In Chinese culture, the son-in-law's first visit to the home is usually an important family event that involves many traditional customs and etiquette. Regarding whether or not to give red envelopes, the answer to this question may vary depending on the region, family habits, and personal preferences.
First of all, I think it's important to understand the cultural significance of red packets. In China, red envelopes (also known as "lai see" or "new year money") are often symbolized as good luck, blessings, and respect. It is not just a transfer of money, but also a way of cultural transmission and emotional expression. Therefore, from a cultural point of view, giving a red envelope to a son-in-law can be seen as a sign of welcome and acceptance, as well as an affirmation that he has become part of the family.
Next, let's look at different scenarios. If your family places a high value on traditional customs, or if you live in a more traditional area, giving a red envelope to your son-in-law may be an expected behavior. In this case, the red envelope is not only a welcome to the son-in-law, but also a sign of respect for his family. There is no fixed amount of red envelopes, and it should be set according to one's financial ability and willingness. It's the heart that matters, not the amount of money.
However, in more modern cities or families that are open to traditional customs, the decision to give red envelopes is more a matter of personal choice. In these cases, I recommend deciding based on what you know about your son-in-law and how close your family is. If you feel that giving a red envelope will make him feel comfortable and welcome, then you can choose to do so. If you think there are other ways to express your welcome and blessings, then you can do that in other ways as well.
In addition, I would like to mention the importance of communication. If you're not sure whether you should give a red envelope or don't know what the appropriate amount is, talk to your daughter or son-in-law beforehand to understand their expectations and preferences. This open and honest communication helps to avoid embarrassment and ensures that this home visit is enjoyable and smooth.
In the end, my point is that regardless of whether you choose to give a red envelope or not, what matters is your acceptance of your son-in-law and the importance you attach to this gathering. By preparing a big dinner, setting up your home, or having an in-depth conversation, you can show your welcome and the importance of the gathering. Red packets are just one way, not the only way.
To sum up, there is no unified answer to whether to give a red envelope to the son-in-law when he comes to the door for the first time. It depends on your cultural background, family habits, and personal preferences. It is important to express your welcome and blessings in an appropriate way, whether it is through red envelopes or other forms. Remember, the ultimate goal is to improve relationships and understanding among family members.