Zhang Ailing said: "Born in this world, there is no relationship that is not full of holes. ”
In Xiao Ai", the fifth wife's marriage road is hard and humble, but her pursuit of a lifetime of happiness is just a flash in the pan.
After decades of compromise, the fifth wife not only did not get the true love of her husband, but also did not even have any feelings for the children she raised.
I've heard a saying: ".In any bad relationship, you have a share of the credit. Because we unconsciously teach others how to treat themselves.
In other words, you allow others to do to you as they do to you.
And the world often does not sympathize with the weak, and always appreciates those who dare to persevere to the end and be themselves.
Life is short, don't prosper others, but waste yourself.
The fifth wife is filling the house, her husband Xi Jingfan is the fifth, and the original wife died early, leaving him a son and a daughter.
The fifth master also has three aunts, and the fifth wife's maiden family and the Xi family are old relatives, and Xi Jingfan was forced to send two of them under pressure, leaving only the most favored third aunt.
Before leaving the cabinet, her mother's family repeatedly told her not to overwhelm others.
The day after the fifth wife crossed the door, the third aunt came to kowtow to her, and the fifth wife should also be courteous, but she was stopped by her old mother in the room.
The third aunt is too accustomed to adding oil and vinegar, not a fuel-efficient lamp, crying in front of the fifth master, and she is wronged.
The fifth master and the fifth wife have this theory, Xi Jingfan has been polishing in the officialdom for many years, and he is more than ten years older than the fifth wife, how can he be willing to meet her in general, and since then he has ignored her, and the fifth wife has lost a reputation for having a big temper.
Soon, the fifth master left Shanghai with his third aunt to take up his post in Beijing, leaving the fifth wife like an abandoned woman and a widow, and had to fulfill her obligations to be the stepmother of two children.
The two companions no longer helped Mrs. Five, patted their butts and went back to their old club.
When he had a brief reunion with the fifth master in Nanjing, Xi Jingfan had difficulty getting the fifth wife's room once, but he made the fifth wife's girl Xiao Ai have a big belly.
The fifth wife was angry and ashamed, not to mention that her husband beat the girl, but she had no choice but to let Xiao Ai give birth to a child, firstly, she had a hope for herself, and secondly, she wanted to save the relationship between husband and wife.
It's a pity that when the third aunt came to the door too aggressively and deliberately kicked Xiao Ai's stomach, the fifth lady sat on the chair and didn't make a sound.
allowed her girl to be kicked to a miscarriage, and the third aunt bullied not only Xiao Ai, but also slapped the fifth wife's face in public.
Seeing death and not saving her is tantamount to aiding and abusive, and it is no wonder that she is getting worse and worse and becoming a joke for others.
The fifth wife usually likes to play mahjong, prepare snacks and take care of dinner, and the concubines and nephews in the house are happy to flow here.
It's just the excitement on the surface, but it can't suppress the desolation in Mrs. Five's heart.
In reality, how can we not be like this, afraid of this and that, and look at all our faces, lest we offend people.
But the world never has mercy on those who give up on themselves, and the world appreciates everyone who dares to insist on being themselves.
André Gide admonishes people: ".It's better to be hated than to be loved by pretending.
If we allow others to dictate our lives, we must end up suffering from ourselves.
Less than a month after getting married, the fifth master abandoned the fifth wife and left, she didn't say that her husband was selfish and lucky, but blamed her mother's family for having a wrong idea.
Even, the fifth wife still has an expectation for Xi Jingfan, and it is rare to see him in her mother-in-law's house, and the fifth wife will be flushed and cramped.
However, a person who doesn't have you in his heart, the better you treat him, the more ruthless he is.
After the Northern Expedition, Xi Jingfan went to Nanjing to do things. One day, Mrs. Fifth suddenly received a letter from him to take her to Nanjing.
This matter is normal for ordinary couples, but it is very abrupt for the fifth wife, and the people in the mansion are also surprised to hear the news.
The fifth wife naturally has to speculate, and after thinking about it, she came to a conclusion:
The fifth master must be older, and he is not uncommon to the flowers and plants outside, and he wants the prodigal son to turn back and live a good life with her.
When the fifth wife rushed to Nanjing, she found out that the fifth master called her because he took a fancy to her dowry and asked her to take out her jewelry to find a way for herself in the officialdom.
The fifth master got what he wanted, and the use value of the fifth wife was over.
When Xiao Ai was bullied by the fifth master, the third aunt regarded her as a thorn in her side, and the fifth wife still wanted to continue to beg for grievances and survive in Nanjing.
