Author: Zheng Lili.
The Book of Songs was written in the middle of the Spring and Autumn Period, when wars were frequent, and Confucian intellectuals wanted to use ritual music to educate the people and save the world, so the Book of Songs came into being.
At that time, ritual music was undoubtedly advanced, and it had not yet become a "cannibalistic rite religion" in later generations. The Book of Songs respects human nature and does not regard love as a beast, so naturally, there are many chapters about love and marriage in the Book of Songs.
What is commendable is that "The Book of Songs" is not like a fairy tale, but only celebrates the beauty of love, scribbling to the end of "the prince and princess live happily together", and it also writes about the problems that may arise in marriage and love.
A "Book of Songs", a hundred turns and thousands of times of love, also enlightens today's people, how to manage their love life.
The occurrence of love is inseparable from beautiful encounters.
This encounter can be "just a glance at you in the crowd, and it will be hard to forget your face from now on", such as "Qin Feng." Pu Jia.
The leaves are pale, and the white dew is frost. The so-called Iraqi people are on the water side. Tracing back to it, the road is obstructive and long. Tracing from it, it is like water**.
The leaves are green, and the white dew is not dawning. The so-called Yi people are in the water of the Mae. Tracing back to it, the road is blocked and climbing. Tracing from it, it is like being in the water.
The leaves are picked, and the white dew is not over. The so-called Yi people are in the water. Tracing back to it, the road is blocked and right. Tracing from it, it is like being in the water. ”
Autumn water soup, large white reed flowers flying all over the sky, beloved girl, seems to be standing by the river. The reeds are vast, the dense fog condenses into dewdrops, and the "Yiren" in the poem, like a fairy, is erratic and out of sight. The road of tracing the lover is also difficult and long (the road is long and difficult), rugged and difficult to climb (the road is obstructive and long).
Now, many people don't dare to take the first step in love, I'm afraid that they are scared by the girl's (or guy's) seemingly cold appearance and uncertain attitude like the young man in "Pu Jia", right?
Don't be afraid, in fact, there are skills in love. The "threshold effect" tells us that we can't take a leap when we walk through a door, but we can reach it by starting from the steps under our feet and climbing up step by step.
When you are ready to pursue each other, you can use small gifts as a step to test each other's hearts. Papaya is a good example:
Vote for me with papaya, and repay it with Qiongju. Bandit retribution, always think it is good!
Vote for me with a peach, and repay it with Qiong Yao. Bandit retribution, always think it is good!
Vote for me with Mu Li, and repay it with Qiongjiu. Bandit retribution, always think it is good!”
In this poem, the first party who is interested in giving away small fruits such as papaya, peaches, and plums, and if the other party is interested, they will give something back, usually a little jade. Although the gift is not expensive, it is very clever to test each other's hearts.
We often see in daily life that some boys are not enthusiastic about the pursuit of love, or holding a large bouquet of flowers, or directly downstairs in the goddess's residence, placing love candles, playing guitar, and confessing to the goddess in their hearts in full view. In this way, romance is romance, but it requires the courage to "move forward". In case the goddess (male god) has no intention and refuses on the spot, wouldn't it be embarrassing for both parties?
Or like "Papaya", giving small gifts is a more appropriate and ingenious way. If they are interested in each other, the two sides give and give, and they quietly determine each other's intentionsIf you don't have the intention, you don't give something back, and you don't have to be embarrassed to refuse in person.
Make sure that you have each other's intentions, and then it's time to exchange ideas. The small gift is just the first "step" to the door of the other party's heart, and then, how to walk the rest of the "steps" well and quickly?
* It is a way to quickly shorten the distance between each other, for which the ancestors have long been familiar with it. "The Book of Songs" begins with "Zhou Nan. Guan Ju" is the scene where the guy plays a musical instrument and pursues the girl:
Guan Guan Ju Dove, in the river island. My Fair Lady, Gentleman.
Jagged wattles, left and right flowing. My Fair Lady, I covet it.
I can't ask for it, but I can't think about it. Leisurely, tossing and turning.
