Raymond Moody said, "A man's character determines his fate." ”
What kind of character you have, what kind of destiny you have.
It couldn't be more appropriate to give this sentence to Evelyn in "The Right Bank of the Erguna".
Evelyn is the aunt of the woman who --- the last chieftain of the Evenkis, and is a crooked-nosed woman who is the most tragic character in the book.
And the root of her tragedy comes from her pride, strength, stubbornness, coldness and bitter character.
These characters of hers made her live a life of resentment and loneliness, and ruined the lives of her husband and two sons.
A strong personality was the beginning of her unhappy marriage
When Evelyn and Kunde were young, their parents betrothed them a baby.
Growing up, Kunde was full of heroism, and once when he was changing hunt at the market, he fell in love with a Mongolian girl.
But his father didn't allow him to marry Evelyn, and from then on, Kunde was discouraged.
And Evelyn looks down on depressed men the most, and often counts Kunde and scolds him for nothing.
Kunde's father was very angry, and once he said to Evelyn, "If I knew that you had treated Kunde like this, I might as well have let him divorce and marry a Mongolian girl."
It was only then that Evelyn understood the reason for Kunde's listlessness.
Evelyn, who has a strong nature, became angry, and in a fit of rage, ran back to her parents' house with her pregnancy, vowing never to return to Kunde.
Kunde did not dare to disobey his father's instructions, and went to pick up Evelyn several times, but he scolded him back.
After Evelyn gave birth to Kinder, she thought that the child could not live without a father, so she accepted Kunde, but her condition was that Kunde live with her.
When it came to the woman's Kunde, she lived a low-eyed life from then on, and Evelyn would take out her anger at him if she was a little unhappy.
Kunde swallowed his anger for his son Jinde, but Evelyn still didn't forgive him and never slept with him.
The birth of her son Jinde was the reason why Evelyn accepted Kunde, and it was also the beginning of the nightmare in the life of Kunde father and son.
The narrow-minded personality harmed Kunde and himself
Teacher Jin Yunrong said"Any marriage needs to be maintained with dedication, and no one is exempt!”
And many people enter marriage because they want to be happy, but they don't know how to manage and cherish it, and they live a married life like chicken feathers.
Evelyn is a person who doesn't know how to manage and cherish her marriage, and turns her marriage into a lifetime of resentment, punishment and misery, which harms Kunde and herself.
Although she has a family, a husband and children, she never sits and eats with their father and son, and often dislikes and abuses their father and son.
Once, Quinder drank too much and cried and told Hasher that he didn't live like a man at all. Evelyn hadn't accepted his pleas once, saying that it was enough to give birth to a seed of iniquity for him.
Even if Kunde has fallen in love with someone else, this is a person's instinct, not a fault.
Whether it is out of the majesty of the father or the rules of the clan, he has married you, and agreed to join you, has accepted you, and is willing to go down with you.
As a wife, you should give him love and warmth, give him understanding and respect, give him trust and care, instead of scolding him, torturing him and humiliating him, trampling on his dignity as a man, how can there be love at all?
When their two children died of Evelyn's single-mindedness and resentment, Kunde's little affection for her was also exhausted, and from then on, Kunde often heard Kunde punishing, tormenting, and whipping Evelyn in Ullilen's camp.
From then on, the two miserable people rarely spoke, living alone in their marriage, and Evelyn's heart gradually twisted in this tug.
They said that when he was young, Kunde was like a green grass with rich juice, and when it came to Evelyn's hands, after her long rubbing, it had become a dry grass.
Teacher Jin Yunrong said"Affection in marriage, like points, is a consumable that can be increased and decreased. There is no inherently suitable couple, and all happy marriages need to be constantly run-in. ”
Yes, a happy marriage requires two people to communicate sincerely, understand each other, care for each other, trust each other, take responsibility for each other and nourish each other.
