Yang Jiang said: When people reach middle age, the best days are not amazing, not prosperous, but away from the hustle and bustle, half sober and do their best, and half strive to tolerate others.
Yes, we can't restrain the behavior of others, we can only change our own state of mind.
When your mindset changes, you will find that the whole life is smooth.
In the second half of life, if you want to live an easy and happy life, you have to do these three things:
Be sluggish, forgetful, confused.
Sluggish point
I have heard a saying: "If the water is deep, the flow will be slow, and if the language is late, the person will be expensive".
People who are impatient in speech and blurt out words without thinking about it will not only embarrass people but also cause trouble for themselves.
Writer Li Xiaoyi once shared a story of her own.
She used to work as the deputy director of the advertising center in a company.
Once, she met a very difficult client.
The degree of difficulty is well-known in the industry, but the unit price of this customer is very high, as long as he can win him, he can increase the performance of the month by 50%.
Everyone didn't dare to gnaw on this hard bone, so Li Xiaoyi went into battle in person.
In order to be able to satisfy customers, she worked hard, did full research in the early stage, and tried her best to make the plan perfect.
But customers still find fault every time.
Again and again, again and again, she was picky, and she almost collapsed.
Finally, in another ** docking, she couldn't help it anymore and blurted out:
Your request is particularly unreasonable, and you are also very **, don't think that Party A is great, I won't serve you!”
The moment she said it was cool, but the next second she regretted it.
This means that after working hard for so long, not only did not sign the order, but also offended a major customer of the company, and this result could not be explained to the company at all.
Thinking of this, she lay on the table and cried.
After crying, I have to go to the office to accept the accountability of the boss, and then I have to report the criticism to the whole company as a warning.
This incident also made her career depressed for a long time.
Quick words that do not involve interests, can be said to be true temperament;When interests are involved, you need to think twice.
A person's emotions should not be so sensitive, and many times it is to protect themselves.
Junichi Watanabe once said in "Dull Sensibility":
Although the dullness sometimes gives people the negative impression of being dull and dull, the dull sensitivity is the means and wisdom that we have to win a good life.
Be a little sluggish, want to open a little, and don't worry about troubles, so that you can invite happiness in.
Be forgetful
Balzac said: "Life cannot go on without forgetting much." ”
In fact, the reason why many people can't go long is because their memory is too good.
Only those who are good at forgetting can travel lightly.
Seen such a story.
There was a farmer who hired a young man to help install the water pipes in the farmhouse.
But the young man's luck was not good. First, he had to stop to repair the car when he had a flat tire on the way, and by the time he arrived at the farm, he was already an hour late.
Then, in the process of working, while he was engrossed in his work, the electric drill suddenly broke down, and he had to ask the farmer to borrow other tools.
When I finally finished work and was about to drive home, the car suddenly couldn't start.
In the end, the farmer had to send him home.
When they got home, as a token of gratitude, the young man invited the farmer over for a cup of tea.
When he reached the door, the frustrated young man touched the branches of the small tree in front of the door, and when he looked back, he was already smiling, hugging his wife and children, and welcoming the farmer who helped him with emotion.
The farmer was puzzled to see such a change.
When he left, he couldn't help but ask the young man, "Did the action at the door just now have any magical effect?"”
The young man smiled and told him that it was his own tree of trouble.
If you work outside, you will inevitably encounter difficulties and grievances, but don't let them in if you are troubled, hang them on a tree, let God take care of them, and take them away the next day.
Miraculously, every time I go back to the tree the next day, most of my troubles have disappeared without a trace.
The story is short, but it is thought-provoking.
Wong Kar-wai said: "The biggest trouble of people is that they have a good memory, and if they can forget everything, every day in the future will be a new beginning, how happy it should be." ”
Everyone is not perfect, and everyone has had a bad experience that no one knows.
Indulging in the past will only make people live in yesterday and stop moving, and only by learning to forget can we turn the page as soon as possible and welcome a new life.
Confused
Arettino once said:
People don't pretend to be confused, they don't know how to live;Pretending to be confused is a shield, invulnerable;It's an arrow, and no shield can stop it.
Rare confusion is a kind of wisdom in the world.
If people are too careful, many things will not be able to progress;Learn to be confused and tolerant, and the relationship can go long-term.
The marriage between Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu has always been very enviable.
Many people want to ask them the secret of getting along as a couple.
In fact, there is no other, just confusion.
The personalities of the two were originally very different, one was calm and low-key, with a mellow personality, and the other was stubborn and couldn't do anything.
During Yang Jiang's confinement, her body was weak and she could not take care of her daily affairs, and they did not have enough money to hire a nanny.
These jobs fell to Qian Zhongshu.
Qian Zhongshu usually only reads books and newspapers, so how can he do these housework.
Either knocked over the inkwell or stained the landlord's tablecloth;
Either the lamp was messed up, or the door shaft was broken;
Looking at her clumsy husband, Yang Jiang didn't see it yet, and when she saw it, she would say calmly:
I'll get it. She understands that her husband plunged headlong into academics, regardless of firewood, rice, oil and salt, and understood that he originally wanted to do a good job, but he was not good at housework.
Therefore, she does not blame her husband for being clumsy, but is gentle and tolerant.
As long as there are no problems in principle, there is no need to worry about the small things in life.
This is the secret of their long marriage.
A person who knows how to pretend to be confused is a wise person.
They understand that home is a haven for emotions, not a place for right and wrong.
Blindly care about right and wrong, what you fight for is the truth, and what you lose is the person who loves you.
There is no perfect partner, only a heart that knows how to tolerate.
When the other party makes a mistake, don't deny it immediately, but give it a tolerant and understanding way, so that he has a chance to correct it.
When you are confused, you can relax your mind a little bit, so that you can face everything with a relaxed and open-minded attitude.
Feng Zikai once said:
Since there is nowhere to run, it is better to rejoice;Since there is no pure land, it is better to meditate;Since it didn't get its wish, it's better to be relieved.
Life is short, and there is very little time to live for yourself.
Happiness is also a day, and troubles are also a day, so it is better to let yourself live happily.
Be slow, not easily angry, and have a clear heart to make correct judgments;
Be forgetful, don't bring up the old things, and learn to let go, so that you can move forward and write a new chapter.
Be confused, don't be overly calculating, and be tolerant, so that the relationship can be long-term.
For the rest of his life, live wantonly and openly, cultivate his own heart more, and care less about other people's affairs.
May you not be sensitive, not obsessed, not caring, and have a peaceful mind, so very well.