Jagged wattles, picked left and right. My Fair Lady, Friends of the Piano.
Jagged wattle, left and right. My Fair Lady, bells and drums. ”
"Friends of the Piano", "Bell and Drum Music", is the piano, the serpent, the bell, and the drum, and there are really a lot of musical instruments that this young man knows in the poem.
In real life, being good at ** is also a plus for being in love. In the simple mountains, girls who are good at singing mountain songs are more popular with the guys;In the green campus, the guy who can play the guitar is more likely to be favored by the girl;In the bustling city, the "Maiba" in KTV is also more likely to attract the attention of the opposite sex. It seems that human preferences for ** are engraved in genes.
* is the booster of love, and more importantly, it is through ** to test whether each other's spirits are in tune. After all, only when the spirit is in harmony and the three views are the same, the cornerstone of love is firm.
What is commendable is that the "Book of Songs" does not avoid the problem of emotional life. What should you do when you meet someone other than you in marriage and love?
Zheng Feng. Jiang Zhongzi told us euphemistically: To know people, we must see the subtleties, even if we are in love, we must retain a trace of reason.
Will Zhong Zixi, no more than me, no fold my tree. How dare you love nothing?Fear my Father.
Mother. Zhong can be pregnant, and his parents are speechless and fearful.
Will be Zhongzixi, no more than my wall, no fold my mulberry. How dare you love nothing?Fear my brothers. Zhong Kehuai also, the brothers are speechless and fearful.
Will be Zhongzixi, no more than my garden, no fold my tree sandalwood. How dare you love nothing?Fear people have nothing to say. Zhong can also be nostalgic, and people can be afraid without saying much. ”
In the poem, Zhongzi did not hesitate to step on the mulberry tree, but also climbed over the high wall of the girl's house to meet.
Nakako's love is not unenthusiastic. However, does Nakako really love girls?Does he think about girls?Its behavior of "climbing over the wall and crossing the hole" will make the girl fall into the whirlpool of rumors. So much so that the girl repeatedly begged him: "The words of the parents are terrible", "The words of the brothers are terrible", and "The words of many people are also terrible".
Is this Zhongzi really reckless and carried away by love, or is he so selfish that he doesn't bother to think about his lover's situation?Is such a man really worth entrusting for life?It's really a sweat for the heroine.
When a person, when in love, does not consider your situation, then this person's character is very problematic. In other words, today, Zhongzi is what people call a "scumbag".
The scumbag is arguable at a glance and easy to avoid, but the hypocrite is unguardable. "Wei Feng. The male protagonist in "Hooligans" is a more concealed "hypocrite".
The male protagonist in the poem is called a hooligan, he looks honest, he does not seem frivolous, and he is looking for the heroine to get married. In fact, the hooligan is not really honest, he is a rather "smart" man, who came to discuss marriage with the heroine under the pretext of buying and selling silk.
When he heard that the heroine couldn't get married as promised, the gangster got angry. The heroine thought that the gangster was in a hurry and angry because she was in a hurry and couldn't get married. In fact, the tyrannical temper of the hooligan has faintly revealed its hideous minions.
Sure enough, after marriage, the hooligan revealed his true nature of "two or three virtues". The heroine works hard to manage the housework ("self-indulgence, three-year-old food poverty"), but she still inevitably suffers from domestic violence ("As for the violence").
Sadness is naturally there, but the heroine is not just indulging in sadness. She will reflect ("quiet words and thoughts"), look back on the road of feelings, she concluded: "Yu is a woman, there is no delay." The skewness of the scholar can still be said. A woman's cowardice cannot be said."
Yu sighs for the girl, and there is no one to delay", and now it is also a reasonable word. The Book of Songs is written in a concise and concise way, and Beauvoir's words are a more detailed interpretation: "[Women] are not called to strive and follow their own path, but to hear that if you slide down, you can reach the paradise of bliss." By the time she found out she had been fooled by the mirage, it was already too late. ”
Women, at any time, should not indulge too much in love.
What is even more admirable is the courage of the heroine's strong man to break her wrist.
