I am 43 years old, in a second-tier city in the south, I have a stable job, and I work in a public institution.
Thanks to proper maintenance, I look white and beautiful in my early 40s. In addition, I have been working out all year round, and my figure is even more concave and convex, tight and pleasant.
If I didn't say my age, many people would think I was in my 20s.
Indeed, several times, I have given my daughter a parent-teacher conference in high school, and many people mistakenly think that I am my daughter's older sister. For this reason, her daughter was still proud in front of their classmates.
Because of this, I am always surrounded by a lot of people of the opposite sex.
Among them are business owners, CEOs of large companies, and university professors. They are all elites in their own industries, with successful careers, young and chic, and suave, but they have repeatedly failed in the love field.
Perhaps, it is because there are too many people of the opposite sex around me, too good, too attractive.
After getting acquainted with them, I found that my husband, Lao Jia, looked like an old man no matter how he looked.
Greasy and old face, sparse and bald hairstyle, fat and loose belly, tired and old gait.
Actually, Lao Jia is only two years older than me, but when I met him, he looked more mature than me, but I didn't expect that more than 10 years have passed, the difference between the two of us is no longer a loss, it seems that I am already frozen, and Lao Jia is aging rapidly.
According to my best friend's words, Lao Jia and I are standing together now, definitely not like a husband and wife, but more like a father and daughter.
Because of this, I don't like to go out with Lao Jia more and more, I don't want to go, and he doesn't take me.
I also met Lao Jia on a blind date.
At that time, I had a boyfriend who had been in love for 4 years, and when he graduated from college, he split his legs.
I was very angry at the time, so not long after I broke up with him, I promised my family to go on a blind date and met Lao Jia.
At that time, Lao Jia, who graduated from the School of Political Science and Law, was steady and mature, with firm eyes, and always had a feeling of being down-to-earth.
It took us 2 years to get married. In the past two years, I have also secretly met other men, in comparison, Lao Jia is more secure than other men, and I ended up with Lao Jia.
At that time, he was very pampered and pampered by me.
I have a bad temper, willful, and love to work, even my mother said, let me have to be restrained in the future, and it is my blessing to meet such a good man, let me grasp it well.
In the beginning, Lao Jia worked in a law firm.
Later, I gave birth to a child, and Lao Jia and two other people came out to start a business, started a new business, and opened a law firm.
Starting his own business was really hard, and since then, he rarely went home early, and he hardly had any rest on weekends.
At first, I would also nag him, thinking that he would not accompany me and the children. Later, he often said that he worked so hard to make more money and give me and my daughter a better life.
Perhaps, in order to compensate, he paid less for me and my daughter, so he simply found me a sister-in-law, and when my daughter was older, she found a nanny for the family.
To be honest, since marrying Lao Jia, he has been working hard in his career and has not been with me much, but he has not treated me badly materially.
Give me tens of thousands every month, whether it is my birthday or wedding anniversary, he also transfers money to me, so that I have developed the Xi of spending money lavishly.
My bags and jewelry are often tens of thousands, and every time he buys them for me, he says as long as I like them.
Because of his indulgence towards me, I suddenly felt that as long as I spent money, I would be very empty and lonely without accompanying me.
My best friend, although she lives in a house that is not as big as mine, she hardly has an expensive bag. At that time, every weekend, her husband would drive her and her children, either to travel around or to the farmhouse, and to live a more moisturized life.
However, although I have all kinds of luxury goods, I don't look at the price when I spend money, I should beautify and beautify, I should be fit, but in the dead of night, the emptiness and loneliness in my heart are like a huge net covering me, and I can't breathe.
I also longed for someone to accompany me, someone to know the cold and the hot, but I didn't.
Such emptiness and loneliness have given others the opportunity to get close to me.
H is the first man I met outside of marriage, he works in a bank, with a muscular body and a handsome face.
I accompanied my friend to do business and met, and the next day we met again at a friend's dinner, and he asked for my **, and we bypassed our friends and became friends who didn't talk about anything.
After knowing each other for two months, he asked me to have dinner and karaoke, and later, the ghost sent me to the hotel.
Later, naturally, we became lovers.
Actually, at the beginning, he knew my age, he was born in the 90s, and I was 13 years older than him, but he said countless times that he liked fairy sisters like me.
He also said that it doesn't matter about age, what he likes is me, and it has nothing to do with age.
I was touched by these words, so I willingly became his lover.
With him, I feel a few years younger, as if my youth has reappeared.
After dating H for a few years, he had a girlfriend.
He said that he didn't like the woman, but his family found it for him, and his family urged him to get married.
So, we broke up.
