Xue Baochai, from a Confucian point of view, is a model of a perfect personality.
She is elegant and dignified, virtuous and steady, talented and unassuming.
Whether it is appearance, knowledge, upbringing, or the handling of interpersonal relationships, it can be called perfect.
Such a woman, in today's society, is bound to be particularly dazzling.
Many people like to deal with people like Baochai, she will never say anything nasty, let alone do anything out of line with rudeness.
No matter who she is, whether she is noble or humble, who likes or dislikes, she is always gentle and respectful.
How can such a person who has practiced hard not be respected?
However, when you really get close to such a person, you will find that although she is kind, it is difficult to get close to, and she will always maintain a polite distance, which is prohibitive.
Baochai is excellent, but her excellence is an illusion.
Because behind this excellent personality, she has lost the true nature of a soul.
Personality is a person's "self", and "self" is a substitute for "ontology", a product of socialization.
The essence is the nature of the soul. It is the "beginning" of "the beginning of man, the nature is good".
A baby, before it is socially stained, is born with its own spirit, which is the so-called "essence", the most primitive and innocent part.
This essence is what Wang Yangming called the unblinded "heart", which is the bright nature of each person who is born with God and is one with the way of heaven.
With the growth of a person, in the process of socialization, this heart is gradually affected by human factors, and under a set of human rules of behavior and moral standards, it is gradually affected and smoked.
As a result, the mind is gradually obscured, and in the end it is completely covered to the point that it cannot be seen, and is replaced by a "self" that is influenced by the world.
This self is what we call "personality", it is actually a "me" that is a combination of various factors, it is a substitute for the ontology, an impostor. Therefore, personality is illusory and unreal.
Sex is similar, Xi is far away", people's nature is similar, but the acquired experience and environmental differences make everyone form a different personality, that is, the false "self".
In the Confucian value system, Xue Baochai's personality is perfect, but that is not her nature, and perhaps even she has forgotten this. This is the biggest difference between her and Lin Daiyu.
However, from an objective point of view, in the One World, souls are all equal. It is only from the perspective of a dualistic human world that there is a distinction and comparison.
Lin Daiyu and Xue Baochai's nature is equally noble, just like each of us.
But that "heart", falling on this earthly world, will inevitably be affected by different degrees of dyeing and different levels. Thus, false personalities appeared, and in this way, the character of people was distinguished.
Lin Daiyu's personality may be slightly flawed, but her sexual spirit is naturally revealed, which is the reason why Jia Baoyu loves her, and it is also the factor that makes many readers love her inexplicably.
Baochai has lived out the perfect personality in the Confucian social value system, she is the standard daughter in the eyes of her parents, the ideal daughter-in-law in the eyes of men, and the girl with high emotional intelligence recognized by the society, who is outstanding and impeccable.
It's just that her sexual spirit is completely obscured. Almost all of her words and deeds are artificially shaped. Her excellence lies in the fact that she has shaped this "self" to perfection.
Therefore, when you look friendly and lovely from a distance, you will know that the core of that personality is "cold".
Xue Baochai has been taking a medicine called "Cold Incense Pill" in the book. These three words are the symbol of her personality.
Her personality is very "fragrant", like a spring breeze, and she is loved. But as soon as you get a little closer, you know that the incense is cold, it is rational without temperature, and it is artificially synthesized, and there is no natural part at all.
Such a personality is indeed very suitable for purely rational interpersonal relationships, and it is an ideal cooperative relationship with moderate proportion, civilization and courtesy.
However, when it comes to intimacy, it's fatal. It's like a perfect AI (computer) wife, although she can handle all matters perfectly, but it seems that only the truth and warmth of the sexual spirit are missing.
If the other half is also of the same type as her, it is influenced by the Confucian system, a humble gentleman who pursues worldly achievements and self-improvement, and it is not indispensable for two people to respect each other as guests, and it is very likely to achieve a good marriage.
However, for Jia Baoyu, who despises Confucian tradition and pursues true temperament, marrying such a good wife praised by everyone, although such a marriage is glamorous on the outside, the pain in the heart is indescribable.
Therefore, in this life, Jia Baoyu and Xue Baochai can only be said to be destined to become husband and wife, but they have no chance to fall in love.