In a study of the channels for finding a job, people relied on their friends to refer them to find a job, and only found them by people who only had a one-sided relationship. In fact, familiar friends are in the same circle as you and often know about the same information as you, while those "general friends" who are different from your circle can understand information that you don't know. So today we're going to talk about weak ties, the kind of networks that we often overlook but can bring great value.
Strong ties and weak ties.
Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist at the University of Oxford, found that the most intimate circle has 3-5 people, then 12-15 people, and losing them will devastate you, then 30-40 people, some of the people you are in constant contact with, and then 150 people, and these 150 people are the upper limit of the number of people that the human intellect allows them to have. As for the network of more than 150 people, you will know these people but you will not care about them that much.
Stanford University's Mark Granovetter divides strong ties and weak ties into strong ties and weak ties based on the relationship between people before their psychological distance. A strong connection is that you are in the same circle, have been together for a long time, and have similar ideas and views, while a weak connection is someone outside your circle, someone you just met or don't care so about, and your interactions are often based on value exchange.
If you want to write a resume, your friend will help you revise your resume. As a weak contact, if her company is hiring, and you are looking for such a job, it is also a candidate who meets the requirements, and it is also a matter of helping you to do a little publicity, which benefits both parties and makes both parties happy.
When you talk about life, reality, and ideals, a strong contact is enough, but when you want to find someone to work with and want to know information, a weak contact is actually the best choice. Therefore, weak ties are the key to linking different social circles and promoting the transmission of information and the exchange of value. Strong contacts determine the depth of your network, and weak contacts determine the breadth of your network.
How to expand weak ties.
We are familiar with the six-dimensional space theory (you can't have more than six people between you and any stranger, that is, you can get to know any stranger through a maximum of 6 intermediaries), as long as a social platform reaches enough people and everyone has enough friends, then the people in the network will eventually be connected to each other.
But why do we still feel like we're in a small circle when social ** is so developed?In fact, when we can easily shorten the physical distance, it is actually difficult for us to shorten the mental distance, just as it is difficult for you to have any intersection with a passerby.
So how can we expand weak ties?
Clause. 1. Get out of your comfort zone. Most people have a great fear of associating with strangers, but in order to expand their circle, they must take the initiative to "expose" themselves and take the initiative to enter strange circles. When you take the first step, it also determines the breadth of your network, and your content determines how long you can talk to the other person, which determines the depth of your network in the future. Here are a few recommended methods for everyone:1Let others introduce you and let your strong contacts bring you into other circles of gatherings and events. Of course, it doesn't make any sense if you don't say a word. 2.By taking the initiative to connect with each other, you can connect yourself with friends who are not familiar with each other, and they will also help you introduce their friends. 3.With the help of common topics, most Chinese are more reserved and rarely take the initiative to socialize. So when you want a friend to introduce his friend, you need to know who the other person is and what topics you have in common before.
Clause. 2. Choose the right circle. You added a lot of WeChat groups, but you didn't get any valuable information, you participated in a lot of activities, and in the end no one knew ......When choosing an interpersonal network, we should pay attention to:1Don't overlap too much with your existing network, weak connections are used to understand information and broaden your horizons, and if the overlap is too large, it's similar to what you learned from your friends. 2.can bring you value, and there's no need to socialize for the sake of socializing. 3.You can contribute and value to this circle, and if you don't have any value, why should others accept you?
Clause. 3. Differentiated positioning. Many people will show a side that they don't have after entering a circle, and try their best to please others. Each person's personality and strengths are different, and their role in the network is also different. There will be four roles in the network:1Nodes are to connect different people together. Experts, people who have information and resources. Celebrities, persuasive people, have a strong personality. An assistant, a person who provides services in a circle.
Clause. Fourth, put the right attitude. When we socialize, we must remember to show our true selves, don't pretend to be ourselves, neither humble nor arrogant, and it is very good to be generous. Sometimes, the more humble you are, the more others may be able to gain an inch. Again, don't be too utilitarian in your starting point, because your purpose behind it will manifest itself in a knee-jerk reaction, and once others perceive it, it will only be an exchange of interests between you.
Clause. Fifth, use good skills. 1.Image management is very important, know that there are different image dresses on different occasions. 2.Communicate with people, more than you can say, let him speak, and if you don't have what you can say, guide him to say. 3.Show your abilities and values appropriately, and if you have any special achievements or abilities, you may want to share them with others.
Clause. 6. Don't rely too much on networking. After the above Xi, we know the value of weak connections, but weak connections cannot replace strong connections, so don't ignore your friends. But if you find something that is very compatible with you among people with weak ties, it can be transformed into strong ties. Of course, the most important thing is your own ability, and you are the key to success.
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