But I soon had a new boyfriend, let's call him W, he taught at a university in Shanghai, he was personable, elegant and gentlemanly.
He is also a post-90s generation, and when he met me for the second time, he asked me to go to the hotel.
Because with the first time, I didn't feel too much guilt and nervousness.
W usually comes to Hangzhou to find me on weekends, and he always comes on Friday night, and we spend the weekend together, and he goes back.
He would sometimes bring me gifts, many times, but they were not expensive. Sometimes it's hundreds of bracelets, hundreds of perfumes, but none of them are more than a thousand.
He is very good at coaxing people and surprises me every time.
I would sometimes give him gifts, almost a thousand dollars.
I also signaled to him before, I fell in love with a gemstone ring, ** tens of thousands, I went to see it with him, but w didn't mean to buy it for me.
I asked him if the ring would be a good fit for me. He said yes, it looks good, but he just won't buy it for me.
When I was entangled with him before, he even said that he was willing to accompany me for the rest of his life.
However, I was a little unhappy that I was so unkind to buy an expensive gift with me.
Later, W bought me that ring and we reconciled.
He still comes to me every week, and we're like a weekend couple.
One weekend, W and I went to a secret tryst, and we were bumped into by a friend of Lao Jia, and I also took a ** and sent it to Lao Jia.
As I imagined, Lao Jia had a big fight with me, and he insisted on me telling me how many bad things I had done behind his back.
I certainly don't want to admit it, we had a big fight.
After that day, he ignored me and had a cold war with me.
Actually, since we gave birth to our daughter, we haven't lived as a couple. Later, after the child was three years old, we slept in separate beds, and our husband and wife had long since died in name.
This cold war lasted for a long time, and even my daughter asked me, Mom, are you going to divorce your father, and can you divorce after I am admitted to university and go abroad?
Actually, I've thought about this question too.
My husband and I have long since lost affection, he doesn't love me, and I don't love him, we just pretend to have a complete home.
Moreover, in terms of relationships, although I am over 40 years old, I am still loved, and my boyfriends are all handsome guys under the age of 30.
Crying Lotus, the most perplexing issue I am currently thinking about divorce, but there is also a trace of contradiction. My husband currently earns 1 million yuan a year, gives me 10,000 yuan a month for living expenses, but we have no feelings between us, I currently earn 140,000 yuan a year, if I find a young boyfriend after the divorce and give me a few thousand yuan a month, my quality of life will not decline too much.
We have two houses, and if we get a house after divorce, my husband will also be responsible for my daughter's tuition abroad.
Teacher Crying Lotus, can you help me analyze, should I get a divorce?
Paradoxical leisure.
Crying Lotus Re:
Hello leisurely, first of all, thank you for your trust.
Since you wrote to ask me, I believe that you also want to divorce, but you have no confidence.
Why?
Because I see the real status quo of you and your husband in this marriage.
You still seem to be husband and wife, but your emotional concentration is almost zero, and you are just raising children together. To be more precise, it is your husband who is providing financial support, and you, you don't mention too much in the article, but judging from the fact that you spend weekends with your lover every week, you must not have much to pay for your children and family.
You are 43 years old this year, and you can still maintain it very well, according to your own words, it is about the same as 30 years old, this is the confidence that you can find a young boyfriend behind your husband's back in marriage, in addition to your natural beauty, more, I think you can't do without the financial support that your husband gives you every month.
Your husband's income is high, you don't have to take care of all the expenses at home, in addition to your own salary, you also have the money your husband gives you, it is these money as support, you can maintain yourself very young, maintain it well, and can use this posture to attract a little boyfriend.
But let me ask, not to mention, how is your relationship as a husband and wifeIf you don't have your husband's financial support, if you take care of the housework, tutor the children, and are busy with your livelihood, you still have the spare money and energy to take care of yourself, can you make you look like a 30-year-old in your 40s?
There is also a very important point, you said that after the divorce, you let these little boyfriends give you some money, and the quality of life will not drop much.
This sentence is simply a dream talk.
Think about it, no matter how well you are maintained, do you have a little girl in your 20s, your boyfriends are younger than you, why are they with you,It's nothing more than sexCome to think of it, you guys look like they're dating every week, but how much do they spend you?
You said it yourself, I won't buy you more expensive gifts, and I bought a ring just to reconcile with you, but I just have free cannons in the future.
How is it possible that you still want to get money from them?
Perhaps, you got money in the family and your husband's parent-child investment in the children, but you didn't get emotional concentration.
You want to get everything from your little boyfriend, you don't understand men too much, and you're too greedy.
Hopefully, if you figure out what exactly you want, you'll know how to do it