One point of spirit has the lowest cost of good luck 3 words

I have friends who plan to go to a concert and count down with tens of thousands of people on the spot;

A sister quietly bought a plane ticket to Singapore, intending to surprise her exotic boyfriend;

There are also friends who have been alone on New Year's Eve, planning to order a barbecue and then open a bottle of wine, and raise a glass to celebrate with themselves at 0 o'clock. No matter how you spend it, I find that everyone has their ownA sense of ritual。I can't help but wonder, what kind of magic does the sense of ritual have, and what can it bring us?

*：pexels

A sense of ritualcan bring hopeTell me a story about my parents. When my parents first got married, their monthly wages added up to about 200 yuan, and at that time, they could only be regarded as low-level people.

Just buying a second-hand small wedding house cost the two of them their savings. The young couple also knew this, they went out early and returned late, and worked very hard to earn money, but it was only after a while that my mother collapsed. She saw no hope. Because I just graduated, I was assigned to do the most work, the most miscellaneous, and the salary I got was the lowest. After doing the bad work, I came home and looked:

The old color TV brought from my hometown is always a snowflake screen;

The bed board is so old that it creaks and falls off when you touch it;

What she can't get used to is the old refrigerator, which looks dirty, smelly, can't be brushed off no matter how you brush it, and the dishes in it will spoil in a day.

*:p Exels have no ability to resist the hardships of life, and can only let their feelings gradually dissipate in the repetition of day after day.

My mom recognized the problem. Since work and life can't get better for the time being, change the environment! She said: I want to add a little romantic atmosphere to this house, to make it more like a newlywed house.

My dad didn't understand very much: he was so poor to death, why was he so exquisite? But he was still obedient, and he didn't have the money to buy too much new furniture, so they simply did it themselves, repainted the furniture that could still be used, and bought printed fabrics of various patterns as covers. Obviously, it has only changed a corner of the home, but the mentality of the residents is immediately different. They have more expectations for their "new home"; With more home improvement knowledge that I am eager to learn: how can this cabinet be transformed? What should the bedding look like? There are also more topics to talk about: how to change this place; This place needs to add something; Shall we go shopping and find inspiration? The two also set a "decoration **", put it in when they have spare money, regularly check the balance, and what kind of furniture they can buy back. My mom said that during that time, it was very rushing. There are no more complaints in life, and I look forward to what new changes will be made every day, and the life that was originally black and white is instantly bright. In less than a year, the home had a brand new look, and even saved up money to buy a large refrigerator.

*:p exels is very strange, obviously the work content and people have not changed, just because of the sense of "new house" ceremony, the lives of the two have undergone earth-shaking qualitative changes.

A sense of ritualWhat's behind it? In his book "Transitional Etiquette", Van Gennep first proposed the concept of "ritual". He believed that there is always a transformation of human life from one stage to another, and that a ritual is needed in the process of transformation

"Such as birth, social maturity, marriage, fatherhood, ascension to a higher social class, professional specialization, and death.

Each of these events is accompanied by rituals with the same fundamental goal: to enable the individual to transition from one definite stage to another. ”

*:p exelsIt gives people a strong belief in their ability to control their lives, which leads to positive feedback, and therefore greater self-confidence and self-esteem. The male protagonist in the movie "Soul Journey", a pianist, finally found a stage that could take him in after being rejected by many stages. A few days before the show, he was worried that he would mess up, after all, he had messed up several shows before. He thought, even if I fail to perform, I have to show the sense of ritual of a piano master! He walked into a barbershop, cut his hair carefully, and picked out a delicate, well-fitting suit in the suit shop, and he instantly experienced a different kind of confidence. Under the guidance of this mentality, he played the piano with one hand, which directly ignited the scene and was a great success. At the same time, positive psychology proposes that a sense of ritual full of positive cues will also relieve fatigue. Brain science research has shown that when subjects perform trivial and special rituals, the secretion of dopamine in the brain increases, the feeling of fatigue decreases, and the sense of well-being increases.

*:p Exels, though, she just carefully trimmed the flowers and plants on the balcony.

HowEnjoy an exclusive sense of ritual? The sense of ritual is actually a very simple thing, but many people always overthink the sense of ritual as "consumerism" and "hedonism". For example, my friend Xiao A, he didn't like to be lively, but he had to learn from others to arrange a "grand wedding" for his girlfriend, spending more wealth and energy than he could afford, and he was tortured to the point of resentment. Does this sense of ritual really have a positive effect? Therefore, first, we must first correct our perception of the sense of ritual. The sense of ritual should be a personal thing that does not require too much effort and money. If you waste too much and don't get happiness, then this behavior may be a cover for the lack of your heart. Therefore, there are two questions to ask yourself before you have a sense of ceremony:

"When I do this, will I feel happy and happy? "Am I doing this for myself? ”

Do I want to do it because everyone else is doing it? ”

Second, clarify the motivation for the sense of ritual. Since the sense of ritual serves as a psychological suggestion. There must be a motive urging us to do it. It's better to be clear about yourself about the ritual moving machine, what do I need to do? What do I hope to get out of this act?

*:p ExelsIf you just want to make your home look more comfortable, you can buy a bouquet of flowers and put it in your room;

If you just want to make your studies and work more focused, you can order a soothing fragrance for yourself; If you just want to go out for a walk, you can prepare cosmetics for yourself, paint a beautiful makeup, and go to the river to blow the breeze. Only by clarifying our own motivation for behavior can we find our own exclusive sense of ritual, rather than blindly following the rituals of others and ending up with nothing.

Third, establish a contractual relationship with the sense of ritual. This contract represents that the sense of ritual does not have to be carried out on special days, it can be carried out at any time on ordinary days. It is better to learn to establish a contractual relationship with it and cultivate it into a casual habit. For example, couples can make an appointment on a certain day of each month or week to buy groceries and cook together; When you're alone, try to break out of the day of the week, tidy up your room, and trim the flowers.

In short, as long as you suddenly add a little different thing to your ordinary affairs, it will make life very ritualistic. Write at the end"The Little Prince" says:"A sense of ritual is to make a certain day different from other days, to make a certain moment different from other moments. “It's not about how much it costs or how much tricks it plays, it's about our respect and love for life.

Sometimes, a bouquet of flowers on the dining table or a new schoolbag before school starts can give life a sense of ritual. Make every ordinary day memorable.