But the fifth master is not reliable at all, he is not responsible for Xiao Ai, and he thinks that the fifth wife is an eyesore, so he avoids it every day.
However, he understood with Mrs. Tao's mother of the fifth wife, and strongly persuaded Mrs. Wu to leave Nanjing and return to Shanghai.
has been married to Xi Jingfan for more than ten years, and the fifth wife should have understood that they have no feelings, and the relationship between husband and wife has long existed in name only.
It's a pity that she always obeys the arrangements of others and gives up the right to choose her own destiny.
If a relationship can't clearly understand itself and blindly avoid consuming itself, it will inevitably end bleakly.
On the other hand, the girl Xiao Ai, although her personal freedom was restricted, Xiao Ai did not give in to herself, patiently waited for the opportunity, and chose her sweetheart Jin Huai after careful consideration.
Psychologist Carl Jung said:"There is no awakening that is not accompanied by pain. ”
In life, it is inevitable to fall into a quagmire. There will always be someone who will wake up from the pain and recognize and redefine themselves with the greatest courage.
Even if you can't change reality, you can still choose to face it.
Because, no matter what, at all times, we are the only ones who can be responsible for us.
The fifth wife was snubbed by the fifth master, and every day was like being on the edge of the abyss, currying favor in front of her mother-in-law, and being cautious between her concubines.
The country grange sent a lot of loquats, but the fifth wife didn't get one here, and she had to spend her own money to buy and eat;
If you buy a girl in the house, the one who gives it to the fifth wife must be the one who is picked and left;
Knowing that she was being slighted, Mrs. Fifth replied with "forget it".
The third aunt fell out of favor too much, so she came to Xi Mansion to find Xi Jingfan, pounced on the air, and went to the fifth wife's room with a grievance.
The fifth wife doesn't remember the old evils, listens to her nagging, and compliments her in a hurry, the third aunt is too peaceful, as if she is the wife of the main house, and the fifth wife has become an aunt's wife.
Mrs. Fifth likes to buy some gadgets and put them on the table, as long as people see them and say hello casually, she will definitely give them to him sincerely.
She has been ignored for too long, as if what others like her is also an affirmation of her person, enough to make her like it for a long time.
Perhaps, a woman like her, whose husband is reluctant to stay overnight, has no children of her own, and she is panicked.
Therefore, she curryed favor with all those who threatened her, but in front of these people, Mrs. Fifth always showed a kind, tolerant, and patient side, and fell into a good reputation for virtue.
And the other side of her is cruel and indifferent. When Xiao Ai came to Mrs. Five, she was just a seven or eight-year-old country child, and she was still ignorant, and Mrs. Fifth beat and scolded her, without any pity.
Perhaps, the fifth wife dreams about how to make her husband like her and live an ordinary life like an ordinary couple.
However, it is easy for a person to live a lifetime and be liked for a while, but it is far from easy to be cherished forever.
Just like us now, no matter what kind of life we live, there are always people who don't like it.
No matter how well we do, there will always be people who question and find all sorts of reasons to deny us.
Carnegie said:"If a person wants to understand that there is love in the world and love in the world, he must first start by loving himself, and loving himself is the foundation of all love. ”
In the adult world, there are many mud bodhisattvas who take care of themselves, and it is far better to learn to swim and cross by themselves.
The greatest charm of a person is to live as a light, illuminating himself and others.
Lin Qingxuan said:"Life is just like that, the pursuit of becoming a better, more spiritual and spiritual self. ”
The fifth wife's greatest sorrow is to keep begging outward, bullying the weaker and currying favor with those who ignore her.
She exhausted her savings, and after the family broke up, she had to let her stepson go to Xi Jingfan to ask for living expenses, and she struggled to survive, and she didn't know that her husband was dead.
And the girl Xiao Ai is helpless, and she has to be beaten by the fifth aunt in addition to being bullied by the people in the house, but she still pursues the light in the dark, not only seizes the opportunity to restore her freedom, but also has a husband who loves her.
In that turbulent society, Xiao Ai was neither humble nor arrogant, shouldered the burden of supporting her in-laws with her weak shoulders, and lived herself into a mountain.
Keigo Higashino said"When you hesitate to do something, you already have a choice in your heart, but you don't have enough reason to convince yourself. ”
It is not difficult to see from these two masters and servants with very different identities that many times, when we encounter misfortune, it is not that the world is unfair to us, but that we give up on ourselves.
In fact, it is not our past experiences that determine ourselves, but how we perceive ourselves in the present.
Life is one's own, there is no need to demand oneself according to other people's standards, and one should not sacrifice one's own happiness for the preferences of others.
To live as your own sun, to dispel the haze, warm and powerful.