58-year-old eldest sister of 100 families assistance plan: After sleeping in separate rooms, my remarried wife divorced me every day, and my heart was completely cold.
In our minds, sleeping in separate rooms seems to be an option for young couples, usually because of relationship problems, work pressure, or to facilitate the care of children. This phenomenon also exists in middle-aged couples for a wide variety of reasons, but sleeping in separate beds for long periods of time is bound to have a negative impact on the relationship and may even endanger the marriage.
However, in reality, we also find that more and more elderly couples choose to sleep in separate rooms, which is a bit puzzling. The elderly basically do not have much pressure in life, and most of the relationships between them have gone through ups and downs and are not prone to cracks. So, why do older couples adopt such a lifestyle?In fact, they also have their own difficulties and helplessness.
Take 58-year-old Sister Su as an example, she was a single woman who chose to remarry in order to find a better life. In the initial stage, she and her remarried partner lived a relatively happy life. However, what is surprising is that five months later, Sister Su insisted on sleeping in a separate room with the other party. This decision caused strong opposition from the remarried partner and even threatened a divorce. Sister Su began to wonder if she had done something wrong and was confused by what had happened. Next, we will listen to the story of Sister Su, the reason.
I am Su Yulian, and I have entered the stage of life at the age of 58. Although I own a 90-square-meter independent house and a monthly pension of 3,000 yuan, I don't feel satisfied with my life. It's not insatiable, it's a real life situation. Let me tell you about it, and if you don't believe me, please hear me tell you more.
Ten years ago, I lost my husband, who I had a close relationship with, and he passed away unexpectedly. The death of my husband plunged me into deep despair, because I knew that I would probably never meet someone so good to me again in my life. My husband's kindness to me, even with the passage of time, is still deeply imprinted in my heart.
Soon after, many people around me introduced me to blind dates, how could I not know their kindness?I was not yet 50 years old at the time, but out of consideration for my daughter, I resolutely refused all the arrangements. In addition to my normal job, I devote all my time and attention to my daughter.
Over time, my daughter graduated and found a job. In the process of her work, she met her boyfriend, and then the two walked to the palace of marriage. Seeing that my daughter has a happy family of her own, I am sincerely happy for her. Immediately after that, I officially retired from the unit.
At first, I thought that since I was retired, I might as well help my daughter take care of the children. At that time, my idea was very simple, and there was no self-interest at all. However, when I actually went to my daughter's house and helped her take care of the child for a while, I immediately felt regretful.
At first, I thought it would be no difficult to raise children, after all, I raised my daughters single-handedly. But in reality, it is really difficult for today's children to cope. During the day, it was fine, but at night, the child refused to sleep all night. I could only walk around the room with him in my arms, how could I stand such torture?At this time, my daughter and son-in-law only knew their comfort, and there was no one to replace my hard work.
This situation is not new, sometimes the child is making a lot of noise, and it is useless to coax him. I'd pretend to blame him, but I just didn't want to see him cry, not really angry. But it was clear that my son and daughter-in-law were unhappy with me. I couldn't stand such a thankless thing, so a year later, I found an excuse to leave my daughter's house.
When you return to your own home, you don't have to endure the hard work of taking care of your children, even though you have a carefree life. But I wasn't happy at all. Before, I didn't feel any discomfort when I had to work or take care of my daughter every day. But now, living alone every day, there is no one around to talk to, it is so lonely. This feeling is especially strong in the dead of night.
Later, a few good friends learned about my situation and introduced me to blind dates. I went on a blind date several times, but they all ended in failure. I wanted to give up, until the appearance of a single man rekindled my hope.
This man is three years older than me, his name is Liu Shuwei, and I often call him Lao Liu. Although Lao Liu does not have a pension, his economic conditions are many times better than mine. He has five door-to-door rooms in his hands, and his monthly income is easily tens of thousands. At first, I thought that Lao Liu had such good conditions, how could he possibly fall in love with me?But I didn't expect that Lao Liu had a good impression of me at first sight, and made it clear that he wanted to date me.
Lao Liu had such an idea, and of course I happily agreed. During the relationship, I found that Lao Liu was good, kind and low-key. Most importantly, he was very generous and often invited me to restaurants for dinner or bought me clothes. Although I advised him not to spend too much money, he insisted that he would not.
