Text: Zi Aizi
In life, we often meet such women:
obviously doesn't have much outstanding appearance, even past the best age of a woman, but between words and deeds, it will always make people feel like a spring breeze.
Obviously he doesn't have much ability, and he doesn't even have a stable job and income, but he is still held in the palm of his hand by his husband and children, and he is the backbone of the family.
Such a woman will always give people a sense of peace of mind and steadfastness, and may not be the "pillar" of the family, but it must be the "backbone".
A woman's charm may begin with her beautiful face, but it is not limited to her appearance.
A woman's wisdom may come from having poetry and books in her belly, but it is by no means limited to learning.
And those women who are fascinated by people in their long-term relationship must not be because they are "good at means" and know how to be liked all the time, nor because they are lucky enough to meet the right person and can be loved all the time.
It's that they know how to control their lives and how to improve themselves in the immersion of the years.
Such women actually have commonalities.
Soft but not weak
Many people will use the word "weak" to describe women.
So what exactly is "soft" and what is "weak"?
Soft generally refers to softness and humility, while weak usually refers to not strong enough, so from ancient times to the present, some people have always believed that women need to live dependent on men.
Of course, there are still many women who are gentle with others, but in many cases, gentleness is more like a "protective color" for them.
Because though they don't speak hard things, they don't do soft things either.
In other words, this kind of woman is soft but not weak.
It's like a post shared by a netizen:
His girlfriend has always been a very gentle girl, and no matter how big or small the two are together, she has hardly refuted her words.
Because of this, it was difficult for him to experience the enthusiasm of love in his girlfriend, so he wanted to break up, and he even anticipated his girlfriend's reaction in advance, knowing that she would definitely cry and cry, and also thought of a coping strategy.
However, what surprised him was that as soon as he broke up, his girlfriend nodded very calmly and agreed, and then calmly pointed out the various expenses during the relationship between the two, and after a short agreement, the two parties reached an agreement, and his girlfriend packed up her things and moved out on the same day.
A few months later, he regretted begging to get back together, counting all the good things when the two were in love, but the other party was not moved at all, and completely treated him as a stranger.
At this time, he suddenly realized that his girlfriend was not as weak as she seemed on the surface, she had a lot of ideas in her heart and would not be easily influenced by others.
In the eyes of many people, gentleness is a woman-specific word.
But gentleness does not mean weakness, let alone the weakness of women, but under the attitude of goodness, they have their own principles.
Just like in real life, a gentle mother is not responsive to her child's needs and blindly doting, but uses gentle language and attitude to stop her child's wrong behavior, rather than speaking harshly at the beginning.
A gentle wife is not obedient to her husband in everything and lives in dependence on the other party, but under the soft admonition, she exposes her husband and solves the problem together, instead of arguing and accusing at the beginning.
If gentleness is a kind of character, then softness but not weakness is a kind of attitude and strength, but also a kind of wisdom hidden in the needle, quiet on the surface, tenacious and unyielding inside.
Wise but not impatient
A researcher has done a set of surveys on 100 middle-aged couples:
"What's the most intolerable thing about your partner?”
Surprisingly, many people consider bad habits such as betrayal of marriage or gambling to account for less than 20%.
And more than 70% of people said that they couldn't stand the fact that their other half couldn't speak well and couldn't communicate.
As the saying goes:
"It's not the mountains in the distance that make people tired, it's a grain of sand in your shoes. ”
This can't help but remind me of a neighbor upstairs, a young man who had just been married for less than half a year, and he and his wife had a divorce.
Later, in a casual chat, I learned that his ex-wife is a good woman in the traditional sense, who works hard outside the home, and the salary is not low, and she takes care of the housework well, not only her own small home is carefully cleaned up, but she can also take care of the parents of both parties from time to time.
It is said that if you marry such a wife, why worry about a bad life?
It's just that the most unbearable thing for him is that no matter what happens, his wife never communicates well, whether it is a mistake at work or not putting away the socks on the sofa in time in life, he will provoke his wife to complain and blame.
He also wanted to communicate this problem with his wife many times, but found that there was almost no way, because once the two disagreed, his wife would be emotional, and there was no way to talk well. The home is always full of accusations and quarrels, and it is impossible to feel warmth and love.
This can't help but make him wonder, is such a marriage really better than being single?
A woman's greatest wisdom may not lie in being able to guess people's hearts and predict the direction of things, but in the fact that she always has a stable mood, is always calm and calm about people and things, and responds to everything with an attitude of not being impatient or impatient.
They will not be complacent because of a little achievement, nor will they be depressed because of a little frustration, and they will not be angry because others have not met their expectations.
Such a woman is often not easily controlled by emotions, and always allows reason and peace to prevail. Then, any test before them is just a ripple blown by the breeze.
Regarding love, Zhang Ailing's attitude is:
"Neither humble nor arrogant, calm and elegant, facing everything. ”
That's what she said, and that's what she did.
When she falls in love with Hu Lancheng, she doesn't want anything, just wants to meet and promise.
But when Hu Lancheng betrayed, he resolutely left 300,000 manuscript fees, bought out everything in the past, and never saw him again.
A woman's ability is not reflected in how strong she is, but when her life is out of control, she no longer feels nervous and anxious, but she is more sure of herself, knowing that there is a solution to everything, and knowing that she can definitely solve it.
Life may not spare everyone, and the years seem to be a little harsher on women.
But what can keep a woman shining in the passage of time may not be how beautiful her face is, let alone how strong her background and strength are.
It's about your own tenacity and calmness.
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