Leng Qiuyue, a beautiful and talented woman, was taught by Mr. Leng wholeheartedly, but in the end she ended up going crazy. After being rejected by Lu Zhaopeng repeatedly, she ran naked on the White Deer Plain, shouting out the despair in her heart: "If you don't sleep with me, then I'll find another man." However, the most heart-wrenching person was not Mr. Leng, but Lu Zhaopeng. He felt guilty about Leng Qiuyue, like that sentence: "I don't kill Boren, but Boren died because of me." ”
Lu Zhaopeng never thought of marrying Leng Qiuyue, let alone driving her crazy. All these tragedies were actually caused by his father Lu Zilin. It can be said that it was those three resounding slaps that forced out this marriage. Lu Zhaopeng was the first young man in Bailuyuan to accept new learning, and he was very disgusted with the feudal ideas that still remained in Bailuyuan, including the traditional concept of "the words of the matchmaker of the parents".
For Lu Zhaopeng, even if he has seen Leng Qiuyue, there is no way to talk about whether he likes it or not. Just because of the "arranged marriage", Lu Zhaopeng will have a strong disgust. For a young man who is learning a new school, and then let him abide by feudal etiquette, how can the so-called "unity of knowledge and action" justify itself?So, in the days when the wedding date was approaching, Lu Zhaopeng kept hiding in the provincial capital and refused to go home, expressing his resistance to this marriage in this way.
However, he still couldn't resist the pressure after all. It is described in the original book: Leng Qiuyue didn't know that her marriage to Lu Zhaopeng was the result of Ah Gong's three slaps. The first slap was taken in the city, and Lu Zilin's slap made Lu Zhaopeng's nose and mouth bleed, and his face was considered submissive with a sad face;The second slap was taken by Ah Gong in Liu Mou'er's bullpen, on the wedding night, Lu Zhaopeng refused to eat Hehuan wontons, let alone sleep in the new house, Lu Zilin slapped another hand with blood, and beat Lu Zhaopeng to the new house. The third slap was drawn in front of the ancestral tablet, Lu Zhaopeng was unwilling to worship his ancestors without the ancestral hall, or Lu Zilin's slap slapped him into the ancestral hall.
After completing a series of rituals for marrying, Lu Zilin said to Lu Zhaopeng, who was saddened: "You can go wherever you want to go now!."You can die wherever you want, your baby remember, you still have a daughter-in-law in the house. This passage seems to be the best commentary on this marriage: the combination of Leng Qiuyue and Lu Zhaopeng was a helplessness and tragedy from the beginning.
Lu Zilin thought that a woman in the house could tie his son's heart, but Lu Zhaopeng left without looking back, and this trip was a year. For Lu Zhaopeng, Leng Qiuyue is more like the daughter-in-law he married for the Lu family than his own wife. After a year of marriage, Leng Qiuyue never saw Lu Zhaopeng again, and her impression of Lu Zhaopeng only stayed on the night when the two of them "**". She hoped countless times at night that Lu Zhaopeng would suddenly come home and lie down beside her, but all this was just a fantasy.
At first, Leng Qiuyue kept telling herself that her husband was a person with lofty ideals, and the reason why he didn't go home was because he was too busy to take a break. She would rather believe that Lu Zhaopeng will one day return home. However, it is not so much that she is reminding herself as she is deceiving herself. She tries to alleviate the pain of reality through self-soothing, and perhaps if this continues, the pain will become less real.
Leng Qiuyue waited at home for 20 years old, but Lu Zhaopeng had no intention of marrying her. In fact, Mr. Leng had long seen that Lu Zhaopeng's mind was not on his daughter. However, he still said to Lu Zilin: "Don't worry, I will raise my daughter well and wait for Zhaopeng to marry at any time." The reason why Mr. Leng said this is because he is bound by traditional etiquette. In his opinion, since he has exchanged posts and recognized relatives, he should abide by the rules of his ancestors.
And Lu Zilin also has his own considerations. The two families have been married since childhood, and Mr. Leng is a respected famous doctor, if the Lu family regrets the marriage at this time, he Lu Zilin will not be able to withstand the pressure of the village.
