Wen Zen Wen Xiu
01 Preamble
Between people, the sense of proportion of adults is that you don't need to confess that you know the answer, and the answer is already the answer.
To be polite is to alienate you, and to be silent is to refuse;To flicker is to lie. Many things don't need words, and if you know it, you will understand it.
Measured, that is to say, my attitude is gentle, my tone is respectful, and there is tacit understanding between the two of us, which is also called boundary.
Therefore, people must have a sense of proportion, a sense of boundary, and a sense of boundary is very important, if a person loses the boundary, too much involvement in the lives of others, in the name of friendship, or in the name of love to control other people's lives, interfere with others, this is considered to be out of bounds, this will bring a lot of troubles to themselves and friends.
02 The highest level of emotional intelligence is a person who can take care of proportions
What is proportion?Proportionality means that you can perceive the other person's politeness, and be able to hear his rejection, be able to recognize his hints, and understand his subtlety.
Proportionality is a tacit understanding of adults.
Someone else says, "Why don't you stay and eat?" and you say, "Okay."When you ask a person how much he earns, he just says, "Enough to spend," and then you break the casserole and ask, "How much?"”
You have to know that when we evaluate others and say that this person is very measured in what he says and does, this is a very high evaluation, you ask a person how much he earns, and he says that it is enough to spend, you don't ask for specific numbers, this is called proportion;
If you ask someone to eat, they say that you don't have to ask which day it is, this is called proportion
You ask a person why he doesn't answer **, people say I just had something, you don't have to ask anything specific, if he wants to say, he has already said it, many things are not that he can't say, he just doesn't want to say it.
You ask someone to do something, and people say next time, next time there is no next time, you don't ask which time next time?
You know, in adult interactions, all vague offers are polite;All incandid promises are rejections, and inquiries that end with "bar" mean that the other person expects a negative answer from you;
If you don't have a specific date, you don't actually intend to invite.
Therefore, the highest level of emotional intelligence is someone who can take a sense of proportion.
03 A high-class woman has a sense of proportion
High-level women have a sense of proportion, you don't think they are arrogant, in fact, they are very delicate in their hearts.
Their spiritual world is very rich, and they know very well what kind of person they are and what they want to become.
They are not materialistic, but at the same time affectionate and righteous, because they have a strong sense of empathy, so they will never easily hurt a person, nor will they cater to a certain person.
But if they encounter hurt in their relationship, they decide to turn back, for those men who pretend to stay, they have shielding power, there is no humility in their world, there is no inferiority.
They will realize that the real boundaries come from themselves, and they need to be able to have a clear definition of their own boundaries and not others.
04 The higher the energy of a woman, the stronger the sense of proportion.
The higher the energy, the stronger the sense of proportion, because they need to rely on the sense of proportion to protect their energy.
On the other hand, people with low energy levels have a sense of proportion because they don't realize that their daily energy and energy are effective resources that can be easily eaten up by others.
So a woman with a sense of proportion, she will make people feel gentle and cold, taciturn, but they will be good listeners, they don't like to get involved in arguments, but they can often get straight to the key issues.
A woman with real high energy has the ability to control herself, only control herself, and know how to ensure that her energy is not overdrawn by others.
On the contrary, there are many low-energy people, because she is lacking, so she likes to control others, for example, she likes to preach, is a good teacher, and speaks aggressively, which does not mean that she is true temperament, nor does it mean that she is righteous, but she just has no sense of boundary, no sense of proportion, she likes to cross the line to meddle in the fate of others.
Therefore, a low-energy person, even if she has no time to take care of herself, is still keen to be between others, while a high-energy person once she has established her own boundaries, she will learn to be self-sufficient, and she will give more to others by believing in her own energy.
In fact, most of a girl's disasters come from herself, and she has no sense of boundaries and proportion.
In our social interactions, you have to be measured in your dealings with anyone, so that others will have a sense of awe for you.
When a person has no fear for you, he starts to bully you unscrupulously because he knows you too well.
So from the perspective of doing things, this is a kind of lack of proportion.
has no sense of proportion, it is a taboo in interpersonal communication, it is a fetter, and even sometimes, he is a ** knife.
Normal interpersonal relationships are to keep a certain distance from others in the process of communication, no matter how intimate the relationship, she must respect the personality of the other party, this is a natural rule.
05 Epilogue
Between people, no matter how good the relationship is, we must also grasp the scale, the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, because it is light, so it can not be greasy, and the relationship can last.
Get along with others, everything is measured, and the relationship can last for a long time.
All good relationships actually have their own sense of boundaries, no matter how intimate the relationship is, there are insurmountable boundaries.
Protecting your own boundaries and not letting others look down on you easily is a kind of protection for ourselves, not to violate the boundaries of others, not to let others have a lot of money to intervene in your own life, this is a kind of wisdom.
Not getting too involved in other people's lives is also a kind of cultivation.
Maintaining a clear sense of boundaries is a necessary part of our cultivation as an adult.
The clearer the sense of boundaries, the more comfortable the interpersonal relationship and the happier the person.
You must know that all feelings are actually worthless in the face of interests, and only by keeping your own boundaries and proportions, and respecting others, can you be intimate and distant, and never get tired of being there.
The best way for people to get along with each other is not to discriminate between you and me. It's about not exceeding, intimacy and intimacy, and peace with each other from afar.