanding and support, and needs someone to help them express their emotions.
Some people treat someone bad when they are still alive, but when they die, they cry bitterly, and such people are fake tears, or remorse prompts tears. There are also some people who are very good to each other when they are alive, and they have done everything they should do, and they have already fought for what they should strive for, so this part of people is a person with a clear conscience. The moment they see each other pass away, they will not burst into tears, because they have done their best, and they firmly believe that life and death are not the end, but a reincarnation.
When a loved one dies, they are not wallowing in the pain of parting, but relieved that their parents have been freed from the distractions of the world, knowing that their souls will continue to be by their side, whether it is between the leaves rippling in the wind or in the glorious sunset. They believe that the cycle of life and death is a natural law, like the change of seasons and the alternation of the sun and the moon, and in this process, the loss of loved ones is not a permanent parting, but a continuation of another form.
They believe that the soul is eternal and will evolve over time and eventually return to the bosom of the universe. Many people have always believed that "men don't flick when they have tears", so there are many men who will restrain their emotions no matter how sad they are in their hearts, and will not show them, let alone shed tears easily.
As the pillars of the family, when a loved one dies, they must cheer up and handle the aftermath to avoid omissions. Their status and status limit their freedom, and they understand the weight of the burden on their shoulders, so they are not able to express their emotions without scruples, and to vent their emotions as they please. They don't shed tears, they just don't hang them on their faces, they flow in their hearts.
If people are not plants and trees, how can they be ruthless. People are not plants and trees, don't be as ruthless as plants and trees. People are emotional animals, to know how to be grateful, remember the good of others, be kind to parents, filial piety to parents, unite brothers and sisters, love and harmony between husband and wife, you will gain a lot of warmth. And people are also kind-hearted, even if you encounter a problem outside, it is human nature for passers-by to give you kindness and kindness to help you.
In this life, having parents, family, and family is actually a very happy thing. Relatives are always the inseparable blood relationship in our lives. However, tears are not necessarily the only way a person can express themselves in times of extreme grief. There are always people who look down on life and death, and even imagine and prepare for their own departure.
When relatives leave, they will be generous to send them away, and there are always people who hide their sadness, unwilling to cry in this already sad atmosphere, which makes the sad atmosphere even stronger. Everyone has moments of vulnerability, but in a different way. Maybe in their hearts, it hurts as if they have been stabbed by a knife, but they still have to be strong and brave to face the long road of life, several times of wind and rain, and several times of parting.
No one can let the people we love accompany us permanently, and only we can live well by ourselves is the best comfort for our departed loved ones.