For a long time, I haven't really let go of my last relationship. At least not as thoroughly as letting go and letting go. Or rather, I tried, but it didn't work well. What I haunt is not that the relationship is fruitless, but that my ex abandoned and "betrayed" me. He broke up without saying a word, and he had a new relationship less than three months after the breakup. He left so decisively, and started so quickly, it gave me the feeling that he was ready to run away, always planning to leave. It hurt and angered me more than he didn't love me anymore, or even never loved me. This feeling of being stabbed in the back by a loved one is like wearing a coat that you like very much, but at some point it is torn. What's more, you only realize that your clothes are torn after you go out and when the wind passes through the hole. Perhaps, in a way, I care more about my dignity, his integrity, and his attitude towards love than whether he loves me or not. 
He easily destroyed all these things that I valued. The creed of life that I take as the guide, the belief in love that I regard as a treasure, he treats it as if it were nothing, and it is easy to trample on.
So in response or revenge, I didn't forgive him for a long time after the separation. Every time I recall him, I describe him as a negative image. Tell everyone who mentions him about his negative intentions and scum over and over again. Talk about how he promised and how he broke the contract, and what he promised me didn't come true. Talk about how affectionate and ruthless he is, how attentive he is when he chases me, and how cruel he is when he leaves me. As for myself, I have always stood in the perspective of a victim, avoiding my own verbal criticism and the rain of bullets from others. From the beginning to the end, I felt that I was not wrong, and it was him who was wrong. After all, it was he who didn't love first, he turned around first, and he fell in love with others first. How innocent are the people who were left behind halfway. 
Because I was the one who was abandoned, every time I think back on this relationship, I subconsciously deny it, feeling that I have not been loved.
I denied myself, and I denied him, and I denied the years we spent together, for better or worse. I always said he didn't really like me, otherwise he wouldn't have broken up with me. But every time I asked him the question, "Have you ever liked me?" he answered yes. So much so that I began to wonder if he was lying, or if I had misunderstood him. How can a person give up on someone, leave her, and like another person when he has liked her, or even still likes her, and likes another person instead?
Shouldn't love be from the beginning?I used to think so. But then it turned out that it was hard and hard. The reason couldn't be simpler, it's like liking fruits, yesterday I liked bananas, today I ate mangoes, and the day after tomorrow I want to eat durian. Loving it once doesn't mean liking it every time. Just because love has gone away doesn't mean that love hasn't happened. 
Going back to me and my ex, he admitted that he liked me, which is true, but that didn't prevent him from suddenly feeling tired of it, or that someone better would show up, and the other person was prettier and more interesting than me, so he was attracted to it. Or, more realistically, there is something in myself that I can't see, I haven't found yet, and he's had enough of it anymore. In this case, my retention, my reluctance, my anger, and even my accusations were useless and cruel to him. In many cases, we can't even tolerate our own shortcomings and flaws, so why should we ask others to tolerate and forgive us, even our partners. What's more, the first person to mention the breakup was actually me.
Even though I was just tentative, on the spur of the moment. But when the idea of "breaking up" was formed in my mind and blurted out again, I really thought about it, or I would separate it. In this way, I have no reason or right to blame or be angry with him. This light is only halfway to fate, and it is the pause button that we pressed together. If he is a wicked person, I can be so good that I can go **. 
I don't know what role he played in his new relationship or what he promised her. Whether or not the things that broke my promise at the beginning have been made up for by her.
But I believe that this time he should be serious. The words he once said to me, the determination to go on with me, may also be true. It's just that we met at the wrong time, so this story couldn't be continued. After he left, I cursed, resented, unwilling, missed and regretted him. When he started a new relationship, I had no blessings or gloating about him. Now, again, there is no superfluous greeting to express, just want to say a word to him: you are not sorry for me. 
It's not your fault that you left the show. It's not your fault that you like someone very quickly. You are not the perpetrator, and I am not the victim. You don't deserve to be abused and spit on, and I don't need to be sympathized and pitied.
Your dedication, sincerity, cherishing and value for this relationship are the same as mine, I believe.
We're all good, nice people, but it's not suitable to be boyfriend and girlfriend. If we meet at a different time and place, and don't talk about love, we will also have endless topics to talk about.
You will find the amiable and lovely on the other side of me, and I will also see the maturity and stability on the other side of you.
But that's okay, that's fine now.
To be a stranger, to avoid violent joy, there will be no beginning and no end, and naturally there will be no sorrow. Hello and goodbye, my dear stranger.