After a year of dating, Lao Liu gave me a gorgeous necklace and a delicate ring, and proposed to me in person. In view of Lao Liu's thoughtfulness to me during this time, coupled with his usual words and deeds, I agreed to his marriage proposal without hesitation, and we immediately got the certificate to get married.
After marriage, Lao Liu did not change his kindness to me, on the contrary, he was more attentive and considerate to me. He generously gave me pocket money every month and was willing to share the household chores with me. Whether it is going out to run errands or arranging leisure time, he always gives priority to my wishes, making our life full of warmth and tacit understanding.
Although we occasionally have misunderstandings and conflicts over some things, Lao Liu always apologizes in a timely manner with a humble attitude, and our relationship has never been grudged because of disputes. I understand that this is all Lao Liu accommodating me, out of deep affection for me.
Because of this, I never care about Lao Liu's mistakes, and choose to be tolerant and forgiving. As a result, our relationship has always been good, and the only point of conflict has become an issue that we have to argue about almost every day.
The incident originated from the fact that after getting married, Lao Liu would let out a deafening snoring every night. Snoring is normal, but Lao Liu's snoring is so loud that I feel unbearable.
Originally, I had insomnia, but when I was unmarried, I slept alone, so the problem was not serious. However, the situation is very different now, Lao Liu sleeps soundly, and I have difficulty sleeping almost all night. Sometimes I try to kick him lightly, and the snoring may slow down a little, but after a short time it will come back to the same as before.
Due to severe sleep deprivation, my mental state has become very bad and I look much older. The originally healthy body has also begun to have problems, and Lao Liu's snoring has obviously affected my physical health. Although I am tolerant of him, I also have my own bottom line.
At the beginning, I did not have a conflict with Lao Liu in person, but obtained a secret recipe for snoring from a friend. Lao Liu also actively cooperated and took the medicine on time every time. However, the results have been disappointing and even ineffective. Therefore, I decided to give up completely.
In order to ensure a better night's sleep in the future, I decided to move to another bedroom and sleep in a separate bed with Lao Liu. Surprisingly, since I shared the bed with Lao Liu, I slept until dawn at night, which made me feel particularly happy. However, Lao Liu was dissatisfied with this.
Lao Liu said to me: "We are husband and wife, and we have a deep relationship, why do you choose to sleep in separate beds?"I know that my snoring at night affects your rest, and I don't want to, but for my sake, can't you bear it?”
I replied, "I don't want to sleep in separate beds either, but the problem is that your night snoring has taken a toll on my health." You want me to tolerate you, but have you considered my feelings?Husbands and wives should understand and tolerate each other, and I know that, but you can't compromise my physical health. What do you think?”
As soon as I finished speaking, Lao Liu stood up angrily and said, "I'm usually so good to you, there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that the snoring is a little louder, I admit it." But that doesn't justify us splitting beds. Besides, don't I usually tolerate you?Now I only have this one request, you can't meet it, and you're too ruthless. Anyway, I don't care, if you insist on sleeping in separate beds, then let's get a divorce!”
Lao Liu's statement was so staggering to me, I never expected it, because I insisted on sleeping in a separate bed with him, Lao Liu actually proposed a divorce. Once the news spreads, it makes people laugh and cry. However, from Lao Liu's firm eyes, I could feel his determination to divorce.
Despite this, I still had a fluke mentality and didn't take Lao Liu's words seriously. I still insist on sleeping in separate beds, because in my opinion, since I married Lao Liu, we have lived a fairly happy life, there are almost no major conflicts, and the relationship between husband and wife has always been deep. What Lao Liu said may just be angry for a while, and he will be fine when he calms down.
However, what I didn't expect was that Lao Liu was serious. Ever since I insisted on sleeping in separate beds, he was cold to me at first, like a stranger. A month has passed, and he is getting a divorce every night.
Although I kept trying to reason with him in the hope that he would understand my choice, he didn't listen at all and insisted on a divorce. If I really get divorced, I am indeed a little unwilling in my heart, because Lao Liu is the second person who is really good to me besides my husband. If I lose him, I'm afraid it will be difficult to meet someone who is good to me in the future. But why can't Lao Liu understand it?Am I really wrong?
Right now, I have only two choices: either sacrifice my health and maintain a happy marriage;Either give up a happy marriage and protect the individual's body. It was a really difficult decision, if it were you, what would you choose?