But Evelyn doesn't understand, she doesn't give Kunde the opportunity to communicate with her, she doesn't know that sex is a spiritual way to promote marital harmony, and she doesn't know how to respect others.
So, Evelyn, who is full of resentment in her heart, not only harms Kunde, but also herself.
His single-minded character killed his two sons
Teacher Yin Jianli said"The three-point tantrum you have with your child will hurt your child by seven points. ”
A person's best upbringing is to leave the best emotions to the people closest to them.
Evelyn, on the other hand, gave her husband and children the worst emotions, the most vicious language, and the most cruel behavior.
The heroine's younger brothers, Rooney and Jinde, fall in love with another Evenki Nihao at the same time, and Rooney bravely proposes on the spot.
Evelyn also likes Niho, but she hates her son's cowardice, and when she sees her tear-filled son Jinde, she not only spits on him, but also ties him to a tree and whips him.
A few years later, Evelyn asks Kim to marry the crooked-mouthed Geferina, but Kim refuses.
He said that even if he would never marry a woman in his life, he would not live in a Xilen pillar with that crooked-mouthed girl, and if that was the case, it would be better to let him live in a grave.
Evelyn sneered at him, then you live in the grave.
Evelyn's words, in a word.
Despite the opposition of King and the others, she still sewed wedding dresses for King and Gephrina, looked at the date, and prepared things for the wedding.
When their wedding ceremony was over and everyone was drinking, singing, and dancing around the campfire, Kim hanged himself from a dead tree.
At this time, Kunde, whose face was distorted by pain, asked Evelyn tremblingly: Now, he is your Evelyn's son, right?
Jinde, because of Evelyn's stubbornness and single-mindedness, allowed her and Kunde's tragedy to replicate on her son, killing him.
Because Kunde often tortures Evelyn in a forced** way to get him pregnant again, Kunde has hope again, showing tenderness and thoughtfulness towards her that he has never had before.
Don't let her get cold water, don't let her chop wood, don't let her feed salt to the reindeer, I'm afraid that if any reindeer suddenly gets naughty, it will kick her in the stomach;Evelyn is doing needlework, and Kunde has to remind her in every possible way, for fear that she will flash her waist and move the fetus.
However, Evelyn is indifferent to Kunde's concern, sometimes even sneering, and venting her resentment and revenge on Kunde on her second unborn child.
On a snowy day in the depths of winter, Evelyn rode her skis and shuttled through the mountains and snow valleys for a day, ending the little life that Kunde had been longing for day and night.
When she returned in the evening, Evelyn had a ghost-like cape, her face was cloudy with tears, and her roe de lik skin pants were purple with blood.
She trembled violently, oozing drops of blood from her legs.
At this time, her eyes when she looked at Kunde were full of pleasure of revenge, but also revealed indescribable sadness.
At this time, Kunde went crazy and whipped Evelyn with a leather whip.
Evelyn didn't scream or scream, the pain had numbed her, and Kunde was completely decadent.
Since then, the two of them have rarely spoken.
Evelyn's narrow-mindedness and single-mindedness hurt her husband and her two poor innocent children, and she is hurting herself.
A paranoid personality and a loveless marriage will not end well after all.
Write at the end
Romain Rolland said"A person's character determines his chances. If you like to keep your character, then you have no right to refuse your chances. ”
A life of strength, stubbornness, single-mindedness and ruthlessness allowed Evelyn to spend her life in resentment, and to catch up with the life of Kunde and her son.
At the end of her life, Evelyn let go of her grudges and became much gentler.
She completely let go of resentment, let happiness in, and people were much kinder, but she woke up too late.
But she finally got inner peace, and at the last moment of her life, she was blowing sores on the children of the woman she once resented.
Zhu Xi said: "Our character is our self. ”
Evelyn's tragic story tells us that a person's life is a mood, and a good character leads to a good life;A good attitude leads to a good future;To be kind to others is also to be kind to yourself.
I hope that Evelyn's tragedy will not be repeated in reality.