The heroine wants to go back to her parents' house and get the support of her mother's family, but her brothers laugh at her ("Brothers don't know, laugh at her"). Although the road ahead is difficult, the heroine finally decides to leave her husband. She is soberly aware that Qishui still has a riverbank, and if she stays in a hopeless marriage, there will be no end to her miserable life ("Qi has a bank, and Xi has Pan").
Divorce is a severe pain for the heroine, but fortunately in misfortune, she still has the courage to trek out of the quagmire.
Divorce is not so easy at any time. Nowadays, there are many women who encounter their husbands cheating and gambling in their marriages, and do not dare to divorce due to the constraints of economic conditions;There are also many girls who, when they are in love, obviously have a loss of character from their boyfriends, and they are reluctant to leave because of their feelings for many years.
Compared with the era in the "Book of Songs", today's Chinese society is too much friendly to women, we have a women's federation, there is a national law for the protection of women's rights and interests, and there are opportunities to go out to work
Therefore, when you meet someone who is not ladylike, please learn from the heroine in "Hooligans", don't hesitate, and leave bravely.
Only in this way can there be a glimmer of life.
After watching "Hooligans", I can't help but make people's hearts beat the drums. Is it really like the popular saying: "Marriage is the grave of love"?
In fact, marriage is not the grave of love, but the refrigerator of love. Just imagine, how long can love last with passion alone?Marriage, although it cools the passion, preserves love for a longer time in the daily life like water.
Since we know and love each other, let us enter into marriage. There are many poems in the Book of Songs, which describe the beauty of married life.
Marriage is both solemn and lively. "Zhou Nan Taoyao" describes the lively marriage scene.
The peach is dying, scorching its glory. The son is home, and it is appropriate for him to live in his room.
The peach is dying, and there is a fact. The son is home, and his family room is appropriate.
The peach is dying, and its leaves are blooming. The son is home, and it is suitable for his family. ”
The bride in the wedding is as bright and beautiful as a blooming peach blossom ("scorching its bloom"). The bride will not only be bright and attractive, but she will also be a good daughter-in-law who is good at running the house ("Yiqi Room", "Yiqi Family", "Yiqi Family").
People give good wishes to the newlyweds, and may they be like the dense leaves of the peach tree ("its leaves") and the abundant fruit ("the fruit of the peach"), and they will be full of descendants.
After the grand and cheerful wedding, it is to bear life together, such as "Wang Feng. Gentleman in Service".
The gentleman is in service, and he doesn't know the period. What is it??Chickens perched on the ridge. At the end of the day, the sheep and cattle came down. A gentleman is in service, so why not think!
A gentleman is in service, not day or month. What is it?Chickens perched on the maze. At the end of the day, the sheep and cattle are bracketed. A gentleman is in service, and there is no hunger or thirst”
The scene described in "Gentleman in Service" really travels through the past and the present. The husband is busy earning money while the wife takes care of the housework, and at sunset, she cooks meals and calculates her husband's return. Although life is hard, with a home, life has a warm way home.
In the Book of Songs, there is not only the deep affection of the woman, but also the attachment of the husband to his wife.
Green clothes, green clothes and yellow clothes. The worries of the heart, I have already maintained it!
Green clothes, green clothes and yellow clothes. The worry of the heart, the death of the mother!
Green and silky, the woman is cured. I think of the ancients, and I have nothing to worry about.
It's bleak, and it's bleak. I think of the ancients, and I really win my heart!”
The man in "Green Clothes" looked at the green clothes in his hand and sighed: "Green clothes, green clothes, green face, yellow lining, I miss you, the deceased good wife, so that I am less guilty on weekdays, fine kudzu cloth, coarse kudzu cloth, worn on the body is cool and relish, I miss the deceased good wife, it really irons my heart." ”
After reading the "Book of Songs", I can see the warmth of watching and helping each other in marriage. After all, a person's power is limited, in the face of loneliness and aging, people are as small as mayflies, but with thoughts, they can leave a mark on each other. Just because they support each other, they are not afraid of the long road of life.
Tip: If you liked this article, please ** and comment.