If you find life too difficult, read 5 Changes .

Are you living this life too?

I want to reconcile with my original family, but I can't control my temper as soon as I open my mouth;

I'm doing a job I'm not interested in, but I haven't had the courage to change careers;

has been in a relationship for a long time, but he is reluctant to let go;

It's really strange why we know that this is not the life we want, but we can't get a radical change?

Psychologist Li Songwei gave this answer:

People always expect 100% change in difficult situations, but this often leads to 100% frustration because it is always difficult to follow.

Perhaps only 5% of people can successfully change.

And 5% change is the beginning of getting us out of these days of struggle and frustration.

Everyone has more or less dissatisfaction with themselves, maybe they are not in good shape enough, maybe they don't have enough income.

Douban netizen @33 said that when she was in her 20s, she especially hated her lack of self-discipline:

I've been chasing dramas and watching **, boiling out of the eyes of flying mosquitoes;When you encounter something delicious, you can't stop, and you will spoil your stomach;I read a lot of time management books, and I made a plan but didn't implement it.

She wanted a healthy and uplifting self, so she tried to change again and again, but she never met the requirements.

With anxiety like this, a messy life continues.

Later, at 30+, she no longer competed with her perfect self.

Just list what you want to do, and then put it where you can see it, but don't write when you did itIf you are happy, you will do it, and if you are not happy, you will not do it.

Unexpectedly, things slowly advanced and completed instead.

George Bernard Shaw once said:

Many times, completion is more important than perfection, and iterating in each completion is progress.

And the real transformation is to accept the original me with a relaxed mind, and welcome the new me with 5% change.

Teacher Li Songwei also met an anxious help-seeker who wanted to change for a long time.

She wants to get rid of depression, reconcile with her patriarchal parents, and change careers to do the design job she loves.

The advice given is to put aside the idea of wanting a radical 100% change for a while.

Try to try to make a 5% change by setting aside only a specific hour a day while keeping your lifestyle the same.

The caller did.

He first resumed his exercise habits and slowly regained a sense of self-control.

Then I started reading books spontaneously, and my concentration and happiness also improved, and my life returned to normal step by step.

Very much agree with the sentence:"Don't expect your life to turn around all at once, just make a little progress every day. ”

When we reach a certain age, we will discover that imperfection is the norm in life.

Since 100% change is hard to achieve, make 5% change first.

A 5% improvement may seem weak, but it snowballs to loosen the anxiety in life.

Teacher Fan Deng said:

Many times, the pain people feel often does not come from the pain itself, but from their own imagination.

Some people are always accustomed to setting all kinds of bad results for themselves, numbing themselves with "fake pain", and dare not change.

Seen such a true story.

A girl from Beipiao concluded that she was a loser with no status, no money, and no home.

She intends to make a choice between continuing to take graduate school and going home to take the public entrance examination.

So every day when she is free, she thinks:

Let's go to graduate school, I've already failed twice, I'm too old, my family is poor, isn't it too selfish to continue to prepare for the exam?

If you take the public examination, you will live a life of "seeing the end at a glance", is life too sad?

In this way, the girl struggles with her thoughts every day, and her life does not improve.

The Book of Time has this passage:

Young man, your job is to level the land, not to be anxious. ”

When we have any dissatisfaction with life, anxiety is the most useless kind of waiting.

Only change can bring the possibility of adjustment, and only action is the outlet for solutions.

I once saw a "law of recklessness".

There are always a lot of dilemmas in life, and if you're torn between doing and not doing, do it now.

Because if you don't do it, it's always an "imaginary" that stays in your head.

And if you do it, you enter a cycle of trying, feedback, correcting, and promoting, and in the end there is at least half the probability of doing it.

If it's too hard to move with perfect scores, then we just need to make 5% changes.

Read a page of a book today to recharge yourself, and run for 5 minutes tomorrow to recharge your health.

When you inject a little change into yourself, your life starts to take a turn for the better.

The cycle repeats itself until you find yourself unknowingly completing a wonderful transformation.

Everyone wants to be better: more capable, emotionally better, physically better.

If you want to achieve this, you have to do what you haven't done in order to be truly growing.

So, try to start with a 5% change to adjust your current life:

1. Change your thinking and observe problems in a recorded way

We often overlook that documentation is also a great way to solve problems.

Because while writing down the problem, you will unconsciously sort out the logic and finally create a new solution idea.

There is a girl who is always kind to others, but when she faces her mother, she is prone to verbal conflicts.

The psychologist advises her to observe and record her emotions, which she does, and finally is pleasantly surprised to find out the real cause of the conflict and fulfill her desire to reconcile with her mother.

The next time you encounter a dilemma, you may wish to try to observe and record the problem, find the abnormality in the text, and find the answer in the self-examination.

2. Get rid of your fear and try to do small things that don't change your life

If you're scared of change, try the little things that you do that don't really change your life.

For example, there is a boy who wants to return to the workplace after a two-year absence, but he has never been able to take the step of looking for a job.

So, he tried to spend half an hour a day writing his resume, and then deleted it when he was done.

This allows you to stay in the safe zone and have a little exploration.

As his resume became more and more perfected every day, his confidence gradually increased, and he slowly stepped out of the safe zone.

3. Take action and put aside imagination to solve practical puzzles

When your problem is anxiety about what hasn't happened, then it's hard to take action to change.

Because it's not really a problem and can't be actually solved.

Therefore, we must learn to examine ourselves and discern whether our so-called confusion is a real problem

Worrying about being laid off in the future is a matter of imagination, and feeling that you are not competitive enough in the workplace is the real fear.

The fear of being lonely is a matter of imagination, and thinking that not being able to find your other half is a real difficulty.

When you focus on specific problems, you can clarify the ideas for solving problems and improve your ability to act.

Teacher Luo Xiang said:

What really makes you grow is always the things that make you afraid, avoid, and painful.

Instead of living passively, it is better to be proactive in progressing.

Spend five minutes a day observing your words and actions, trying a small thing that doesn't change your life to solve a real problem.

Try to feel the changes in yourself from the 5% change and discover the difference in life.