My father-in-law booked three tables for his birthday, but no one checked out after the meal, and my wife motioned for me to go, so I turned around and left
If you can't afford to eat, don't force it. My father-in-law's birthday party cost 6,000 yuan, why should I bear this cost alone?Is it because I didn't pay the bill?My wife and I had a heated argument over the issue, and she thought I had lost face in front of her mother's family. We had a big argument to preserve our dignity. This quarrel led to the eventual breakdown of our marriage.
On the old man's birthday, his son booked three tables of banquets. After the meal, no one paid the bill, but the son-in-law was expected to pay the bill. The father-in-law has two sons and two daughters, and the wife is the eldest. From the time we realized that we were married to the time we divorced, we have always played the role of givers in our father-in-law's house. Over the years, I have paid a lot of money, gifts, and effort for my father-in-law's family, but in the end, I ended up being blamed.
Since my wife and I got married at an early age, we have always been responsible for taking care of our other siblings at home. I distinctly remember that I used to buy six mobile phones and three electric cars for the sake of my wife's two younger brothers and one younger sister. The 300 or 200 yuan of pocket money that is usually given to them is innumerable. Although our economic situation is modest, these expenses are also quite a burden on me. However, whenever my wife asked, I always said yes. The special affection of a wife for her mother's family cannot be changed.
When my wife and I got married, our local customs stipulated that the bride price was 66,666 yuan. However, the father-in-law's family put forward different opinions and insisted that the bride price reach 99,999 yuan before agreeing. Despite our frustration, we eventually compromised. According to local tradition, the man will spend three or five years after marriage before bringing back part of the bride price. However, the bride price I paid to my wife was still not returned at the time of our divorce.
In our case, it is common to hang a curtain when we get married. On the day of the wedding, the woman's brother or nephew will personally hand over a curtain, and this is not a gratuitous act, but a certain fee, usually 500 yuan or 1000 yuan. However, when my wife and I got married, we were asked to pay 3,000 yuan for the curtain.
It's not because we're stingy, it's because we weren't well prepared. We never imagined that these two young people would make such a high demand. Although the matter went on for a long time, the person in charge of this link could not be persuaded to make sense, and finally we had to prepare a red envelope in a hurry. A few years later, I overheard my wife mention that the reason they had proposed the three red envelopes was because they had a younger sister at home, so each of them needed 1,000 yuan.
It's not that I'm stingy, but I remember it vividly because from that moment on, my wife's family had been exploiting me even more. Fourteen years ago, the cost of our curtains here was 500 yuan, and a child only had to pay this amount. However, the day before we got married, my father-in-law suddenly informed him that his wife's two younger brothers needed 1,000 yuan each. Still, we didn't object, after all, the money was not given to outsiders.
On the day of the wedding, a temporary increase of 1,000 yuan was unacceptable. It's not just about money, it's also about making friends and relatives who attend the wedding have a negative view of our family and think that our family is weak and bullied!
The days after marriage are quite harmonious, and as long as it does not involve the wife's maiden family, we can generally avoid disputes. However, every conflict and dispute originated from the wife's family. In her eyes, her mother's family is always the most important, no matter how big or small the matter, as long as her mother's family notifies, she always leaves what she is doing and immediately goes to her mother's house to help. Even if it's just a trivial thing that happens there, the wife thinks it's extremely important.
Over the years, her two younger brothers have married and bought an RV, and each time she has received strong support from his wife. Get 40,000 yuan when you get married, 20,000 yuan when you buy a house, and 20,000 yuan when you buy a car. For her two younger brothers alone, these expenses have reached 160,000 yuan. And we have been married for more than 10 years, but we have not been able to buy a house.
What's even more infuriating is that when her sister got married, her father-in-law married a car as a dowry. The car was bought by the father-in-law for his second daughter with a down payment, with a total down payment of 50,000 yuan. The wife actually took 30,000 yuan of it, what kind of thing is this?
The father-in-law was hospitalized for a month, and his wife took care of him alone in the hospital for 25 days, during which the wife paid for all the food and drink expenses out of her own pocket. During the father-in-law's illness, a total of 200,000 yuan was spent, and the four siblings shared the medical expenses. However, the wife's two younger brothers silently received the reimbursement money without even notifying them.
Every time we went to visit my father-in-law's house, we had to bring food and wine, and there were no exceptions. It's not like visiting relatives at all, it's more like delivering food. Every visit to a relative costs a few hundred dollars, so that whenever my wife says that she wants to leave a relative, I always find a reason to excuse myself. I really don't think it's necessary.
Although I have been tolerant all these years, after all, money cannot measure our more than ten years of marriage and the company of two children. I thought this would be the case, after all, we were united because of family. However, two things that happened later really made me unbearable.
