Chatting with others and making them want to chat with you has always been a concern.
As long as you keep in mind that "the point of the conversation is to let the other person express themselves", this is easy to achieve. When talking to others, we often make the mistake of talking too much about ourselves and constantly emphasizing our thoughts and opinions. We often say, "I think it's ......."I think it's ......”
But people are less inclined to chat with such people. Why is this so?Because when talking to a person, hearing him emphasize his point of view and feelings all the time can make one feel uncomfortable and feel like he is aggressive. Naturally, people are reluctant to be close to him and do not like to talk to him.
In a book, I read a quote that says, "When we interact with people, we must let go of our own opinions, and only when we let go of our own opinions can we really have a dialogue with the other person." ”
So if you want people to want to talk to you and enjoy talking to you, the first thing you have to do is make them express themselves better. People want opportunities and space to express their opinions. Therefore, it is very important to guide others to express themselves in the conversation. So how do you do it?
Here's a way to do this: When chatting with someone, use a combination of interrogative and affirmative sentences to expand the topic and stimulate the other person's desire to express themselves. When two people are chatting, always using affirmative sentences and always using interrogative sentences can have completely different effects. The person who uses the interrogative sentence is really exploring the other person's thoughts.
Of course, this does not mean that we encourage everyone to take one"Interrogation"In a way that constantly asks for the other party's personal information and forces the other party to reveal certain things.
Instead, we need to try to get the other person to speak their hearts in a guided way. When you use interrogative sentences, the other person will feel that you really care about their thoughts and feelings, not just your own. People who really want to start a conversation don't talk about themselves all the time. They will ask, and they want to hear what others have to say. It's easier to hear what the other person really thinks by asking. The key to communication is to make the other party willing to express their ideas, and asking questions is the most effective and primary way.
Therefore, you have to lead the other person to express their thoughts, and that way is to ask. It should be noted that this kind of question is to explore in a certain direction, rather than changing the topic, first asking about work, then asking if you like to eat pasta, and then asking which university you went to school.
So how can you better ask questions in a conversation and guide the other person to express your thoughts more effectively?The answer is: get to know each other more and understand the topics they are interested in.
For example, the other party recently did a good project and achieved good results. You can use this as a starting point to ask them, "I heard that you were working on a project recently, and this project has done a great job and the response has been great. You're amazing!The other person's answer is usually preceded by a few words of modesty.
At this point, you can go on and say, "Why do you want to do this project?"."The other person will definitely explain the reason to you. Then you can continue to ask, "Have you ever considered that working on this project will cost your existing time and work harder?"Naturally, the other person will continue to share their feelings and thoughts with you.
Either way, the other person will not be able to answer it in a few simple sentences, and the other person obviously has a lot of ideas to express and enjoy the process. In this way, are you still worried that you will not have a topic to talk about with the other person?Will the other person enjoy the conversation with you?
To sum up, if you want to start a conversation with the other person well, try to choose what interests them and recognize their efforts and appreciate their abilities. This way, the other person will naturally enjoy the conversation with you.
Finally, share a one-size-fits-all way to make the other person enjoy chatting with you: The first step is to praise or ask questions about topics related to the other person;The second step is to listen to and affirm the other person's efforts or suggestions from the other person's answersThe third step is to end with a compliment or question.
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