"If I confiscate her phone, she's going to fight with me!”"Poke the pillow with scissors and say you're going to kill us all. ”
This is a mother's complaint, saying that she never thought that her daughter, who was at the top of the class, would be robbed of her mobile phone, and that's itCrazy and irritable。To be honest, the biggest headache for contemporary parents,Addiction to mobile phones must be number one!Parents can't get used to seeing their children addicted to mobile phonesDisconnection of the Internet, confiscation of mobile phones, snatching of mobile phonesIt's all the same.
But, you will find thatGrabbing a mobile phone is equivalent to lighting a fire in the gas room. The more you grab, the more confrontational the child becomes!The ending is: mother and daughter turn against each other, father and son become enemies!So, I really want to remind all parents:Always, never, don't rudely snatch your child's phone!Because, the moment you do it,You have destroyed the dignity of your children and torn apart your parent-child relationship. You awaken the furiest beast in your child's heart and drive her to the precipice. 
You're stealing your phone, you're waking up the beastHow happy a child is when he plays with his phone, how angry he will be when you snatch it away. Beijing subway, 15-year-old boy, got into an argument with his mother over his mobile phone. Mom was so angry that she snatched the phone and threw it on the ground to vent her anger. The boy completely lost his mind, pressed his mother to the corner, and choked ...... neck
In May last year, a 12-year-old boy in Guangxi was spotted playing a mobile game by his father. The father immediately confiscated the mobile phone, and after a severe reprimand, the boy could not let go. The next day, the boy jumped from the 23rd floor of the top floor of the community ......
Why is it that by grabbing a mobile phone, children can fight with adults, or even die?
Because, what you snatched away was your phone, and what you woke up was an angry beast!Scientific studies have found that when children are addicted to mobile phones, their brains continue to secrete dopamine. Let the child's body and mind be in a state of excitement and pleasure "addiction". Once the state is interrupted, the brain instinctively senses the danger and activates quickly"fight-or-flight".。At this time, the brain is more emotionally sensitive and less analytical and judgmental. In other words,Highly emotional, super aggressive!For children, that's it:Whoever robs me of my pleasure, I will attack him with my anger and burn him!
This kind of attack generally manifests itself in two forms:External attack - attack you (vent anger);Internal attack - to attack oneself (retaliation). What we saw above: yelling and swearing, punching and kicking each other, poking pillows, and smashing things, are all external attacks. If outward attacks don't work, turn your anger inwardUse self-destruction to plunge the other person into pain. For example, self-harm, self-harm, and even suicide. Whatever the attack, you'll find out in the end:
Rough prohibition must be a lose-lose situation. 
If you take a different approach, the problem will be better solvedIf you are angry, the child will annihilate you with even greater anger!In the face of the beast addicted to mobile phones, instead of grabbing the mobile phone, a different way may be a better solution. 1) See first and find the problemIn war, there will never be a winner. The first thing you have to do in the war with your children isExit the battlefield first!Take a pause and steady yourself – calm, calm, calm again. Wait until you calm down and then think about itWhat difficulties did the child encounter and how to solve it!Don't say it's not difficult, it's just that there is a problem with the child or the mobile phone. If you don't see your child's difficulties and pain, you will never be able to help your child. Behind a child's addiction to mobile phones, he must have experienced countless pains. For example:Does the child suffer from the emotional neglect of his parents and look for emotional companionship in his mobile phone?Does your child experience heavy academic pressure, relieving the stress on the phone?Is your child experiencing peer isolation and seeking social partners on their phones?Does the child find a sense of accomplishment when his grades are declining, and he is looking for self-worth in his mobile phone?When we calm down and see the child's problem, we can really solve the problem again. 2) Re-buffer and repair the relationshipPeople are the product of relationships, and they have been longing for connection all their lives. When a child is born, in addition to food and clothing, he longs for an emotional connection with his mother. Go back and look at the mother at the beginning of the article, and you will find thatBehind her daughter's addiction to mobile phones, there are countless times of emotional neglect. I lost contact with my mother, lost contact with my family, and lost contact with my current life. Never been affirmed and praised :The daughter cried to her mother that her efforts had never been affirmed, and even if she finished 14th in the exam, she could not get a word of praise;Eccentric younger brother of the second-child family:The sister and the younger brother argued, and the mother ordered the daughter to go back to the roomParents are emotionally broken, and mom has a new boyfriend:The boyfriend repeatedly persuaded the mother that "the children are like this, don't be reluctant if you can't save them......".If there is no love in the real world, then go to the mobile phone world to find love. This is a true portrayal of the hearts of most mobile phone addicted children. And what can really change a child is unconditional love. Bian Yufang Research:For every 10% increase in parent-child relationship, a child's cell phone addiction can be reduced by about 7%. Warm connection with children, maintaining intimate interactions, and letting children feel love is the antidote to the mobile phone problem. 3) Find a replacement and fill in the blanksThere is a question that every parent should ask themselves:Children don't play with their phones, what do they play?What's more fun than a mobile phone?If you want your child not to play with their phone, let them play something else!Before the third grade of primary school, children are happy to hang out with their parents as long as their parents are willing. For example, go to the park to see the flowers in the spring, swim and camp in the summer, pick up leaves in the fall, and go out to see snow skating in the winter. Either one, in the eyes of children, it will be more fun than mobile phones. However, when children are in their teens, many children are reluctant to play with their parents. At this time, parents need to guide their children to discover and cultivate points of interest. For example, reading, playing football, playing basketball, observing nature ......Any heartfelt hobby can help reduce screen time for children. For example, our baby finishes his homework every day, and his free time is spent checking information and catching insects. Because his hobby is to observe insects. School is on a tight schedule, and after school, he just takes every opportunity to learn about insects. Keep your child busy and too busy to play with his phone. Let them experience the joy and beauty of life beyond their mobile phones. 
Children who can only play with mobile phones are barren and lonely inside. However, it is not a matter of one or two days to get your child out of the quagmire of mobile phones.
Judging by my "experience of struggle", these methods worked. But the process is bound to be tough!You will have conflicts, and children will go back and forth. You need to be loving, with patience and toleranceTo see the child's difficulties and pain. You also need to be wise and set rules with your childrenFind the joy of life and get rid of your phone control. It is even more important for you to lead by example and be a good exampleIn front of children, even if you endure it, you should play less with your mobile phone. The winter vacation is coming, and this is also a period of high incidence of mobile phone conflicts, I hope today's article can inspire you. Of course, there are thousands of children and families, and you can also find the best solution according to your family's unique causes, which is far more effective than someone else directly giving you a method!You can check out our previous dedicated article: Pulling my daughter back from the edge of being addicted to her mobile phone: this trick really works, and I didn't believe it at first!