Feng Tang, a cultural master, poked our hearts with one sentence: "It is not easy to be sincere in achieving four nos." "yes, recap.
Usually, do we always like to speculate out of thin air, think things too absolutely, be stubborn, and only be self-respecting from time to time?
Human nature is so complicated. But it doesn't matter, let's talk about this topic today and see how to practice the "four nos" in life.
What are the "four nos"?It is not intended, not necessary, not fixed, and not self. This is a famous saying of Confucius, which means that we should not speculate in a vacuum, not be absolutely certain, not be stubborn, and not be self-serving.
But it's easier said than done. Just like Feng Tang said, it's not easy to be sincere.
No meaning: no speculation
"Don't mean" means don't speculate out of thin air. We always like to guess what other people think, and we often end up guessing wrong.
For example, if your girlfriend doesn't reply to your messages for a day, you start wondering, "Does she not love me anymore?"Did you run away with someone else?”
Actually, she may just have a dead phone. So, don't guess, just ask?
Solution: 1) Communicate directly and ask about the situation;2) Don't jump to conclusions;3) Cultivate trust and understanding.
Zhuangzi said: "Zi is not a fish, and the joy of knowing the fish?""That is, you are not a fish, how can you know the happiness of fish?In the same way, we are not someone else, so how can we know what others think?So, don't guess and guess.
Not necessarily: Not absolutely
"Don't be absolutely sure." We always like to say things too absolutely, and we often end up getting slapped in the face. For example, "I'll never fall in love with anyone again in my life." ”
The result?After a few years, I fell in love with someone else. So, don't talk too much and leave some leeway.
Solution: 1) Keep an open mind;2) Avoid absolute;3) Accept the uncertainty of how things are going.
Zhuangzi said: "Now that I have my own, how can I know my roots?""That is, I now have my own cognition, but how do I know that my cognition is correct?
Therefore, we cannot be too absolute about our own opinions and perceptions.
Unstubborn: Not stubborn
"Don't be stubborn" means don't be stubborn. We always like to stick to our own opinions and are reluctant to listen to others.
The result?Better opportunities and options are often missed. So, learn to let go of stubbornness and listen to other people's opinions.
Solution: 1) Actively listen to others;2) Be open and inclusive;3) Have the courage to admit and correct your mistakes.
Zhuangzi said: "My life has an end, and knowledge has no end." That is, our life is limited, but our knowledge is unlimited.
No self: not me
"No self" means not to be self-serving. We always like to be self-centered and ignore the feelings and needs of others. The result?
It is often a rebellion of the people. So, learn to care for others and respect others.
Solution: 1) Learn to empathize;2) Respect the opinions and feelings of others;3) Cultivate teamwork and altruism.
Zhuangzi said, "Heaven and earth are born with me, and all things are one with me." That is to say, all things in heaven and earth are one, and there is no distinction between high and low.
We must not be self-serving, but respectful of all things and others.
Write at the end:
It is not easy to do the "four nos"!However, just like Feng Tang said, life is just practiced as much as possible.
For example, if you don't read, do things, see and hear enough, and don't read enough, the more likely you are to make mistakes. For the future, don't reject change and embrace him as much as possible.
Not being in a hurry, not being afraid, not being ashamed, is the way to be happy. A wise person, learn to reconcile with yourself, and you have to understand: "No one can heal you but yourself."