Have you ever encountered such a situation, obviously you have compromised a lot for the other party, but the relationship is still getting weaker and weaker, this is actually because most people misunderstand the meaning of "running-in".
Many people think that running-in is patience, sacrifice and compromise, and that as long as one party accommodates the other party and makes changes for the other party, it is called running-in, or it is to transform the other party under the banner of loving each other.
But in fact, the real run-in is not so simple.
The real run-in is to reach some kind of consensus with each other, find rules and patterns that are comfortable for each other, and it is based on the fact that both parties want to manage the relationship well, rather than consuming and coercing.
It's all too common for couples to quarrel, but the difference is that some couples get better the more they argue, while some couples break up after arguing. And this part of the couple, just failed to learn to express their thoughts and feelings correctly.
Most of the time it is: because of something quarrel, the girl gets angry, the boy is also angry, and the emotion is agitated, the girl starts the cold war mode, the boy starts to apologize unconditionally, and reconciles.
This situation may seem normal at first glance, but it doesn't solve the problem at all. The girl didn't say what she was angry about, and the boy may not understand what the problem is from beginning to end, but he just thinks that the ending is good and everything will be fine.
Therefore, we must learn to express ourselves correctly and solve the problem with a sharp point. In many cases, the more two people run in, the more tired they become, in essence, the old problems have not been solved, and new problems come one after another, resulting in more and more contradictions, and finally they naturally can't go on.
It is not enough to know how to communicate correctly, but also to know how to solve problems effectively. For example, if you want to eat hot pot, but he wants to eat barbecue, you can disagree about it, or just get angry and quarrel. But after the quarrel, a consensus must be reached to solve the problem.
Or draw lots, guess boxing, or stipulate who to listen to on any day, such a quarrel is meaningful. Otherwise, it will only quarrel and not solve the problem, and sooner or later the feelings will wear out.
There is no shortcut to love, and running-in is the only way. A good run-in is that when you make a sacrifice for this relationship, your heart is not wronged, but the happiness of thinking of him making changes for you.