In this way, one for the so-called "etiquette" and the other for the so-called "face", forcibly tied Lu Zhaopeng and Leng Qiuyue together, and finally drove Leng Qiuyue crazy. This can't help but remind me of Bai Ling's grandmother's insistence on wrapping Bai Ling's little feet. And Bai Jiaxuan couldn't bear to let his daughter suffer, he bravely fought against feudal etiquette and did his best to protect his daughter, so that Bai Ling was saved from the destruction of feudal etiquette since he was a child.
If Mr. Leng can also have the courage to resist the shackles of feudal etiquette and secular concepts like Bai Jiaxuan, maybe Leng Qiuyue can also have a happier life. When faced with life choices, we should put our true feelings first, rather than being overly rigid in traditional etiquette. If Leng Qiuyue's father could go beyond the shackles of etiquette and religion and care more about and protect his daughter, maybe Leng Qiuyue would have a different ending.
Those so-called "ancestral rules" are actually just traditional cultural customs formed by the older generation in their long-term lives. However, we cannot blindly assume that all inherited cultures are correct and should be upheld. The value of a culture should be truly measured by whether it conforms to objective laws, not simply by the length of time it has existed.
Sometimes, a person's fate depends on their courage to challenge traditional ideas and customs. Leng Qiuyue's story is an example of this. As a father, Mr. Leng failed to cross the boundaries of etiquette to protect his daughter, causing Leng Qiuyue to suffer greatly. Lu Zhaopeng had tried to make an effort for this unhappy marriage, and he described the vastness and freshness of the outside world to Leng Qiuyue, but in the end failed to impress her.
What's even more sad is that when Lu Zhaopeng returned to her hometown as the principal of Bailuyuan Primary School, Leng Qiuyue still thought that her happy life was coming. She naturally served Lu Zhaopeng to take a bath, and Lu Zhaopeng did not refuse. Seeing the scar on Lu Zhaopeng's back, Leng Qiuyue was shocked and asked him what he had been through in the past few months. However, no matter how hard Lu Zhaopeng tried, the gap between him and Leng Qiuyue was always insurmountable.
This not only reveals the constraints of traditional concepts on the individual, but also shows the dilemma of people facing their fate helplessly. Lu Zhaopeng obviously had something to say, but he couldn't find anyone who knew how to listen. He tried to open up to Leng Qiuyue and asked her if she would like to listen. However, Leng Qiuyue replied firmly: "No, I don't ask you what you do outside, I only think you are my man." This sentence made Lu Zhaopeng difficult to say even if he had all kinds of emotions.
In this world, there are some feelings that cannot be understood. Just as Leng Qiuyue couldn't understand the dark night in Lu Zhaopeng's heart, Lu Zhaopeng couldn't understand Leng Qiuyue's philosophy of life. When Leng Qiuyue asked him if he would settle down in this stable plain, he told her that now that the war was raging, he had to fight for more places to be as peaceful as the White Deer Plain.
For Leng Qiuyue, Lu Zhaopeng's ideals and ambitions are as incomprehensible as a book from heaven. She touched him on the shoulder and told him that she would do anything for him as long as he didn't leave, even if she would only hide from difficulties like an ostrich. However, what Lu Zhaopeng needs is not this, what he hopes is to have someone who understands him and fights side by side with him.
Zhou Guoping once said: "In marriage, the degree of emotional satisfaction of both parties depends on the weaker one. "If the emotions between two people are not equal, then the satisfaction between them will also be greatly reduced. The estrangement between Lu Zhaopeng and Leng Qiuyue has been deeply imprinted between them, making their lives feel like walking on different tracks.
After that deep conversation, Lu Zhaopeng never opened his heart to Leng Qiuyue again. He packed his bags and moved to live in the academy, and since then he has drifted away from Leng Qiuyue. Leng Qiuyue spent her days in an empty room, hoping that her grandfather could bring news of Lu Zhaopeng, but she never got her wish. At this time, Lu Zilin came up with a bad idea for Leng Qiuyue, asking her to take the futon to the school to find Lu Zhaopeng, and told him that he could only go home if she was pregnant with a child;Or threaten Lu Zhaopeng to commit suicide in Lu's house if he doesn't go home;It was even suggested that Lu Zhaopeng's meals be drugged to force him to submit. However, Lu Zhaopeng resolutely resisted their oppression, and Leng Qiuyue could only continue to live a life of widowhood.
