Hello everyone, I'm lazy. In the previous article, we said that communication is not only about being able to speak and listening, but also about consciously cultivating the use of systems thinking in communication. Today, I would like to continue to share with you a view from Shi Xinyue, the author of "Words Are Right: The Hexagonal Communication Method for Becoming a Communication Master", on communication goals and a very useful gadget.
Regarding the real goal of communication, the author gives a very simple definition:
The real goal of communication is to meet needs.By extension, the two sides of the dialogue confirm each other's needs through language or writing, and then exchange, adjust, and realize their interests with each other to finally meet the needs. In this process, the core word is "need", and to meet our own needsThe first thing is to make the other person's needs satisfied
Psychology believes that man is a social animal, and communication between people is as important as water, food, shelter, etc. In life, we should take the initiative to communicate with others, one to meet our own needs for communication, and the other to meet the psychological needs of others for communication, we will feel happy and satisfied because of the needs of meeting each other's interaction.
Here's a little tool for you: the Requirements Exchange Table. Before you have a critical conversation, you can use the prompts to list the needs that I must meet, the needs that can be exchanged, and the needs that the other person must meet and the needs that can be exchanged.
Let's take a look at how you can use this table for effective and successful communication.
1. Use the needs we can exchange to meet the needs that the other party must achieve
2. The other party should also use the needs that he can exchange to meet the needs we must achieve.
In the end, if a cross shape can be formed on this **, that is, the needs that must be met by both parties, it means that the communication has been successful.
Of course, the needs of the parties in this table, as well as the needs that must be met and those that can be exchanged, are subject to change. As the follow-up communication progresses, you can make adjustments to it at any time.
After the communication is complete, we can evaluate it again to see if the needs that we have to meet are being met. If we are satisfied, this communication will be a success for us;If the needs that the other party must meet are also met, then we can say that this is a critical communication that creates value.
Here, combined with this demand exchange table, I will give you an example of renting a house, we want to rent a house and are also satisfied with this apartment. Our main need is to keep the rent as low as possible within our budget, while the landlord's need is to receive the rent and stay as high as possible on their own rent floor. Therefore, the process of negotiating rent with the landlord is a process of clarifying the needs of both parties, and then exchanging benefits to meet each other's needs.
I first fill it out according to the requirements of **, as follows:
If we can negotiate with the landlord to rent the house at the rent of 2,800 yuan (our bottom line), it means that it is a successful negotiation.
Sometimes when we communicate, there are such communication misunderstandings
You must win, and you must completely convince the other party to agree with your opinion, otherwise you will fail.The author believes that this is a wrong goal of communication, because it does not clarify its own needs and does not see the needs of the other party, but only tries to impose its own position and proposition on the other party. This does not generate communication value and can sometimes lead to tension between the two parties.
Today, we talked about the core of communication is to meet needs, and at the same time, we also know a small tool that can be used in the communication process - the demand relationship table, in addition, we must also avoid stepping into the communication misunderstanding, that is, we must thoroughly persuade the other party to agree with their opinions.
You are welcome to use these communication tips in your daily life, and share your communication stories in the comment area.
Today's topic: Do you understand the needs of others in the process of communicating with others?
If you want to know more exciting content, come and pay attention to the happy bookstore of lazy girls.
Everyone is welcome to leave a comment, like, ** in the comment area
If you like my articles, remember to follow me
Reading makes life fly, I'm lazy, let me accompany you to read, looking forward to meeting you next time!