My son was attacked by my wife's nephew at a family gathering, which made me feel terrible. At that time, I was unable to attend the meeting, but my wife brought our eldest son to the meeting. When I got home, my eldest son hugged me and cried, and when I asked what was going on, he just silently hugged me and cried. The wife was indifferent to this matter and said lightly: "It's not a big deal for children to fight." ”
Looking at my son's sad look and the obvious marks of blow on his face, I realized that the situation was certainly not as simple as my wife said. After my repeated questioning, my son finally told the truth. It turned out that when the two children were playing in the yard, the other fell down, but got angry at my son and waved his fist. In the face of this sudden attack, my son just fought back to protect himself, but the other party couldn't beat him and fell to the ground crying. At this critical moment, my wife chose to suppress her own children and let my wife and nephew beat my son twice.
My son sobbed and told me, "Dad, he hit me first, I just fought back." But my mother restrained me and told him to beat me. Why did my mom bully me with someone else?"Looking at my son's pain, I have mixed feelings. Wife, aren't you the biological mother of this child?Why are you so indifferent to your son?That day, I developed hostility towards my wife, and she became strange and tiresome in my heart.
A family crisis triggered by a father-in-law's birthday.
Once, on my father-in-law's birthday, we always had heavy gifts in our hands, including cigarettes, alcohol, cakes, and even our own ingredients. Every year, the cost of celebrating my father-in-law's birthday is at least 1,000 yuan, but I don't care about this, because after all, birthdays are only once a year.
However, when his father-in-law celebrated his 60th birthday, his two sons suddenly proposed not to do it at home, but chose to set up a banquet in a restaurant and invited a group of relatives and friends. At first, I was relieved that I didn't have to pay for it myself. The birthday banquet was booked at the most luxurious restaurant in the town for three tables, each table was priced at 1,000 yuan, plus tobacco and alcohol, a table cost at least 2,000 yuan, and the whole banquet was at least 6,000 yuan. At that time, I thought to myself, the cost of 6,000 yuan, my father-in-law's two sons should not be a problem to pay 3,000 yuan each, even if the worst plan is to divide the four families equally, each family only needs to pay 1,500 yuan, I can accept it.
However, on my father-in-law's birthday, towards the end of the feast, an embarrassing scene occurred - the hotel manager delivered the bill, and the three of us had not yet settled the bill.
I thought my father-in-law's two sons would fight to pay for it, but to my surprise, they both pretended to be nothing, as if it had nothing to do with them. My father-in-law habitually glanced at me, and it was clear that he meant to let me go to the checkout. I quickly lowered my head, feeling embarrassed.
What's going on here?Why do I have to pay for it?We celebrated our birthday at the hotel, and both sons were present, all of whom were friends and family. There was no reason for me to pay the bill, I pretended not to see it, and kept my head down and concentrated on my phone. When I felt I could get away with paying the bill, something unexpected happened.
My wife walked up to me from another table, and in front of everyone, she ordered me to go to the checkout, and in a tough tone, she said, "You go and pay the bill, why are you so ignorant, so old, you know how to play with your phone all day long." ”
My wife's words instantly put me in the spotlight, and everyone looked at me with disdain, reproach, surprise, and sympathy in their eyes. I can't stop pretending nothing happened.
I endured it to the limit, and if my wife had said to me in a gentle tone, I would have paid the 6,000 yuan meal without hesitation. But her attitude made me angry, and she not only commanded me, but also took it for granted, stirring up anger in my heart. Coupled with the fact that I had already drunk two glasses of liquor in the evening, I was in a state of high spirits at this moment.
I stood up, turned around and left. As he walked, he said, "Whoever wants to pay this account will let him pay it, and I won't pay a penny." Sort it out yourselves. ”
My wife didn't catch up, she yelled behind her back and told me to hurry up and pay the bill, but I ignored it and left straight away.
At my father-in-law's birthday party, there was a farce that I will never forget. When I left, I was deeply disappointed with my father-in-law's family. I didn't know what happened after I left, and I didn't want to find out.
The following day, my wife and I had a heated argument over the incident, which was the first time we had a physical altercation in our marriage. She returned to her mother's house in a rage, but I didn't go to greet her. Three months later, we decided to go through the divorce process. During this period, no one in the father-in-law's family stood up to solve the problem.
Time flies, and three years have passed. Looking back on this experience, I still feel devastated. I don't understand why my father-in-law's family thinks that I, an outsider, should pay for the old man's birthday partyWhy do they take this money for granted?I'm wrong in this matter
Close contact with nature I feel a sense of relief from my wife's divorce from me. I can finally stop worrying about these things, I am an ordinary person, and every penny I have earned with my hard work. My parents, who are 60 years old, have never had a birthday, but they have been quietly supporting me to start a family. They haven't asked me for a penny over the years. Compared with this, I paid a lot for my father-in-law's family, but in the end, I got such an ending. I really can't figure out what exactly I'm doing wrong.
Now, I finally understand that you can't be wronged. If only one person in a family is struggling to support them, then no matter how hard they try, it will not help. The important thing is to live well and learn to give up to those who consume you. Honor your parents and never try to please those who don't know how to be grateful. Only by making yourself stronger can you solve all problems.