On the wedding night, Lu Zhaopeng and Leng Qiuyue had an intimate contact, which made Leng Qiuyue, who tasted the forbidden fruit for the first time, unforgettable. As time passed, the desires in her heart became stronger and stronger. She once told Lu Zhaopeng: "I feel like I can't hold it anymore." During that time, Leng Qiuyue often had strange dreams in which she had intimate relationships with Lu Zhaopeng or others. It is described in the original book: "During that time, Leng Qiuyue often dreamed. She dreamed that she and Zhao Peng trembled like a madman, and after trembling, she was surprised to find that the face that had risen from her was not Zhao Peng but Zhao Hai.
The next day, when she saw Zhaohai take the rice bowl from her, she couldn't help blushing and her heart beating. Then she dreamed that she was trembling with Heiwa, that is, when she was cleaning the courtyard to pour dirt outside the door, she saw Heiwa carrying light stones through the streets and alleys in the twilight. What's worse is that last night I dreamed that I was trembling with Ah Gong Lu Zilin, and when Ah Gong raised his face on her, he was suddenly ashamed and fled in a hurry. She was so weak that she didn't dare to raise her face to look into any man's eyes, and those chaotic dreams appeared more and more often."
Because of her shyness and guilt, Leng Qiuyue couldn't confide her dreams and desires to others. As a victim and victim, she is afraid to show her true emotions like a child who has done something wrong. This long-term restraint made her desire even stronger, and she was even regarded as the best idea by the world.
Lu Zhaopeng resolutely disagreed with Leng Qiuyue**, which aggravated Leng Qiuyue's inner pain. In the world of the cold autumn moon, even the basic ** has become a luxury that is difficult to reach. The long-term self-restraint made her desire more and more intense, and eventually evolved into an evil thought that was spurned by others.
He didn't think that Leng Qiuyue was just a tool for giving birth to a baby, and he didn't want her to be more attached to him because of this, nor did he want to add unnecessary worries to himself. In the lonely night, Leng Qiuyue could only guard the empty room alone, and could only get some satisfaction in her dreams. However, any desire, once unchecked, can go astray. In the end, Leng Qiuyue turned her mind to her male Lu Zilin.
Once, after Lu Zilin was drunk, he took advantage of the fact that there was no one at home and behaved frivolously towards Leng Qiuyue. Leng Qiuyue was extremely disgusted by this, and she was disgusted with the sour smell of wine emanating from Lu Zilin's body. The next day, Leng Qiuyue deliberately put a handful of wheat straw in Lu Zilin's meal, meaning that he was just a lowly animal. However, this behavior stimulated the improper desire in her heart, and she began to pin the pleasure of men and women on the male Lu Zilin.
One day, when there was no one at home, Leng Qiuyue prepared four dishes and wine for Lu Zilin, obviously intending to have a relationship with him. However, Lu Zilin put a handful of wheat straw in Leng Qiuyue's bowl to remind her to keep the rules. This straw completely crushed Leng Qiuyue's self-esteem.
Leng Qiuyue's overtures to Lu Zilin were the collapse of her inner defense. She hated Lu Zilin's frivolous behavior in her heart, but she was so horny that she had nowhere to seek comfort. She wanted to settle for the next best thing, as long as there were men willing to accept her and taste it. However, when she let go of her dignity, all she got was humiliation.
Lu Zilin's wheat grass completely drove Leng Qiuyue crazy, and from then on she became delirious and babbling nonsense. On the stage of Bailuyuan, the crazy Leng Qiuyue sang repeatedly: Xiao'e's hair is black and oily....Although Tian Xiao'e was abused by the people in Bailu Plain, in Leng Qiuyue's heart, she was envious of Tian Xiao'e. Tian Xiao'e's life is full of love and hate, she lives a real and full life, and tastes the ups and downs of life.
In contrast, although Leng Qiuyue has a high status, as the daughter-in-law of the principal of Lu University, she is like a walking corpse that has lost her soul, and even the most basic emotions are imprisoned. If Leng Qiuyue was allowed to choose, she might choose a life like Tian Xiao'e, because although that life is hard, it is full of vitality and truth. Isn't life supposed to be entangled between love and hate, and deeply experience what is the joy of fish and water?If a person has never deeply experienced what love and hate are in this life, then how sad this life should be.